'Brave'

By

Alp Mortal

Carter Seagrove Book Boutique Edition

Text Copyright© Alp Mortal 2014

All Rights Reserved

Author's Note

'Brave' is a title which I hope conveys both the bravery of the main characters, as they triumph over their respective demons, and the bravery of the Comanche, from whom I have drawn much inspiration for this and other stories.

A young man, living on the streets is knocked down by a car; the driver, a rich and influential businessman, moves the young man from the hospital to his home to care for him.

Thus begins Archie’s journey.

‘Brave’ was written (and originally published) in three parts: ‘Broken’, ‘Mended’ and ‘Demon Rider’. Now re-edited, ‘Brave’ has found a new home in The Carter Seagrove Book Boutique.

The cover design for this edition was provided by The Carter Seagrove Project, an artists’ workspace, created by me, Alp Mortal and my esteemed colleague and very good friend, Chambers Mars.

Kindest regards,

Alp Mortal

September 2014

Synopsis

A destitute and uneducated young man living on the streets is knocked down by a car. The driver, Joseph, a wealthy and influential businessman, takes the young man into his home to better care for him. Thus begins Archie’s journey of self-discovery. Joseph employs a nurse, Nathan, to provide the care and a teacher, Anthony, to help the young man to learn how to read and write. Joseph’s personal assistant, Jacob, completes the cast of this story.

Archie and Nathan fall in love. For Archie, love is a both a word and a feeling which he has never known before.

However, what appears to be charity and compassion on the part of Joseph begins to take on an altogether different complexion and suddenly Archie and Nathan are in danger. Jacob tips them off to the threat and helps them to escape from Joseph’s house. Seeking refuge in the Comanche grasslands, Archie and Nathan meet Gus, an old Comanche warrior, who gives them sanctuary. Learning to ride and exploring the landscape of love is all-consuming, except for the nagging, burning question which was never answered; why had they needed to flee from Joseph and Anthony?

A puzzle, given to Archie by Jacob, once solved, leads them to a hoped for rendezvous with Jacob where the threat becomes both real and deadly. Joseph’s true motives for helping Archie are eventually revealed and all are thrown into mortal danger.

‘Brave’ is a metaphysical journey which borrows from the Comanche creation myth. The title 'Brave' was chosen to convey both the bravery of the main characters as they triumph over their respective demons and the bravery of the Comanche from whom I have drawn much inspiration, both for this and other stories.

'Brave' combines the three stories, 'Broken', 'Mended' and 'Demon Rider'. 'Broken' previously appeared in  'A Liberty Treasury Trio of Gay Romances'. 'Mended' and 'Demon Rider' were previously published as stand-alone titles.

Table of Contents

Author's Note      3

Synopsis      4

Chapter One – At least I got a private room      9

Chapter Two – In roads      14

Chapter Three – New arrivals      22

Chapter Four – Anatomy      39

Chapter Five – Numbers and kisses      50

Chapter Six – My Christening and Birthday      59

Chapter Seven – The chair and liberty      71

Chapter Eight – Time to leave      77

Epilogue and the end of part one      84

Note on part 2      90

Chapter One – A horse, a horse …      91

Chapter Two – Jacob’s puzzle      96

Chapter Three – Decisions      100

Chapter Four – A marrying of minds      103

Chapter Five – Gus has a bright idea      112

Chapter Six – Preparations on all levels      117

Chapter Seven – Smoothing the way      123

Chapter Eight – The Tower      129

Chapter Nine – Not all Comanche die young      131

Chapter Ten – Requiem      136

Chapter Eleven – Peoples of the Four Winds      138

Chapter Twelve – Surprises not shocks      140

Epilogue and the end of part 2      145

Note on part 3      149

Chapter One      150

Jacob’s Ordeal 1      152

Chapter Two      154

Chapter Three      160

Chapter Four      163

Jacob’s Ordeal 2      168

Chapter Five      171

Jacob’s Ordeal 3      177

Chapter Six      180

Chapter Seven      192

Jacob’s Ordeal 4      196

Chapter Eight      202

Chapter Nine      209

Chapter Ten      212

Epilogue      218

The Carter Seagrove Project      219

Broken

By

Alp Mortal

Text Copyright© 2014 Alp Mortal

All Rights Reserved

Chapter One – At least I got a private room

I broke my leg, badly. The first break was near the top and the second just about halfway between the knee and the hip. It was pinned inside and it meant having to stay in traction for six weeks. It wasn’t my fault, this guy lost control of his car on the ice and he really didn’t stand a chance. I wasn’t looking and he hit me. The edge of the bonnet broke my leg just above the knee and the second break occurred as I was thrown over the car and I hit the edge of the kerb as I landed. The rest of my injuries were minor cuts and bruises; they said I was lucky not to have suffered severe head injuries.

Well, the thing is, I don’t have anyone or any place, so when I got to the hospital, there wasn’t any one to call and then they started to treat me differently because I hadn’t washed or eaten in so many days and I couldn’t answer any of their questions because I didn’t understand them. In the end, I just screamed and someone sedated me. When I woke up, I was in this room; everything was white and smelled of bleach. I had a white gown on and do you know, for a second, I thought I was in Heaven. And I would have thought I was in Heaven if I hadn’t been attached to the traction machine and my leg hadn’t hurt like Hell.

No one came; I think they’d forgotten about me. Two days they left me just lying in that room. Then he came, the driver, and all Hell broke loose because he found me. The shouting started and the fussing and the cleaning up and the food and the drink but in the end he said, “Move him to the house.”

He had directed this to a smartly dressed man who was neither young nor old; he looked severe and I was afraid of him. For some reason, I was moved to the man’s house; a large house with a beautiful garden and installed in a room with a window overlooking the garden. The traction machine came too and there was a nurse who tended me all day. At night, she left and I felt very sleepy.

One night, I think she forgot the sleeping pill in my concoction of drugs and I wasn’t sleepy after she’d left. I lay and listened to the noises of the house and I could hear music. Very late, the door opened and the man who had been driving the car came in. He looked startled when he saw that I was awake.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hello,” he said softly.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Usually when I stop by, you are fast asleep.”

“Why am I here?”

“We can look after you better here.”

“What’s your name?”

“Joseph; what’s yours?”

“Can’t remember.”

“The doctor says that you didn’t hit your head so we are puzzled that you seem unable to remember anything.”

“I remember lots of things; it’s just that some things aren’t important enough to remember.”

“Your name is very important.”

“Only if you use it.”

“How long have you been living on the streets?”

“A long time; since I was a child.”

He looked at me for a long time without speaking and then he asked, “Do you need anything?”

“It hurts.”

“Where?”

“Where the pin goes through; the weight pulls on it and it gets sore around the edge.”

“What does the nurse do?”

“She puts some cream around it and then it hurts less.”

“Where is the cream?”

“In that drawer; the blue and white tube not the red and white tube; that’s toothpaste.”

He laughed as he fetched the cream.

“Shall I put some on?”

“I don’t know. She could get upset, I said, ‘let me do it’ and she said, ‘no, you have to be a nurse to do it’ ...”

“I’m confident she won’t mind if I do it.”

“Okay; be careful.”

“I will.”

He folded down the sheet to expose my legs. I was naked ‘cos it made it easier for bathing and changing the dressings, a gown just got in the way.

“Oh,” he said a little surprised.

“I don’t wear the gown. It gets in the way all the time and I get so hot.”

“I understand ... I should put on some gloves.”

“In the second drawer.”

He pulled on a pair of sterile gloves and very, very carefully applied a little of the cream to the pin site which got sore the most.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Will you tell her that you did it and it wasn’t me?”

“I don’t think she’d believe it was you; you can’t reach the drawers.”

“I guess; still, best if you say.”

“Okay I will ... did you ever go to school?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Do you know how old you are?”

“No.”

“Okay, enough questions; but you need a name; you could choose one.”

“I only know yours.”

“What if I bring a book of names and we choose one together?”

“Could we do that?”

“Yes, we can.”

“Okay ... when?”

“Tomorrow, just before lunch and we’ll have lunch together.”

“Do you smoke?”

“Yes; I shouldn’t but I do.”

“Could we have one now? The nurse says it’s not allowed but I really need one; she doesn’t smoke so she doesn’t know how bad it can get.”

He reached in his jacket pocket and brought forth a beautiful cigarette case which he opened, and he offered me one.

“Thank you.”

He took one too and he lit his and then he held out the lighter, a gold one, to light mine. I sucked and felt the warm, dry smoke fill my lungs.

“Better?” he asked, smiling.

“Like you can’t believe.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes then he asked, “How do you survive?”

“I’m good at finding things.”

He smiled to himself.

“When you are out of the traction machine, you can sit in the garden when it’s not too cold … or in the conservatory.”

“What do you do?” I asked because clearly he was very wealthy.

“I buy and sell shares.”

I must have looked blank.

“Like you, I’m good at finding things; things some people don’t want and then I sell them to other people who want them.”

I felt better for knowing that because it meant we had a sort of connection.

“Do you have a family?” I asked.

“Not really; I was an orphan and made my own way in the world.”

That was astounding to me, that he should have been able to get so much from having nothing. Clearly it meant he was very good at finding the things that people wanted.

“Who is the other man?”

“Jacob; he manages things for me when I don’t have time or if I’m away.”

“Are you going away soon?”

“No; in the Spring I shall take a holiday in the South of France.”

I must have looked blank again.

“It’s a different place, a long way from here … there’s a beach. I could show you in the atlas.”

Too many words I didn’t understand and it was tiring to have to think so much.

“I’m feeling sleepy now.”

“I’ll say goodnight and tomorrow we’ll have lunch and I’ll show you the name book.”

“Okay,” I said, “please tell the nurse I didn’t touch the cream and you smoked in here; she’ll be suspicious.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

He kissed me on the forehead; I don’t know why. He smelled of something nice; least it wasn’t bleach.

“Goodnight,” he said but I was already drifting off.

Chapter Two – In roads

The following day at noon, Joseph returned and the other man, Jacob, wheeled in a trolley upon which was our lunch. The nurse left. She’d been in a foul mood all morning and I think Joseph must have said something to her. She was sullen and quiet and didn’t answer me when I spoke. Jacob left us to it.

“It smells good.”

“An omelette.”

I didn’t say anything and I tried to look less blank. We ate and chatted about the nurse.

“I told her that I had put the cream on and I said you were allowed to smoke in here if you wished.”

“She was angry with me.”

“I don’t think so; angry with herself. She’d forgotten to give you the pill that helps you to sleep.”

“I don’t always need it and I don’t always want to fall asleep as soon as she’s gone,” I said.

“Then you should say that you don’t want it.”

I must have looked frightened at that.

“I think we need to change a few things … to make you more comfortable.”

I reflected on that. Didn’t you just get what you got?

“Did you bring the book?”

“Yes, I did. I’ll read a few out and if you like the sound of one, then we’ll write it down and when we have a list of the ones that you like, we’ll pick one of those ... So, Abraham, Alexander, Archibald ...”

“I like that one.”

He wrote it down and we continued this process for about fifteen minutes and there were four names on the list; ‘Archibald’, ‘Charles’, ‘Drake’ and ‘Edward’.

“We’ll do some more tomorrow. I brought the atlas so you can see where we are and where the South of France is ...”

He opened the big heavy atlas and found a page, placing the book on the tray that fitted over the bed, so that it didn’t touch my leg. He pointed out the tiny dot which he said was our home, his home.

“Serville; that is the name of this place ...”

I looked into his eyes, mine were full of wonder.

“Perhaps I’ll bring the globe so you can see the whole world as it is. It’s hard to see the world when it’s flat like this ... would you like a coffee and a cigarette?”

“Yes, please.”

He poured a small cup of the strong, rich, bitter fluid and handed it to me.

“May I have some sugar please?”

He dropped a cube in the cup and lit a cigarette for me, handing it to me, he said, “The doctor will come soon to check on you ... is there anything else you want?”

His voice was like the coffee but not bitter and not overly sweet, certainly rich and dark.

“A piece of paper and a pencil.”

“Oh; do you want to write something?”

“Draw something,” I said because I didn’t know how to write.

“I’ll ask Jacob to bring some up.”

I must have looked a little uneasy.

“He’s very kind; he doesn’t smile very much I agree.”

I smiled because it was as if he could read my thoughts.

“I need to do some work but I’ll see you later after the nurse has gone home.”

“Okay.”

He kissed me on the forehead again.

“Don’t worry about Jacob or the nurse; everything will be fine.”

He left and about half an hour later, Jacob came in with a pad of paper and a handful of pencils. He placed them on the tray.

“Thank you.”

“If you need anything, please ask.”

It was the first time I had heard his voice and it was deep and woody.

“The nurse has not been back and I need to relieve myself but she took the bottle away this morning and didn’t bring it back.”

“I’ll find her …”

He left and ten minutes later he returned with the bottle.

“Here,” he handed it to me.

“Where is she?”

“She left.”

“I didn’t mean to get her into trouble ... Joseph put the cream on and he offered me a cigarette and I took all the pills but she forgot and-”

“Shush,” he said very softly.

The tears were running down my face by now. They always do when I panic or get very upset.

“Use the bottle and I will empty it and bring it back.”

He turned and headed to the window so that he didn’t see as I relieved myself.

“Finished!”

He came back and took it from me, leaving, but returning in less than five minutes, placing the empty bottle within reach.

“Do you need to use the bed pan?”

“Not yet,” I said, “but at this time she usually cleans the pin sites and puts the cream on.”

“I can do that if you tell me where the things are.”

I told him where to find the gloves and the sterile swabs and the fluid which stung and the cream which helped to ease the pain. He sat on the edge of the bed and cleaned each site. He was gentler than she had been and eventually I unclenched my teeth and relaxed but I was sweating and the drops stood out on my forehead.

“What are you going to draw?” he asked as he finished up.

“I never know until I start; whatever comes into my head.”

He bathed my face and said, “Tomorrow there will be a new nurse, so for the rest of today, I will tend to you and if you press that button I will come.”

“Thank you.”

I dozed for an hour because it was exhausting trying to understand everything he said and what it meant and I was still worried about the nurse and even feared she might return to seek revenge on me. When I woke, I drank some water and smoked a cigarette before placing a sheet of the paper in front of me and then I just turned my eyes inward to see the picture which I would draw. I draw without seeing my hand grasp the pencil or watch as the lines appear on the paper. I draw with my eyes turned inward. Often I close them if the light outside is too bright. It takes barely ten minutes for the picture to be finished and I feel much better when it is done. The image recedes and I’m left with the inky blackness.

I had an urge to empty my bowel but I was a little afraid of asking Jacob to help me but I didn’t want to mess myself, it causes so much more work, so I pressed the bell.

Five minutes later, Jacob appeared.

“I need to use the bed pan; I’m sorry ...”

“Don’t apologise; how does it work best?”

“If I hoist myself up, slip it under me and when I’m done, I’ll hoist myself up again but you’ll have to wipe me because I need both hands to lift myself.”

He said nothing and just got the pan and the packet of wet wipes that were kept with it. I reached up and grabbed hold of the strap and lifted myself up. It wasn’t that I was heavy but the movement put pressure on several pin sites and made me gasp.

“Slip it under now,” I said with a degree of urgency.

I lowered myself so that my buttocks were on the rim of the pan.

“It may take a few minutes,” I said.

He sat and saw the picture on the tray.

“You drew this?” he asked with mild surprise.

“Yes,” I replied.

“May I show Joseph?”

“Of course you may.”

My bowels emptied and the sound and smell were always pretty overpowering and acutely embarrassing.

I just turned red.

“Finished?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said as I hoisted myself up again so he could remove the pan. He did and placed it on the floor out of the way and then he wiped me, placing the soiled wipes in a paper bag.

“All done,” he said and I lowered myself again and he left with the mess. He came back with the emptied bed pan.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Press the button if you need anything.”

He left with the picture to show Joseph and the thought of seeing him later and seeing the globe were very comforting. The nurse had turned the TV off at the plug so I couldn’t switch it on with the remote but I didn’t feel like calling Jacob back so I just lay and watched the shadows move across the room. I guess it was six or thereabouts when Joseph came in.

“Hello,” he said, smiling.

“Hello,” I replied. “Did she leave because of me?”

“No, not at all. She left because she didn’t want to look after you anymore … at least look after you how I see things.”

“The cigarettes and the cream and the pill ...”

“A new nurse is coming tomorrow with the doctor who is coming to check up on you. Jacob will bring dinner along shortly but I wanted to talk to you about the picture.”

“Did you like it?”

“Yes, it is very interesting.”

“Keep it if you like it.”

“Thank you; did you want to see the globe?”

“Yes, very much.”

He went outside and brought in a huge globe that sat on a heavy wooden frame which had wheels. He pushed it over so I could see it more clearly.”

“What is it exactly?” I asked.

“A picture, if you like, of the Earth. Imagine you could see the Earth from very high up, like from Space; it would look a little like this ...”

“It’s round.”

“That’s right, well, very nearly, like all of the planets in the Solar System.”

“All the ...” and I must have been frowning.

“Planets, the huge lumps of rock like the Earth that orbit around the Sun.”

“Like the moon.”

“Yes; Earth has a moon and the other Planets which are bigger also have moons, just bits of rock floating in Space around the Sun.”

Jacob brought in dinner on the trolley again.

“Will there be anything else, Sir? I have to go ...”

“No, that’s fine, Jacob. See you tomorrow.”

He left.

“Where is he going?” I asked, looking at the globe.

“To the airport to pick up a friend who is going to be staying with us for a while. Someone who might be able to help you to understand better the things that make you frown.”

He brushed the back of his hand across my brow very gently as he said this.

“I understand a lot of things,” I said proudly, “but many I don’t and even those I do, I sometimes wonder why it is important that we do or try.”

“Very wise words; so ... a pork chop and boiled potatoes with crème caramel for dessert.”

I just smiled broadly because that was the simplest way to indicate that I was happy and when I smiled, he smiled and I liked his smile.

He sat and drank his coffee and we smoked and he played a little music. I asked him to switch the TV back on but only so I could switch it on later with the remote control.

“Did you always draw such interesting pictures?”

“As far as I can remember; sometimes I drew them and someone would give me a little money for them.”

“Is there anything I need to do for you before I go?”

“I need to relieve myself. I can use the bottle but if you can empty it and put it back where I can reach it that would be fine.”

“Sure; now?”

“Yes.”

He got up and stepped to the window just as Jacob had done.

“Finished,” I said and he came back and took the bottle out and then returned with it empty, placing it on the table beside the bed where I could reach it.

“The doctor will be here tomorrow to look at your leg and he may suggest that soon we can fit the external fixator which means you can sit in the wheelchair ...”

“Okay,” I said smiling, but the word fixator was unfamiliar and slightly worrying.

“Did you get bathed today?”

“No, do I smell?”

“Not at all but would you like to wash to feel fresh?”

“I can wait until tomorrow when the new nurse comes; it’s okay.”

“Are you sure? Because I really don’t mind; I just want you to be happy.”

“I would like to wash my face and clean my teeth.”

He brought the bowl with the flannel and the soap and I washed my face. Then he brought the cup with fresh water and the toothbrush remembering which tube in the drawer contained the paste.

“Are the pin sites sore, do you need the cream?”

“No, they’re better. Jacob cleaned them more gently than she. I’m okay now.”

“Rest, sleep, I’ll check on you later. The new nurse will be here tomorrow and the doctor will call.”

“And your friend?”

“Yes; he’s going to be very interested in the picture as well ...”

“Goodnight,” I said, feeling the happiest I had felt since he’d knocked me over.

“Goodnight.”

I dropped off pretty quickly. I often feel more tired after drawing a picture than at other times but I was aware of a movement, very late. The air stirred but I couldn’t see anything. It could have been a dream.

Chapter Three – New arrivals

In the morning, I was awakened by Joseph, bringing me my breakfast tray.

“Good morning,” he said as he put it down.

“Good morning, Joseph.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you …”

“The new nurse is coming with the doctor. He can show them everything that they need to do and I will be here to make sure that the nurse understands what you need.”

“When is your friend coming?”

“At lunch time; I’ll introduce them to you this afternoon. Perhaps you could draw another picture.”

“Yes, I will!” I said quite excitedly.

“Enjoy your breakfast. Does your bed bottle need to be emptied?”

“No, I haven’t used it yet.”

“I’ll come back soon with the wash bowl and your toothbrush.”

I just smiled and dug into my toast and honey and the fresh black tea.

We attended to my ablutions and I still hadn’t used the bottle.

“If you’re embarrassed, I’ll leave the room,” Joseph offered.

“It’s just that…” how did I say that my ‘thing’ was hard and would not subside?

“I think I know what you want to say. It’s okay, it’s quite normal.”

“It doesn’t usually last so long.”

“It might be the drugs you’re taking to fight any infection caused by the pins through the bone.”

I thought about that for a moment.

“What will happen when I’m better and I can walk?”

“When you’re strong and you can walk, then we’ll decide. What would you like to do?”

It sounded like I had a choice; I did not really comprehend the idea of a choice. I went back, didn’t I?

“I’ll go back,” I said, but it sounded more like a question.

“You don’t have to. You could stay here or maybe in time get a place all to yourself.”

“You need money for that, I know that much,” I said confidently.

“If you were to sell your pictures then perhaps you would have enough.”

“I’d have to draw a lot of pictures.”

“Not if you sold them for what they are truly worth.”

What did he mean; what they were truly worth?

“I don’t know ...” I said, “How long do you think I’ll be here?”

“Getting better? Eight weeks said the doctor at the hospital but the doctor who is coming today will have a better idea.”

“If it is still hard when he comes, I don’t want him to see it like that.”

Joseph understood what I’d said within a second or two.

“I don’t think he’ll worry. He may be able to prescribe a different drug that does not have the same effect.”

“The nurse will see it.”

“The new nurse is a man called Nathan.”

“A man?!” I exclaimed.

“Yes, he is highly trained and helps people with broken bones; he will help you to get strong again.”

“I wish it would go away, the more I try to ignore it, the worse it gets.”

“Did you not relieve it in the past?”

“Relieve?”

“Help it to go down by rubbing it until your semen was expelled.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Okay; what did you do in the past when it was very hard and you felt very different to the way you normally feel, which we call ‘aroused’ ...?”

“I don’t think I had the feeling you are describing. I never touch it unless I need to go to the toilet.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know; why should I touch it?”

“It can give you great pleasure if you touch it in a certain way.”

“How?” I asked automatically.

The thoughts played out on Joseph’s brow very clearly.

“Now is probably not the time to show you, seeing as our guests will arrive soon.”

“But it won’t go down.”

“What if you drew a picture? Then your mind would be occupied.”

“Yes, I can try that.”

I put a piece of paper on the bed tray and picked up a sharp pencil. I turned my eyes inward and in fact I closed them. The picture was especially beautiful this morning and very complicated, the most intricate I had ever seen. I am never very sure how long it takes to draw the pictures, more than a few minutes, of that I am certain. There seemed to be depths to this picture which only emerged as I drew; hidden places in the shadow of a curve, mysterious faces reflected in crystal globes looking askance, what looked like leaves on the branch of a tree were in fact the markings on the skin of fierce beasts. I captured it all but it was more than usually tiring. I turned outward again.

“That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen; you drew the picture with your eyes closed.”

“I never watch the pencil on the paper; I have to look inward to see the picture.”

“Has the hardness gone?”

“Yes, and I need the bottle now,” I said triumphantly, albeit hurriedly.

I filled it and Joseph disposed of the contents.

“How long did it take?” I asked.

He looked at his watch.

“Thirty-five minutes; your hand moved so rapidly that at times it was just a blur.”

“This was the most difficult one so far.”

“We’ll show the friend who is coming; his name is Anthony.”

“May I rest now? It was very tiring, more tiring than usual.”

“Of course. I’ll bring the nurse and the doctor up in a little while, after you have rested.”

“Are they here?”

“Yes, I heard the car. It doesn’t matter, I have things I wish to discuss with them and I imagine they’ll take a coffee. We’ll be up soon … rest ...”

I slept for half an hour and then I heard the sound of voices outside the door.

“May we come in?” asked Joseph.

“Yes, I just woke up.”

Joseph came in with the doctor and the nurse and he introduced them to me. I just smiled because we hadn’t decided on my name yet so Joseph just said, “… and this is our patient.”

The doctor advanced to examine me.

“I’ll try to be gentle but you may feel me pull a little; just say if it hurts, okay?”

I nodded, already clenched and beads of sweat were developing on my brow. I held my breath and exhaled loudly each time he moved to a different spot.

“That’s fine, the bone is knitting perfectly. Another two weeks and we’ll put your leg in a special brace which will let you sit in the wheelchair ... the pin sites are very healthy but you should continue to take the drugs to fight any infection. Another week I’d say before we can reduce the dose; there is still the risk of infection getting into the marrow around the break site ... Do you have any questions?”

I was still recovering.

“When will I be able to walk again?” I asked.

“In about six weeks but, and it is one of the reasons that Nathan is here, special exercises can help to make you strong and heal more quickly. Your muscles are getting weak because you aren’t using them. He can help but still, it will be six weeks from today before you can put your foot on the ground.”

I guess I must have looked a little glum.

“The time will fly,” said Joseph, looking at me and smiling encouragingly.

“I’m going to show Nathan all the correct procedures for taking care of your leg now,” said the doctor.

Nathan stepped forward and smiled whilst holding out his hand to shake mine. I extended mine and he gripped mine quite firmly; his hand was incredibly warm.

“I’m Nathan,” he said, “I’m here to help you get better and stronger. If you need anything you just let me know and I’ll be here all the time, so don’t worry.”

The doctor showed him all the special procedures and he checked on the basics, running through the daily routine and checking the supplies in the drawers. Then the doctor sat by the bed and asked, “Is there anything you want to know, any questions, anything you’re unsure of?”

I couldn’t tell him about the problem I’d had that morning, not with Nathan and Joseph listening, so I said everything was okay and smiled.

He left with Joseph and I was left alone with Nathan.

“Joseph tells me that you’re allowed to smoke in here and you can put the painkilling cream on by yourself.”

“That’s right and I don’t always need to have my sleeping pill,” I said bravely.

“The other nurse didn’t stay here so it was more difficult for her but I’m staying in the next room so it’ll be easier for us both.”

“Soon I’ll have chosen my name with Joseph and then I can say hello properly,” I said.

“For now I’ll call you ‘buddy’ ...”

“Okay.”

“So, is there anything I can get for you? Otherwise, I’m gonna unpack my stuff and take a shower.”

“No, I’m fine; I have everything I need.”

“Great; see you in a little while and we’ll clean the pin sites and have a good wash. I want to check you for pressure sores.”

He left, but not through the same door as Joseph and the doctor, the other door which led into the room next door and I wondered why the other nurse hadn’t stayed but then maybe she had a husband who wanted his dinner on the table or kids.

Joseph hadn’t come back yet but I also heard more voices downstairs and I guessed that Jacob was back with the friend who was called Anthony.

I smoked a cigarette and watched the TV, a program on coral reefs and tropical fish. To be honest, I wasn’t listening to the commentary; the man spoke too fast. I just liked to watch the fish, the rainbow coloured fish, darting amongst the delicate fronds of the coral; it was very soothing. Nathan came back.

“Right, can I check you for sores?”

“Yes, okay ...”

He examined me very closely and nodded or shook his head repeatedly. He didn’t look into my eyes but worked intently.

“Okay, the backs of your heels are sore and I have something for those, your buttocks and shoulders need some relief but I can help ... Do you not wear a gown?”

“No, I get too hot.”

“Okay, no problem.”

He had some fabric, made from lamb’s wool he said, that he placed under my heels. The fabric was cut into cup-like shapes so that each piece fitted snuggly around my heel. The relief was instant. He had some other pieces which were square and flat and he placed some under my shoulder blades and under my buttocks, again there was some instant relief.

“You’re thin, it doesn’t help; the pads will stop you from getting bed sores.”

He wasn’t thin nor was he fat and wobbly but hard like a statue; his arms were bigger than my legs.

“Joseph said you lived on the streets,” he said as he cleaned the pin sites, and I was glad he wanted to talk because it distracted me from the pain.

“Yes,” I gasped, “for as long as I can remember.”

“Sorry ... how did you survive?”

“I’m good at finding things and sometimes people gave me things to eat and drink.”

“Do you know how old you are?”

“Not exactly; Joseph thinks I must be at least twenty because I have hair on my body... How old are you?”

“Twenty-five ... I agree with him, you look about twenty.”

There was a moment of silence as he moved the sheet to reveal the pin sites near the top of the leg.

“They hurt the most because they’re deep, they ache nearly all the time,” I said through the tears.

“Your thigh is rubbing against your scrotum and making it very red, I’ll put some salve on that,” he said absently. Of course I didn’t know what he meant by the word scrotum.

He reached for a tube of cream, one the other nurse hadn’t used at all and he spread a little onto his fingertips which he rubbed gently on the side of the scrotum and on the thigh.

“It’s cold but good,” I said, feeling relief for the first time and without warning, I grew hard.

“Oh,” I said with something like shame.

“It doesn’t matter; it shows that your body is healthy.”

“It wouldn’t go away this morning and I couldn’t use the bed bottle for ages.”

“That’s quite normal.”

His voice sounded reassuring.

“Does yours get hard like that?” I asked, now intrigued.

“Yes, every morning and at other times ... yours is very handsome,” he said quite plainly.

“What is yours like?” I asked.

“Not as long but fatter.”

This discussion did not seem to be helping to alleviate the symptom; on the contrary, it got harder.

“Yes, very handsome,” he repeated.

He finished cleaning the pin sites and putting salve on the sore places. As he lifted the edge of the sheet to re-position it across my body, his hand touched the painfully hard head and a bolt of electricity shot through my body. I jumped and all the pin sites screamed with the jolt.

“Sorry,” he said.

I breathed deeply and closed my eyes.

“It’s subsiding now,” he said.

“Can we wash later? I need to rest.”

“Yes, of course. Have a nap before lunch and I’ll tidy up and go and see Joseph.”

He left and I closed my eyes but the refuge of sleep did not come, nor did I see a picture, just a swirling red vortex like a tornado, not that I’d ever seen a tornado in real life. As fascinating as it was, it did not help me to rest, in fact, it made me tense.

I only relaxed when I saw Joseph and he brought lunch with the name book.

“How is Nathan?” he asked.

“He’s very kind.”

“Good; so, where did we get up to? Ah, yes, Edward ...”

He read out more of the names and we added ‘Frederick’, ‘Gregory’, ‘Harry’ and ‘Iain’.

“When will I see Anthony and Jacob?”

“Later, they are having lunch. Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

It was becoming our ritual, a coffee and a cigarette and some ‘discussion’.

“Anthony is here to help you to understand things better. Some of those things you would have learned at school, others they don’t teach in school but they are useful nevertheless. It might get quite tiring but try your best. He is very patient and very entertaining. He uses some unorthodox methods but it will be fun and then you’ll understand a lot more and things will begin to make sense.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. Remember it was I who knocked you over; this is my way of saying sorry.”

“It was icy, you didn’t have much chance. It wasn’t really your fault.”

He looked a little odd, maybe uncomfortable.

“Whether it was or not, I’m very sorry.”

I just smiled because explaining emotions was the hardest thing.

Nathan came back in and Joseph got up to leave.

“In about an hour I’ll bring Anthony up to meet you, okay?”

“Yes, okay.”

He left and Nathan got ready with the bed pan.

“It’s not a nice job,” I said and he just laughed.

I hoisted myself up and he slipped it under me like Jacob had. The sounds and the smell were no less bad and I asked him to open the window for a while. He cleaned me up but said, “Your anus is sore. I suspect the wet wipes are irritating the skin or because the skin is left a little damp it chaffs more easily. I’ll put some cream on it and we’ll make sure it is completely dry in the future.”

He rummaged in a drawer and brought out a new tube.

“Can you hoist yourself again?”

I strained and lifted myself up and he spread a little of the cream on my anus.

“Okay,” he said and I let myself down, “I’ll do your feet,” he added but I wasn’t sure what he planned to do.

“Fancy a little bit of luxury?” he asked with a smile.

I just nodded not knowing what a luxury was but obviously it wasn’t a bad thing. He bathed my feet and rubbed them with a stones to make them smooth.

‘Because you’re not walking or wearing anything on your feet, the hard old skin is dropping off; we’ll make them like new.”

He trimmed the nails and then he rubbed them just with his hands. The best bit was when he put his fingers between my splayed toes and pulled his fingers back and forth. That was ecstasy and I had to turn inward else I’m sure that the thing would never have gone down again.

“How was that?” he asked when he’d done and was rubbing some moisturiser over them.

“Excellent,” I said, trying out a new word to convey that it was both very good and I was very thankful.

Joseph came in.

“Are you ready for your guest?” he asked.

“Yes!” I beamed and Anthony walked in followed by Jacob with a big trolley on which were all sorts of things, some I recognised and some I didn’t.

“Hello, Jacob,” I said.

“Hello,” he said quite severely but I thought he might have been trying to suppress a smile too.

“This is Anthony,” Joseph said to me, “he’ll be your teacher.”

“Hello,” I said.

“Hello,” he replied, “it will be much easier once you’ve chosen your name.”

“Yes, I know. Nathan calls me Buddy, which I like.”

A look was exchanged between Joseph and Nathan, an odd look, like Nathan was inviting a question but Joseph didn’t or couldn’t ask it.

“Shall we begin?” Anthony asked.

“Yes,” I replied, wondering whether everyone would be staying for the lesson, having not a clue what he planned to teach me.

“I will see you later,” said Joseph and he left with Jacob, leaving the three of us in the room.

“Right; Nathan, help me with the big black blanket.”

Between them they spread a big thick soft blanket over the bed, me and themselves. It was pitch black.

“This is how it all began, with nothing; the Universe before it was born. Let’s just think about that.”

That was easy, I turned my eye inward and if there wasn’t a picture, all I saw was nothing; that I knew well. A light appeared from somewhere, it was in the palm of his hand, a small bright light and it got bigger and brighter and soon everything under the blanket was illuminated and we were all smiling.

“Okay, let’s see what happened next. Help me with the blanket, Nathan, and then step back.”

They removed the blanket and he stood in the middle of the room. He’d taken from the trolley a glass box in which there was some stuff. He lit a match and held the flame to the stuff.

“Mind your eyes because this will be very bright. The small light got bigger and bigger and brighter and brighter and ...” The stuff started to burn and then it got very bright, a searing white light.

“... then there was the biggest BANG,” and from somewhere there was a bang and the light leaped out of the box and then disappeared but left behind were thousands of bubbles floating in the room.

“After the bang all the ‘matter’ was floating and some of that ‘matter’ burned very hot,” and he held a candle up, “and the rocks floating around started to group together and some collided,” and he blew bubbles so that some knocked into each other and some formed bigger bubbles whilst others just disappeared, “our Universe is born and this is our sun,” he said, holding the candle, “and the bubbles around it are the planets and the moons ...”

I was transfixed and I think Nathan was mesmerized too. I looked at him and he at me and he just smiled in wonder like a child.

“Here is some of the stuff that the moon is made of,” said Anthony, and he showed us a phial which contained a grey dust, “and here is a piece of the Universe that has travelled many, many miles to get here,” and he held out an odd shaped rock that looked like it had partially melted, “and the Earth is one of those planets that circle around our Sun,” and he spun the Globe around which Joseph had left in the room.

I suddenly had seven million questions each burning like a star in the night sky.

He popped a video into the player and we watched a really cool cartoon that showed the creation of the Universe and the Solar System and it ended with a tour of the Earth and it looked like the globe in the room.

“WOW!” I cried as it finished.

“But remember, this is one theory, the scientific explanation for how it all began. Other people believe that God created the Universe and all things and other people believe other things. You will eventually decide for yourself how you think it all began.”

Jacob brought in the tea.

“Jacob, you should have seen it,” I said very excitedly.

He just smiled and poured the tea.

“Please stay for tea, Jacob,” I said.

We drank and I smoked a cigarette and we talked about a hundred things.

“What’s next?” I asked.

“The creation of living things.”

“Jacob, can you bring up the primordial soup.”

He left and returned with a glass container, like a saucepan but all glass, and inside the pan was a liquid, a dense and lurid green and brown evil smelling brew.

“This is the ‘soup’ made from all the stuff on the Earth that was needed to create life, chemicals ...” he said and the word sounded like an entire symphony was playing in my head, “elements ...”

He stirred the soup and something inside made a ‘plop’ sound.

“Heat and pressure and light and great earthquakes and volcanoes and water, all acting and reacting to create a single living thing.”

He pulled something out of the soup, a glowing green and yellowish blob that looked like jelly.

“Cells, organisms, bacteria ... and they grew and took on different shapes and adapted to their surroundings and eventually, after a very, very long time, animals that we might recognise today started to ‘evolve’ ...”

He dragged out of a bag a huge collection of animals made of plastic; dinosaurs and birds and fish and snakes and apes and cats and horses and then he held up a plastic figure of a man.

“Man arrived, evolving from the apes and he is intelligent and more adaptable and learns how to live on this Earth; foraging, hunting, gathering wild things, sowing seeds ...”

“Please stop,” I cried, “I can’t take this all into my mind; I have so many questions ...”

“Enough for today I think,” Anthony said.

I felt like the car had hit me again. Anthony and Jacob cleared some things away and Nathan got the water ready for the bed bath. Every few seconds, I had a question but it was ill-formed and incomplete on my tongue and I just stuttered. Anthony came to my bedside.

“Tomorrow I will explain things more slowly and try to answer your questions. Just don’t think too much; just see it in your mind like the pictures that you draw.”

He left and Nathan and I were alone.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Frightened; there is so much to learn, I’ll never remember it all.”

“You don’t have to; some of it is just like the paper that you draw your pictures on.”

That sounded better.

“I bit the inside of my mouth when the soup thing made that plop,” I admitted, pressing a finger against my left cheek.

“I’ll put some gel on it or you’ll get an ulcer.”

He fetched a dry swab and the mouth gel.

“Open for me.”

I opened my mouth wide and he gripped my left cheek between his fingers firmly and pulled gently, applying the swab to dry the inside of my mouth on that side, then he squeezed a pea sized amount of the gel on his fingertip and he rubbed it over the bite site.

“Tastes funny, uh?” he said as he saw my face begin to screw up. “There, don’t lick it too much for a while,” as he withdrew his finger. “You look tired … take a nap.”

“I am a little tired now.”

He leaned over and kissed me very gently on the lips, with no more pressure than if a feather had landed there and then he went to his room, leaving me with the thought that the Universe had just been re-created on my lips. Where there had been nothing, now there was heat and pressure. Despite the hard thing, I went to sleep and dreamed of oozy soups and crawling things that turned into people.

I woke up feeling calmer and minutes later, Jacob wheeled in dinner.

“Is Joseph coming?” I asked.

“Maybe later; he has many things to discuss with Anthony.”

“Oh, we won’t choose any more names today then,” stated a little sadly.

“I can read them out like he does,” Jacob said.

“Oh yes!”

“Where did you get to?”

“Iain …”

He read out the names and we added ‘Joseph’, ‘Jacob’, ‘Kyle’, ‘Luke’, ‘Martin’ and ‘Nathan’.

“Which one do you like best so far?”

“Archibald,” I said, “but not Archibald but Archie; Nathan has a friend called Archie.”

“I’ll put a mark beside it to show that it is the current ‘favourite’ and eat up, you’re looking thin still.”

“I was always thin.”

“Joseph will be happy when you look more like Nathan, with some flesh on you.”

I smiled at the thought of looking more like Nathan.

“If Joseph is busy, will you stay and drink a coffee and smoke with me?” I asked.

“If you want me to.”

I liked Jacob more and more. He smiled more now and over coffee he told me about his life before he met Joseph.

“You travelled a lot. I should like to travel, go all the way around the Globe.”

“Best you rest and get strong and do some learning then.”

He left with the trolley and Nathan came in.

“Did you eat by yourself?” I asked.

“No, I ate with Joseph and Anthony tonight.”

“You don’t have to stay with me, I’m fine,” I said.

“Would you like me to read to you?”

“What?”

“A story ...”

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll start and if you like it, I’ll carry on.”

“Okay.”

“It’s called ‘Oliver Twist’ and it was written by a man called ‘Charles Dickens’ ...”

Nathan read the first few pages and I was lost. So many unfamiliar words and the sentences didn’t make sense and yet it was like music. You don’t have to be able to read music to appreciate music. He stopped after the first chapter.

“It’s one of Joseph’s favourite stories.”

“He’s an orphan like me,” I said jubilantly for having remembered.

“Yes he is, as are Jacob, Anthony and I.”

That struck me as a hammer blow.

“You are all orphans?”

“Yes.”

“And I am an orphan and you are and you’ve done all these things and Jacob has travelled and Anthony knows so much and Joseph has this house and-”

“Proving that just because you start with nothing, it does not mean you will always have nothing. In fact, you can have whatever you want, you just have to want it badly enough.”

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Freedom and choices …”

It had been a very tiring day. So many new things bombarded my brain from every direction and every day promised to be the same. Anthony had left a tape for me to listen to as I slept, so Nathan rigged it up and after a kiss goodnight, he turned off the light and left me with my eyes closed, listening to the tape through the headphones so that I didn’t disturb him in the next room.

I ‘slept’ but it was nothing like I had experienced before; there was a voice, a man’s voice, inside my head telling me things, explaining things but it was like there was no break, one continuous stream of sound, a beautiful sound. Many of the things that Anthony told me during the day, most if not all of which I had failed to understand, started to make a kind of sense.

I was awakened again by the stirring of the air; it was very late I guessed. There was no one there, just the stirring of the air and maybe the echo of the clunk of a door closing farther down the hall.

Chapter Four – Anatomy

After breakfast with Nathan, Anthony showed up and we started to re-examine the things from the previous day but he used a lot of charts and slowly I understood. He had samples of many of the elements; strange rocks, crystals, phials of sand, gas and metals. He never stopped talking, science, physics, natural laws, evolution, weather and the nature of things. At coffee time, Joseph came up and we all had our anatomy lesson.

“You’ve broken your leg so let’s have a look at that,” Anthony said and he wheeled in from outside the room a skeleton on a stand, “meet Boris,” he said and we all laughed.

He showed us the different bones and showed me where mine was broken although I could have shown him. He lifted the bones and told us to lift our limbs in the same way, explaining how muscles and tendons worked.

“Nathan, would you get undressed please?” he asked.

Nathan undressed to his briefs and Anthony did the same thing again; lifting Boris’s arm and Nathan lifted his arm so you could see which muscles worked which bones. It was fascinating. He flipped a switch and trails of light appeared over the surface of the skeleton showing us the main veins and how the blood travelled; denser clusters of lights indicated where the main organs were but that was confusing so we watched a video that showed it better.

He pricked his finger and smeared the blood on a piece of glass which he put under a strange machine that allowed us to see the very small objects that made the blood … and they moved!

All of this was accompanied by a stream of words and phrases and questions and seemingly unrelated expressions.

“Are you tired now?”

“A little, could I rest for half an hour please?”

“Of course,” and they all, except for Nathan, disappeared for coffee downstairs.

He was still wearing just his briefs, having been called upon for demonstration after demonstration.

“Will I get muscles like you?” I asked as he packed some of the things away.

“Once we can get working, when you’re out of the traction machine.”

“Jacob said that Joseph will be happy when I have some flesh on my bones and I look more like you than like a stick.”

He laughed.

“I used to be thin like you; so all is not lost!”

He came over to check on the sores and clean the pin sites.

“You don’t have as much hair on your body as me,” I commented.

“I’m still young but I don’t think I will get too much; some men don’t whereas some men get hairy like the ape we saw yesterday.”

“Perhaps they are closer related,” I jested, making a joke but not understanding how I had made the joke. Nathan laughed heartily.

He cleaned the sites and checked the sores, putting more salve on my thigh and scrotum to stop the skin getting chaffed. My thing got hard immediately.

“Again!” I cried, “It took an hour this morning before it went down.”

“You can relieve it.”

“Joseph said that but he hasn’t had time to show me; he said it would also give me pleasure.”

“I can show you.”

“If by doing this it will stay down for longer then please show me,” I begged.

“I will show you using mine; that will be easier to start with, then you can copy.”

“Okay,” I said like when Anthony asked if we wanted to see a fossil or a lump of calcite.

He dropped his briefs and stood naked by my bed. His thing was fatter than mine but not as long; it was already swelling.

“Did you make it grow like that?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I thought of something I like very much.”

“What?”

“Kissing.”

His thing grew to its full length and then he gripped it just beneath the bulgy part with his hand and moved his hand up and down quite quickly.

“It might take a few minutes.”

“What happens?”

“A fluid appears, the fluid which combines with an egg to make a baby like we saw on the TV.”

“And once this fluid appears the thing will go down?”

“Yes; I call it my cock or dick, technically it is called a penis; you call it what you like.”

“Penis; that sounds weird, dick sounds like the name of someone, so I’ll call it cock.”

Obviously my questions were driving Nathan onto new heights and he started to move his hand faster and a red patch appeared around his neck and on his chest, his breathing was quite ragged and he closed his eyes. His other hand was playing with one of his nipples.

“It’s nearly there; watch the end very closely.”

He attained top speed and then stopped moving his hand and a huge stream of fluid was ejected accompanied by his strangulated howl.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he said once he had calmed down.

I watched with fascination, fear and the burning desire which I did not yet recognise, also a hundred questions. His cock also calmed down and shrank to normal size within a few minutes.

“And that’s how you do it.”

“Did it give you great pleasure?”

“Yes, but I prefer it when someone else does it for me, and better still if ... no, it’s too soon for all that, let’s stick with the hand job.”

“I’ll try later; they’ll be back very soon.”

“Don’t say anything; I wasn’t meant to show you just yet.”

“I won’t; thank you for showing me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Maybe I’ll like it if someone else does it more than if I do it myself.”

“We’ll try both and then you can decide,” he said and I detected a grin but he was keeping it back.

The others came back and we covered genes and DNA and how one person has blue eyes and another brown and I laughed heartily when Anthony suggested that we shared about thirty percent of our DNA with the common daffodil.

Lunch was served and we all ate together and after I had chosen some more names with Joseph, Anthony alone stayed so he could watch me draw one of my pictures. Half an hour later, he was just as astounded as Joseph.

“Your hand moved so fast and you didn’t look once,” he exclaimed, “Have you seen the pictures of Escher?”

“No ... least I don’t think so.”

“Joseph has a book with many of them, I will show you. Your style is very similar but yours are much, much more intricate and the detail is phenomenal. May I show Joseph this one?”

“Of course you may; keep it, I can always draw another. I never want to keep them once I’ve drawn them.”

He left and Nathan came back for the afternoon programme of care which included having my nails cut and buffed for the very first time, although I had to admit to biting them.”

“Don’t bite them, they are so much nicer when they are a little longer,” he said.

His were perfect, short and neat and buffed to a lustre.

“Your hair is getting very long, would you like to have it cut?” he asked.

“No,” I said emphatically.

He frowned a little.

“Why?”

“I like it long,” was all I would say. No one touched my hair. I alone touched my hair and for the time being, it was pulled back and wrapped in a bandana because I couldn’t wash it and that was something I was so looking forward to once I was out of the traction machine and in the chair.

“Shall I read some more of the story?”

“Oh yes!”

He read another chapter and then he looked through the name book and we added a few more to the list; ‘Pierre’, ‘Roland’, ‘Sebastian’ and ‘Thomas’.

“There aren’t too many left,” I said, “then we can choose one.”

“Do you still like Archie the best?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like to play a game, a game of chess?”

“Show me!”

And this was becoming my preferred response and was received much better than ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I don’t understand’. He set up a board and told me the names of the pieces and how they moved and then we played a game to get used to it; which of course he won but it didn’t count. That consumed another hour and then Anthony came back to show me the book of Escher prints that belonged to Joseph.

“You see how the style is similar?”

“Yes, but he repeats patterns endlessly, whereas mine are all unique albeit interconnected. He prefers to draw with a pencil too.”

“Can you draw anything outside of your mind in the same way as I would or Nathan would?”

“No, I tried and it doesn’t work, almost as if my hand refuses to do it.”

“Okay; can you conjure up different pictures in your mind or are they always chosen for you?”

“I do not choose them; they arrive like guests for dinner and I draw what I see.”

He smiled.

“You are developing some interesting expressions and manners of speech. I think it is the tape you listen to at night.”

“I don’t really listen to it because I’m asleep.”

“It seeps into your subconscious. I have a new one for tonight.”

“What will we learn tomorrow?”

“All about numbers.”

“I understand them less than I understand words.”

“That will improve.”

“I hope my game improves so I can thrash Nathan at chess,” the words almost did not belong to me.

“He is very good so when you can beat him, I will be very impressed.”

Everyone left me alone to have dinner with Joseph.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better; I like Anthony and I played chess with Nathan this afternoon.”

“And you drew a stunning picture. All the pictures you draw here I am having mounted and put into frames.”

“Why are you looking after me?” I asked.

“Because the accident was my fault; I owe you a debt of compensation.”

“But you could have paid someone else to look after me in the hospital. So why did you move me here and why are you helping me so much?”

“Do you want to go back to the hospital; are you unhappy here?”

“No, no, no!” I cried, beginning to panic, thinking he thought I didn’t want to stay, and the tears sprang from my eyes.

“Shush, it’s fine. I understand why you might be confused. I would ask the same question. It is all to do with paying your debts. I hit you and I owe you a debt. To see you fully recovered and if I can help you, then that is my way of saying sorry, for I am very sorry and you have endured much pain on the account of my carelessness ... that is why.”

I quietened and thought about his words and all the while he held my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb which was very soothing.

“I like it here; I don’t want to go back to the hospital but there will surely come a time when the debt is discharged.”

“That won’t be for a very long time and then we’ll decide what’s best. Jacob says you want to travel and that is a very good idea.”

We drank a coffee and smoked a cigarette together and then he got up to leave.

“Don’t worry about anything. We are all here to help you and make you well. I hear tomorrow we shall learn about numbers. I’m good with numbers so I’ll help too; sleep well ...”

“Goodnight,” I said, smiling at last, feeling relaxed again.

Nathan came back for the last couple of hours before bed time.

“Do you want to listen to some music?” he asked.

“Yes, something quiet without words.”

He chose a piece by Vivaldi and we listened as the darkness grew outside.

“Don’t you want to meet other people?” I asked, “You’re stuck here all the time; aren’t you bored?”

“No, I like being here with you.”

“Damn!” I exclaimed.

“What?”

“It’s getting hard again and I just felt like I wanted to sleep; now I shall be awake for another hour.”

“Try to relieve it like I did.”

He pulled back the sheet to reveal the swelling cock and when it had attained full size, he showed me where to grip it.

“Now move your hand up and down like I did, slowly at first.”

I did and almost immediately felt a strong urge to move it faster.

“Slowly, fight the urge, prolong the pleasure,” he murmured.

As I did, my head was filled with an amazing array of images, almost all of them of him standing in just his briefs as Anthony had explained muscles and tendons. My breathing came in short gasps and my neck and upper torso took on the same pink hue as his had done; the urge got stronger.

“Change hands,” he said and the urge abated for a while and it felt very different but eventually returned to the same fever pitch.

“Shall I help you?” he said.

“Yes, my arm is aching.”

I relinquished my grip and he took over, keeping a slower and steady rhythm at first. It felt like the pleasure was growing like a tree out of the thing itself; I had to close my eyes.

“Tell me when the urge gets the strongest,” he said.

He beat the same rhythm but gripped tighter and then he changed hands but it didn’t make any difference to me. The feeling built and built and the tree took on branches and the branches took on twigs and the twigs sprouted leaves and just as the blossom on the tree was about to open, I felt a current deep within my body and something was rising.

“I think it’s coming,” I gasped.

He beat the same tempo and then they started, the contractions, forcing the liquid up and out.

“It comes!” I screamed in my throat, barely making a noise.

After that I did not know what happened but I felt hot liquid hit my body, my stomach and chest and some hit the pillow.

He released me and I felt deflated but infused with the most beautiful feeling I had ever had. Eventually, I opened my eyes but only because Nathan was mopping up the spillage which was everywhere.

“That’s how it is done and you see ... your cock is going down.”

“I don’t think I’ll do that in front of anyone except you.”

“Probably for now we’ll keep it to ourselves.”

“You said you preferred it if someone did it for you but my arm isn’t strong enough yet.”

“I’ll wait,” he said with a voice like the black velvet blanket that Anthony had covered us all with during the first lesson.

“How often do you do it?” I asked, now intrigued.

“Every day, when I wake up and sometimes just before I go to sleep; it helps me to drift off.”

“Is yours hard now?”

“No, but it wouldn’t take much, having seen yours.”

“Is that one of the things you like to think about, like kissing?”

“Yes ...”

“You gripped me very tightly but it didn’t hurt.”

“Sometimes I grip it less tightly and I can last for an hour, other times I grip it very tightly and it will last only a few minutes; it depends how I feel.”

“Can I touch yours?”

“Sure, it doesn’t feel much different to your own.”

He stood closer and dropped his work trousers and briefs; it was growing very slowly. I reached out and touched it with my fingertips and it bucked.

“Sorry.”

“It didn’t hurt; I like that.”

I touched it again and it sprang up a bit and didn’t subside this time.

“You’re getting hard; will you do it?”

“It is called ‘masturbating’ or ‘wanking’, I will masturbate or I will wank myself off is how we describe what we are doing ... yes, I will, hold it and squeeze gently.”

I did as he asked and it grew a lot in a short space of time.

“Now move your hand like I did, just slowly.”

I gripped him and moved my hand but my angle was wrong so it felt awkward although he started groaning.

“Yes,” he said and he was biting his bottom lip with his eyes closed. His hands were just resting on the edge of the bed until he moved one and reached out to touch me. When he reached my cock and I felt the pressure of his touch, it was like a flame had burned me and it excited him and he had to grip himself because I could not move my hand quickly enough. He continued to fondle me and wank himself off until he produced the fluid. He rolled his hand over the head to catch the majority of it in his palm, then he slumped somewhat and opened his eyes.

“Do you want to taste it?” he asked.

“Can I?” I replied.

“Yes, lick my palm, taste it, it is strong and bitter but some people like the taste.”

He held out his palm and I tentatively poked out my tongue to taste it with just the tip. I could smell it; it was very strong, like cough mixture. The tip of my tongue made contact and the taste was no less strong than the smell and I was intrigued by it. The slimy, opal white fluid looked a bit like the soup of the previous morning’s lesson; I shuddered.

“It is very strong,” I said, licking my lip where there was a trace.

“I think it is time for bed, once you’ve cleaned your teeth. You have a new tape to play from Anthony.”

I cleaned my teeth and I wasn’t unhappy to replace the bitter taste of the fluid with the fresh taste of mint, then I settled down and plugged in.

“Goodnight, Nathan.”

“Goodnight,” he said and he leaned over and kissed me very gently on the lips again.

Very soon thereafter, I was drifting off to the silky voice of the tape and descending gently to the place that the voice described.

Chapter Five – Numbers and kisses

Nathan woke me because I was so deep in sleep and it was later than usual, at least nine o’clock.

“Wake up, sleepy head,” he said and he kissed me on the lips again.

“Why is it so late?”

“Anthony says it’s the tape ... he won’t be back until lunchtime. He thinks you need a little more rest, so take your time and I’ll fetch the breakfast tray. Joseph and Jacob have gone out so it’s just us three for the time being ...”

I gathered my senses and waited for the tray, impatiently, because I was very thirsty and extremely hungry, uncommonly so.

“I’m very thirsty and hungry today ...”

“You’re healing quickly and it takes a lot of energy.”

I ate ravenously and downed two cups of tea before the pangs subsided and I could enjoy a coffee.

“Anthony would like you to draw another picture today, quite soon in fact. He would like to see if listening to the tape in the evening influences what you see the next day.”

I got ready and then I drew the picture as requested. It took longer, an hour, and the result was more astounding for it. It appeared to me, having seen more of them than anyone else, that the picture was many pictures, subtly linked together into a tapestry, distinct themes that joined together to form a larger whole, it was different for that but stylistically the same as ever.

“We’ll show Anthony later. So, what now?”

“Why do you kiss me on the lips?”

“I like it, the way it feels, the way it makes me feel; I feel very close to you, emotionally ...”

“Do you kiss other people?”

“I have, yes, in the past.”

“Did they kiss you?”

“Yes, we kissed each other. How does it feel when I kiss you?”

“Special, like when you touch me, something happens inside, something wakes up.”

“Kisses are different; a friend might kiss you on the cheek to say hello or goodbye, a lover might kiss you to say I love you ...”

“What are your kisses for?”

That floored him for a minute.

“They are something of both but more than that it says ‘I want to be close to you’ ...”

“Why?”

“I am attracted to you; I like you very much.”

“My lips tingle when you have kissed them. I feel the pressure of your lips long after you have removed them.”

He was silent and we moved on to the care programme without any words. By eleven, I was clean and fresh and between us, we’d changed the bed. But hoisting myself so he could remove and replace the sheet and other sundry exertions were always costly.

“I need stronger arms,” I complained, “they were always thin, good for slipping into pockets but very little else.”

“Did you steal to survive?”

“Frequently.”

That seemed to come as a surprise although I wasn’t sure why it should have, given the circumstances.

“We can work on your arms, we should, and they need to be strong to wheel the chair.”

“How?”

He stepped forward and held out his arm, straight out with his palm presented to me.

“Place your palm on mine,” he said.

I did and he pushed so that my arm was bent.

“Now push my arm back.”

I did easily.

“That won’t make them strong.”

“Again,” he ordered as he pushed my arm back.

I pushed and he resisted a little and so this continued until I was hard-pressed to make any progress.

“Good; stop for a moment. You don’t want to hurt yourself and sitting like that is not the best position. Let’s try the other arm.”

We worked that one too, to the same point where I couldn’t push back. It was exhilarating.

“They may ache later, I’ll massage them. We’ll do that exercise every day after breakfast.”

I smiled at him, for it felt deep down that he really cared for me and I had so few ways that I could show how thankful I was.

“What?” he asked.

“Thank you,” was all I could manage before I felt the tears start to run down my cheeks.

“Shush; there, there,” he said, and he came to my side and held my head, kissing away the tears from my lids.

He kissed each of my eyes in turn and then he moved to my lips. His were wet with my tears and tasted salty; then, very slowly, he ran the tip of his tongue along my lips. Not that I decided to do it consciously, but I opened my lips slightly and he ran his tongue along between them. He did it again and deeper so that I could feel his tongue graze over the edge of my teeth. Very tentatively, I pushed my tongue forward to touch his. The touch paper was lit and he delved deeper and I felt the urge to bite and suck his tongue and he seemed to crave it, so I did it more and then his tongue started to recede but I wanted it, so I followed his with mine and then mine was in his mouth and he was biting and sucking mine and like a wave, the urge receded as it broke on the shore and we pulled away a little, just enough to see that our eyes were aflame. We kissed again and for longer and thrust deeper and bit harder and sucked until it became painful. We broke off fighting for breath.

“Nathan,” I sighed, for there were no words to describe it.

His mouth returned to mine but gently and he nibbled at my lips more than kissed; it made me smile and him too. Whilst he kissed, his hand sank down between us and then I felt his fingers on my cock, which of course was very hard by now. Without warning, and I’m sure if he had said what he was going to do I would have been less happy, he bent down and put it in his mouth and sucked. There was a moment when I had the urge to pull it out, a kind of primeval fear, but the heat and the sucking and the feelings that rose up overcame that fear and I abandoned myself to it, incapable after a few seconds of doing anything else.

He gripped the base with his hand and sucked the head. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, but perhaps instinctively, I laid them on his shoulders at first but soon there was a feeling, an urge to thrust my hips, which was not easily accomplished being in traction but I achieved some kind of movement and I held his head, wishing to thrust my cock into his throat even though I had never thought about that before. Quickly thereafter the contractions started and I didn’t have the voice to tell Nathan it was on its way so I resigned myself to the thought, not an unhappy one, that I would shoot my fluid into his mouth and pretty soon after, I did. In truth, I think he was expecting it and in fact wanted it, for he sucked harder as I released.

It was an involuntary action but at that point my eyes turned inward and I saw a picture which burned like acid on the surface of my inner canvas; he and I, embracing within a wheel of fire, a multi-coloured fire. My limbs were strong like his and his hair was long like mine.

He must have withdrawn because I felt the coolness of the air on my cock head, I looked outward and he was gazing at me, smiling broadly.

“Better?”

I couldn’t speak so he kissed me again and I tasted the dregs of the bitter fluid on his tongue but I didn’t mind the taste so much this time. He left me to recover and he went to his room. I drew the picture and it was unlike any other I had drawn. I was not surprised, and actually grateful, that he took it to his room once he’d seen it because I didn’t want the others to see it. I knew if they did that they would know something had happened and this is what Nathan thought too, I guessed. Something got decided in that moment, a pact was forged but it wasn’t clear to what ends; it mattered not for now.

Anthony joined us for lunch and we started the lesson on numbers; counting and weighing things and measuring things, like his height and Nathan’s height, and simple addition and subtraction and money and time and dates and an endless string of digits just appeared before my eyes. I realised that I couldn’t actually take everything in if I tried to concentrate on every little piece and much in the same way as you don’t watch a movie by examining every frame, I just let the lesson happen in front of me. It flowed in, unimpeded by the need to comprehend everything. The tape I listened to each evening seemed to sort everything out later, like a busy librarian working through my brain, filing everything neatly.

At four, I crashed with the numbers burning my ears as he chanted the multiplication table from one to twelve.

“You need to work harder,” he said harshly. Nathan was surprised by his tone just as much as I.

“Why?” I asked, garnering my confidence from the fact that not knowing any of these things had never stopped me from surviving.

“It’s important,” he said without the need to give a further explanation.

“I’m tired and you’re shouting, please go away,” I said.

He must have realised it then and apologised.

“I’m sorry; I get very enthusiastic about teaching.”

“Please go away and I don’t want to listen to a tape tonight.”

“Enough, Anthony; later,” said Nathan and my tutor left with a scowl on his face.

“His methods are unorthodox but he was pushing a little too hard today ...”

“I’m beginning not to like him,” I said.

“He is trying to help. These things will assist you in the future, to make a better life for yourself.”

“I wasn’t complaining before Joseph knocked me over,” I said hotly.

“He knocked you over?”

I recounted the story.

“Ah; things begin to make sense; he’s trying to say sorry.”

“I’m grateful he took me away from the hospital because they left me in my own mess for two days ...”

“Just relax, getting stressed will not help you to heal. Smoke a cigarette and watch the video you like with the tropical fish. I’ll go and speak to him.”

He left and I did just that, watched the programme and smoked a cigarette. After which, I think I dozed for an hour or so. It was around six o’clock when Joseph walked in.

“Hello,” he said.

I smiled.

“Hello.”

“Nathan told me everything, please don’t be angry. Anthony is very sorry and I expect he’ll come and say so later. I brought you a present ...”

He handed me a package, smartly wrapped.

“Why?” I asked as I looked alternately from him to the parcel.

“Because you are working so incredibly hard. I don’t think Anthony remembers that you didn’t know any of this before you came. Open it ...”

I did and inside was a very fine artist’s sketch pad and the paper was very thick and the cover was made of leather with gold corners.

“It’s beautiful,” I said through tears of joy.

“A great artist should have the best materials.”

“Thank you.”

“Shall I call for dinner and we can finally choose your name together?”

“Yes, yes!”

Jacob brought in the trolley and he smiled broadly but said nothing and then we finished looking through the book and from the twenty or so names that appeared on the list, we whittled them down to ‘Archie’, ‘Edward’ and ‘William’.

“Which one do you like best?” I asked.

“I like them all; it’s for you to decide ...”

“Archie, definitely Archie ...”

“Then Archie it is.”

“But what about the other name you are supposed to have?”

“A surname? You can have mine seeing as I am looking after you.”

“What is your surname?”

“Finspar.”

“Archie Finspar.”

“It is a good name and I shall ask Jacob to bake us a cake so that tomorrow we can celebrate and adopt the day as your birthday.”

“Really?”

“Yes; everyone has a name and a birthday, even if they don’t understand algebra!”

We drank a coffee and smoked a cigarette as usual.

“Anthony said you have declined to listen to the tape this evening; would you change your mind if I asked you to?”

“If Anthony apologises then I will listen to the tape,” I said, which sounded like a decent bargain.

“I’ll ask him to come up. Nathan says you’re working on your exercises now, which is very good ...”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be as strong as him but I have to be able to wheel the chair by myself.”

“Exactly right ... So, I’ll send up Anthony, we’ll all be together tomorrow and you have your party ... goodnight, Archie.”

I grinned.

“Goodnight, Joseph.”

He kissed me on the forehead and I recognised it as a kiss that a friend gives another.

Fifteen minutes later, Anthony arrived and he apologised very sweetly and left the tape; he didn’t kiss me at all.

“Would you ask Jacob to come up please?” I asked him as he left, and five minutes later, Jacob arrived.

“What is it, Archie?” he asked.

“Joseph said you would make me a cake for tomorrow but I forgot to tell him that I don’t like walnuts.”

“Then it’s a good thing you told me. I like your name, it suits you,” he said.

“Thanks.”

Nathan came back from having dinner downstairs.

“So ... Archie?”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes; like I said, I have a friend called Archie.”

“Anthony apologised so I said I would listen to the tape.”

“Probably best. Where did that come from?” he asked, pointing at the sketch pad.

“Joseph gave it to me. I think it’s a kind of birthday present; we’re having cake tomorrow.”

“Yes, I know ... quite a day. Your protest over the lesson caused a little bit of a stir downstairs.”

“I try very hard. It isn’t easy when I don’t even understand half of the words he uses.”

“He knows that. I think we’ll see a change in the pace from tomorrow.”

“Good; it’s not like this is a race or anything. If Joseph can’t afford to pay him, then he could just leave the books and we could work through them together slowly.”

“I don’t think it’s that. Shall we play chess before you go to sleep?”

“Yes, okay. You can show me how to do that thing with the castle and the king again.”

We played and I lasted longer but he still beat me in the end, but it wasn’t a quick or simple victory.

“Well done; you’re improving a lot.”

I grinned.

“Time for bed?” he asked, putting everything away and getting the tape.

“Not quite,” I said, and he turned, expecting me, I suppose, to say I needed the bed bottle or a glass of water.

“What?”

“A kiss.”

He smiled and sauntered over.

“I wouldn’t have forgotten.”

We kissed very long and like the chess, I got better. We called it a draw but I could taste the victory ahead.

Chapter Six – My Christening and Birthday

Literally before I opened my eyes, I drew the picture that I knew Anthony wanted every morning now. Like the previous morning, it was far more intricate and detailed than anything I had produced in the past. I turned my sight outward only to realise that it was quite early, in fact, still pretty dark outside. I lay and listened to the wind howling around the corner of the house. My calendar said it was the 29th February. It was my birthday and christening in one.

Nathan came in first and he was surprised to find me awake.

“Couldn’t you sleep?”

“I woke up early. I’ve already done the picture ...”

“Do you want tea? I was just going to make one and take it back to bed.”

“Sure, thanks.”

He came back with the tea and put it on the tray, stealing a kiss as he did so.

“It’s a big day for you today,” he said.

“Yes, it’s exciting in a way; almost no one gets to choose their name and their birthday.”

“It’s a special day because today is the 29th; it’s a date that only occurs once every four years.”

“Why?”

“Ask Anthony, he can explain it better but this year is a ‘leap’ year, so we get an extra day, the 29th ...”

“So I’ll only be able to celebrate my birthday once every four years?”

“Yeah, but it’ll be a hell of a party!”

We chuckled at that.

“Go and drink your tea in peace; you hardly get any time to yourself.”

“I don’t mind; I like being with you … it feels good.”

“Did you feel this way with someone else before?”

“Yes, a few.”

“Were they like me?”

“No, very different; in fact, one was a girl but the other was a boy.”

I had a hundred thoughts simultaneously and they played out on my brow evidently.

“I used to like girls but I realised that I liked boys more.”

“But ... so ... I ... you ... then ...”

“It’s confusing sometimes ... some people prefer girls and others prefer boys.”

“Most of the people I saw in the streets were boys and girls together. Sometimes I would see two girls or two boys but not very often ...”

“Did you ever see any girls that you really liked?”

“Yeah, but they didn’t like me. I didn’t want to kiss them like you kiss me; I just wanted to be friends.”

“Did you see any boys that you really liked?”

“A few; I never kissed them or even spoke to them. Mostly I just avoided people altogether.”

“Unless you needed something.”

“Unless I needed something.”

“When you’re with the person you want to be with, it doesn’t matter what they are.”

“I want to be with you,” I said as earnestly as I knew how.

“And I want to be with you; which will make life very interesting when you can walk again.”

“Why?”

“Because there are things we can do, just like the kissing and the wanking but better.”

I thought about that.

“When I can walk again, things will change.”

“Best we do those exercises then, to make you strong.”

We did the arm exercises and he worked on the leg that wasn’t in traction. The muscles burned but it felt good to be working them.

“Excellent. Soon it will be easier once you’re in the chair and then you can go outside!”

“Is it still icy?”

“No, it’s getting warmer. Spring is only three weeks away.”

“I’ll be in the chair by then.”

The celebration was planned for the afternoon and the morning was spent with Anthony and the numbers. There was a moment when I made a mistake reciting my multiplication table; I think it was 18 x 19 and he shouted, “No!”

There was silence until I asked, “Anthony, how long did it take you to learn your tables, your twenty-times tables?”

He looked embarrassed.

“Much longer than one day and one night,” he said quietly.

I said nothing else and we proceeded but the atmosphere was tense the whole time until coffee time when Joseph came over and spoke to me privately.

“I think we will change the method of teaching.”

“I don’t know why all of this is so important. I agree that some of it is but I don’t understand why we have to hurry.”

“I will ask Anthony to leave if you are unhappy.”

“I draw him the picture every morning and he doesn’t even say thank you.”

I was getting hot and indignant by now. The curious thing was the confidence I was beginning to feel, which was like a seed growing in my chest and it wasn’t Anthony’s doing or Joseph’s, it was Nathan’s.

“What would you like to happen?” asked Joseph very calmly.

“I’d like to celebrate my birthday and have my naming ceremony without being shouted at for getting a stupid sum wrong that probably ninety percent of the population doesn’t know either.”

“Agreed,” he said, smiling.

Anthony came over; perhaps sensing his tenure was pretty precarious.

“I’m sorry and I know I said that before. You are making remarkable progress and I forget all too easily how little you had to start with, please forgive me.”

I looked him squarely in the eye.

“If you shout at me again I’m going to ask Joseph to dismiss you.”

He left the room momentarily. The rest of the morning and lunch went better, I didn’t make any more mistakes and everyone, but Joseph more so, breathed a sigh of relief.

“We’re meeting back up at three o’clock,” Joseph said, “to celebrate with Archie.”

Nathan remained to do the care stuff, clean the pin sites and dispose of the bed pan. Then we watched a programme on the TV about wild horses and modern day cowboys.

“I want to see those big open spaces,” I said.

“Yeah, me too, and ride a horse and camp by a river.”

“I said to Jacob I wanted to travel; Joseph said it was a good idea.”

“Then we should do it.”

“Just you and me?”

“Just you and me ...”

We kissed, it was how we kept the bond strong without really thinking about it. In fact, as naïve as it sounds, I thought I should be with him for the rest of my life, without question.

He tidied the room and we were ready at three o’clock and the others came back and Jacob brought in the cake on the trolley and there were candles, twenty-one of them. There were a couple of very smartly wrapped packages too.

“Today is a very special day,” began Joseph, “It is the day that Archie officially gets his name and celebrates his twenty-first birthday. I would like to congratulate him and give him my warmest and sincerest wishes.”

Everyone applauded and I blushed.

“Archie, here are two things which make your name legal in the eyes of the law and society, your birth certificate and your passport.”

He handed over both and I received them like he handed me gold bullion; how he got them I never did find out.

“Thank you, Joseph,” I said, with tears brimming.

“Now before your tears drown out the candles, you should blow them out and remember to make a wish but don’t tell us, else it won’t come true.”

Jacob moved the cake onto the tray so I could reach and have a fighting chance of blowing them all out. I huffed and puffed three times before the last one was extinguished.

“Did you make your wish?” asked Nathan.

“Yes, I did,” I replied.

Jacob cut the cake and handed everyone a piece which we had with tea.

“This is excellent cake, Jacob,” I said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, happy birthday.”

“There are some gifts,” said Joseph.

“I already had the sketch pad from you, Joseph,” I reminded him.

“Yes, you did but there are a couple of others, the first is from Nathan.”

He handed me a smallish package wrapped neatly and tied off with a gold ribbon. I unwrapped it to reveal a travel chess set.

“Thank you,” I said and we had a hug.

“This one is from Anthony,” said Joseph, handing me another smallish package, again neatly wrapped and tied off with a gold ribbon. I unwrapped it to find a beautiful set of pencils in a handsome case.

“Oh wow, they’re perfect,” I said and we also hugged.

“The last one is from Jacob, who also made the cake.”

He handed me the third identically wrapped package and I smiled at Jacob. It contained a beautifully tooled wallet in the finest leather. Inside there were various things; a perpetual calendar printed on a card, a list of international dialling codes and seemingly everything a wandering traveller would ever need. There was also a gold coin in the coin purse.

“It’s traditional,” he said with some embarrassment, for he hated to draw any attention to himself.

“Thank you so much,” and we hugged, least I hugged him. “Everyone, thank you, this is the very best first birthday anyone ever had.”

They cheered and clapped and Joseph handed everyone a glass of champagne.

“To Archie,” he said.

“To Archie,” the rest repeated.

It was now four o’clock and I was getting drowsy so everyone left me to have a nap before dinner, well, Nathan stayed.

“Well done; you’re legal.”

“And twenty-one!”

“Which means you can do anything you like.”

“The more I think about the wild country and the horses, the more I know that is where I want to go.”

“We’ll need money.”

“Joseph said my pictures were worth a lot of money but he didn’t say how much. But I’ve given them all away.”

“I have one and you could draw more like that, which we could sell.”

“I only see pictures like that when we ...”

“Make love ... that’s how we describe what we do together, the special things.”

“Let us make love then.”

“After dinner, when we won’t be disturbed.”

“Okay, shall we play chess?”

“I thought you were tired.”

“I am a little but not too tired.”

“Nap for half an hour and then we’ll play.”

I did and I gave him a run for his money and almost had him but he triumphed in the end.

“You’re getting very good; soon you’ll have to challenge Joseph and he’s a fine player.”

“Can we read some more?”

“You should read now and I’ll correct you as we go. It will be better practice.”

I read the third chapter of ‘Oliver Twist’ very slowly without making too many mistakes.

“Well done; it’s difficult text, written a very long time ago, and we don’t speak like that now.”

“I like the story; does it have a happy ending?”

“Yes and no, like all stories, like life really.”

“I hope our life is only happy.”

“Me too.”

We all had dinner together, a special feast, Joseph said, and we had wine. The others left us to have coffee and a smoke together.

“Thank you, Joseph, for all your kindness and your gifts.”

“It’s my pleasure. I only ever want to see you happy, which is why I am concerned about Anthony.”

“He said the next set of lessons were about society, culture, tradition, the law and politics. Perhaps they will be easier than numbers but what I really want to learn about is history and geography.”

“I’ll mention it; we’ll see how it goes. I would be very grateful if you would agree to listen to the tapes and draw his picture for him.”

“I will, for you.”

He kissed me on the forehead as usual.

“It was a very special day and I’m glad you had a good time, Archie. The future holds many wonderful things for you if you can be patient and concentrate on getting stronger and cleverer. I’m especially pleased with Nathan’s assistance, the exercises and the reading, particularly the chess and the care he provides.”

“I like him a lot … I like Jacob too but he’s shy and sometimes stern.”

“He likes you too. He finds it difficult to express his emotions. He had a difficult time when he was young, just like you.”

“Did you help him like you help me?”

“Yes, but he was older when we met.”

“How old is he?”

“Forty and we met when he was thirty.”

“How old are you?”

“Sixty this year.”

I must have looked astonished.

“I don’t look sixty, I’m lucky.”

“You look younger than Jacob!”

“Don’t tell him that.”

We laughed and he left and I felt very happy, even the thought of more lessons didn’t put a smudge on my horizon. Jacob came back and delivered the tape, Anthony stayed away.

“Goodnight, Jacob.”

“Goodnight, Archie.”

“Thank you for the gift; it’s perfect.”

“I’m glad you like it and I hope you get the chance very soon to use it.”

“Me too.”

Now that visiting hours were over, I could attend to other matters but Nathan was absent. He came back half an hour later.

“Did you go out?” I asked.

“Yes, briefly, I needed some fresh air.”

His tone was neutral but I bet myself that he had been doing something which he didn’t want anyone else to know about.

“Music?” he asked.

“Yes, some jazz!”

He was schooling me in musical taste along with everything else.

“Can we make love?” I asked a little later.

“What do you want to do?”

“Kiss like we did this morning and if we can manage it, I’d like to suck you like you sucked me.”

“If the bed was wider it would be easier. Still, if we take away the pillows so that you’re lying flat and you move your upper body to the edge and turn your head, you can probably just about reach.”

“Talking about it always makes me hard,” I grinned.

“And me, it’s the best turn on.”

“Turn on?”

“Getting aroused, to be turned on by something is to be aroused by that thing.”

He removed the pillows and I was lying flat. We shuffled me over so I was as near the edge of the bed as possible and then I turned my head. It just reached the edge, albeit it wasn’t the most comfortable position. He stood at the side of me and slowly dropped his trousers and briefs; his penis was already stiff.

“When you suck, try to cover your teeth with the inside of your mouth, pull your inner cheek in around it; it’s better.”

“Let me try,” I said, grinning.

He stepped forward and leaned over and the head of his cock moved closer. I could smell the scent of his soap and the bitterness of the fluid. I opened and he pushed in and I tried what he said and he murmured ‘yes’ so I guessed I had got it about right. I moved my tongue and he squirmed, resisting the urge to thrust like I had, then he moved very slowly in and out and I was hard-pressed to maintain the pressure of my cheeks around it, plus I had to swallow. Still, I was getting the hang of it.

“That is so good,” he said softly, thrusting himself further forward to get deeper in my mouth and I remembered that I had wanted to get in him as deep as possible. He approached the back of my tongue and I felt the urge to cough or gag so I pulled back.

“Sorry,” he said. He pushed again but less far but thrust more quickly. Soon we had a rhythm and I could breathe and swallow and maintain the pressure more easily and he seemed to be loving it. Just like I, he held my head to steady himself and make the thrusting easier, he was moving at quite a pace now and together we were making a slurping sound.

“Get ready, Archie, I’m close to releasing ...”

He slowed and then quickened his pace and the first bolt hit the back of my throat and I just swallowed, instinctively, neither did I taste it very much. However, subsequent bolts filled my mouth and the taste was overpowering and it was so incredibly exhilarating to have him in my mouth and to be taking his seed; he kept producing it and I kept swallowing it, then he stopped.

“Suck hard to get the last drops,” he said.

I sucked hard and the dregs oozed onto my tongue where they stayed. He collapsed over me and I could smell the fresh clean sweat on his chest. He moved back and sought out my lips and delved immediately, and detecting his own fluid there, he went wild for it. Eventually, he pulled back and I was glad because my neck was aching, not that I minded really.

“Oh boy, that was fantastic,” he said, smiling, though his eyes were nearly closed.

“I like the taste more and more.”

“I can’t wait until you’re out of that bed, if only to put you back in it.”

Which I didn’t understand and hoped he didn’t mean he might break something.

I was hard, harder than ever. He bent over me and took me without asking or being asked and he sucked very hard. His mouth was like his hand grip and he moved his head back and forth very quickly. It took my breath away as the rings of fire enveloped my cock and soon my whole body and I wasn’t entirely sure I had released but the slurping assured me that I had.

“I’ll show you a way to get the feeling without releasing; it’s so intense,” he said as he raised his head.

“Kiss me,” I pleaded.

He kissed and I demanded more and still more.

“Jesus I want to fuck you,” he gasped.

“Fuck?”

“Oh boy! The best is yet to come.”

“Tell me!”

“I don’t want to spoil the surprise; can’t you guess?”

I did not have a clue what he meant so I smiled and said, “Show me when I’m out of this machine ... I want to draw a picture; they are always so different after we have made love.”

He gave me the paper and the pencil and for the next thirty minutes, I turned inward and my hand flew across the page and the result was, well he described it as allegorical but that word meant nothing to me, all I could see were Gods in the throes of their passions that ignited a Universe; the Big Bang, he called it and like before he took it to his room.

Chapter Seven – The chair and liberty

I’d waited three weeks in the end before I could get in the chair. All that time, I studied hard and drew a picture every day for Anthony and one for Nathan … which meant we had been very busy ourselves. I played chess but you know, I hated the thought of beating him, so I ‘lost’ every game but it took more skill to lose than to win. I never wanted him to suspect that I threw the game; I convinced him he was the superior tactician. I think he believed me and he said that if I did beat him, I should challenge Joseph and I didn’t want to play against him, it felt, weirdly, disloyal. I challenged and thrashed Anthony all the time but I saw that as payback for the horrendous amount of work he gave me and the dreadful tapes I had to listen to every evening.

I worked on my body with Nathan, pulling and pushing mainly. Combined with a decent diet, I started to look more like him than the twig I had started out as and Joseph was very pleased but no one was more pleased than me as Nathan rubbed his hands over me, massaging my burning muscles and sore tendons.

The doctor came, the one who came before, and he fitted the external fixator and between the assembled men, I was lifted into the chair for the first time and my world changed because I was, at last, mobile!

It wasn’t easy because my leg was still thrust out straight and it made manoeuvring extremely difficult and I couldn’t go down the stairs obviously. We needed to re-think my accommodation and then Joseph asked me if I would like to move into the annex. It was self-contained and all on one level, already adapted for the chair because a very old ‘friend’ had stayed there. I agreed but only if Nathan could move in too. I still needed a lot of help and it was to be a further three weeks before I could put my foot on the ground and use crutches.

So we moved and we celebrated our independence that night in a way I could never have imagined.

There was a hoist over the bed which didn’t rely on me having to use my arms. The straps fitted to the edge of the seat of the chair and when it was released from the frame, I could raise, swing and lower myself onto the bed via an electric motor. It saved Nathan from having to lift me all of the time. The seat was made from leather and very sturdy and when I was on the bed and flat, Nathan could slide the thick leather pad from underneath me to make it more comfortable to sleep. Now that the weights were not continually pulling me, I could sit up straight and with a leg brace even sit on the edge of the bed with one leg hanging over the edge and one supported by the brace. All this made me very happy and such simple tasks were then so easy and I felt so much more independent. I was used to surviving, not being mollycoddled.

Nathan came back from the main house that evening after eating with the others because I wasn’t very hungry and just had soup. He had a glint in his eye and a wicked smile was playing around the corners of his mouth.

“What?” I asked.

“There is something we can try now and I wonder if you are ready for it?”

“What?”

“You know we saw how a man and a woman made a baby?”

“Yes ...”

“Two men can do something very similar; of course no baby results from this, just the most mind numbing pleasure that you can imagine.”

I couldn’t imagine any pleasure greater than I had already had with Nathan.

“But a man inserts his penis into the woman’s vagina where he releases his seed to combine with her egg to make the baby; I have no vagina, unless I missed that on the tape.”

He laughed so much he cried.

“Oh my God, to be as innocent as you and have this thing to discover for the first time all over again.”

“You have done this thing?”

“Yes, with a woman and a man.”

“If I do not have a vagina where do you put your penis?”

He looked at me with almost disbelief.

“In your anus ...”

I looked at him, first very dubiously and then quizzically, and then the questions started to form.

“In there?”

“Yes!”

“Are you sure you’re meant to put things in?”

“Quite sure.”

“What if something needs to come out at the same time?”

“We wait until after you have emptied your bowel, then it’s usually okay.”

“Won’t your penis get very-?”

“I wear a condom; you remember the part on the video about contraceptives?”

“Yes, I see how that would protect it from getting ‘dirty’ ...”

“Do you want to try?”

“And you say this will be the most pleasure I could possibly experience?”

“Without doubt.”

“What are you waiting for?”

He laughed again until he cried but he also got incredibly hard.

“It can be painful at first but I will lubricate my cock and that will help.”

“But I’m sitting on it, so how will you get in?”

“I’ll hoist you up by putting the straps under your arms and once your behind is off of the bed, I will slide under you and let you back down.”

“What will you do then?”

“Thrust my cock in and out just like when I put it into your mouth.”

“Jesus!”

“So?”

“Are we going to be disturbed anymore tonight?”

“No, Jacob and Joseph have gone out for the evening and they are not expected back until lunchtime tomorrow and Anthony is preparing tomorrow’s lesson and you know he never comes over.”

“Shall we start straightaway then?”

“It’s customary to kiss first.”

My eyes lit up because our kisses were like our chess these days, intricately woven moves played on many levels.

“Then kiss me,” I demanded.

We kissed into check-mate on both sides and it was far from stale. He put the condom on his raging ‘hard-on’ as he called it and spread it with a thin lubricant.

“Are you ready? If it really hurts say stop.”

I was nervous because it was going to hurt, even a little but my threshold for pain was pretty high. It surely couldn’t be worse than having pins drilled through your leg!

“I’m ready.”

He hoisted me up with the straps under my arms so my rear was raised up off the bed and it wasn’t too uncomfortable being suspended like a bit of meat on a hook. He slide underneath me and positioned himself loosely, then he let the hoist down very slowly until my anus was directly over his penis in its rainproof jacket.

“I’ll lower a little more but I’ll give myself room to thrust up.”

He lowered a few more inches and as he did so, our ‘parts’ made contact and because my weight was driving me down, he slipped in without any resistance and I guess he entered me by about two inches before he stopped the descent of the hoist. I was breathing hard because although it hadn’t hurt like being operated on, the sensations were totally unfamiliar.

“Okay?” he asked because he couldn’t see my face.

“Slowly … but it feels amazing …”

He thrust the smallest amount, just to ease me open and to make the longer thrusts that much less painful. I gasped as nerves caused pleasure explosions to erupt throughout my lower body. Almost immediately, I wanted him to thrust deeper and I want to squirm on it, the pleasure was heightened for all the immobility on my side and the control on his.

“Deeper, Nat’!” I pleaded and he complied and he was banging away against my buttocks with his pelvis, hammering out a steady rhythm and every so often he would slow and then quicken. I couldn’t get enough, I couldn’t envelope it completely, there were no edges, just a vast rippling sea of pleasure in which I was drowning.

“Jesus I’m cumming!” he cried and pounded more. He let out a not so quiet scream and bucked three or four, maybe five times as he released his seed.

He collapsed beneath me and all the time he remained hard. He remained two or so inches inside me though I felt the urge to expel him, but I resisted that and let the hoist down so that I was sitting on his cock to the hilt, pinning him to the bed. I felt him shrink and the urge to push him out was becoming automatic so I hoisted myself up to release him and he popped out together with a farting sound as the air escaped. He slid back out from underneath me eventually and I lowered myself, realising my arms were dead now but I didn’t care. Nathan had made love to me for the first time and as first times go, it was pretty fucking awesome. My language was becoming a lot cruder like his during our love making; it turned him on to hear it.

The bed in the annex was a double so he could stretch out beside me and caress me. He wanked me off as I was painfully hard and my scream was no less loud or agonised; we teetered on the edge between pleasure and pain.

He spent the night by my side, his skin never left mine. I never wanted to feel my skin cool; I always wanted the heat and the pressure of his touch, so much so, that my very heart ached with the emotions.

At dawn, he sucked me off again and as he knelt by my head and leaned over, I did the same to him; it kind of consummated our union. The picture I drew for him that morning was starkly different to the others, a near photographic quality sketch of the two us kissing. Just as starkly, the picture for Anthony was of a bare tree, a tree in winter. The quality of the drawing was no less than before and he was very much taken with the patterns in the bark. But the lack of detail, where there had always been so much, troubled him I think; it bothered me not a single jot.

Joseph and Jacob returned and we proceeded as normal for another week, lessons and tapes and pictures and making love and growing confidence in our declarations. It was getting almost impossible to hide our feelings for each other from the others.

We spent a week revisiting everything we’d covered so far, which was interminably boring but necessary Anthony said. At least I didn’t have to listen to the tapes again!

At the end of those two weeks, two things happened which changed our lives forever. The first was my trying out with the crutches. The fixator came off and I had a half cast to support my leg. Jesus did that feel weird but for the first time in weeks, I could actually stand up and walk. Putting weight on just one leg was enough; thankfully the exercises we had done had prepared me for it. I toured the terrace which surrounded the house. It was one turn in the morning and one turn in the afternoon and Spring was at last upon us and the garden was bursting with new life; much like me.

The second event was no less dramatic, in fact, more so.

Chapter Eight – Time to leave

I was confident with the crutches and pretty fast. Nathan told me off for pushing myself because I risked falling over all the time and then I’d be back at square one.

Anthony gave me the last tape.

“It’s the last and the most important so please don’t forget to listen to it tonight,” he said very seriously.

Well I hadn’t forgotten to listen to any of the others so his reminder was both needless and irksome. Only the thought that it was the last one kept me from grinding it under the heel of the crutch that afternoon.

I put it on the Welsh dresser in the kitchen come dining area and then promptly forgot about it. I exercised and Joseph accompanied me for ‘a tour of the estate’ as he called it.

“You’re looking so fit and strong now,” he said, smiling and evidently very pleased.

“I am, thanks to everyone; perhaps soon we could take a spin in the car?”

“If you’d like; where did you want to go?”

“Anywhere!”

He laughed.

“Soon I shall take my trip to the South of France. I’m debating if I should go at all, and if I do, whether I should take you. But it is a very tiring journey and it won’t be much fun for you, being cooped up there like here ...”

“How long will you go for?”

“A month.”

“Will Jacob go with you?”

“Yes, of course. Anthony will leave soon and that means you’d be left here with Nathan.”

I was going to blurt out that it would be okay but I stopped just in time.

“Nathan can look after me and a month is not the longest time but I would miss you,” I said and I would, and he felt it I’m sure.

“I would miss you too.”

“Tomorrow, after breakfast, it’s the last day of lessons.”

“Hooray!” I shouted.

“Has it been very difficult?”

“No, not all of the time. Of course I feel more confident and able to cope. Some of what I know I still question, not that I shall purposefully try to forget any of it but if I don’t use algebra then I’m sure I’ll get pretty rusty quite quickly ...”

“I know that feeling,” he said and patted my hand.

So that is how it was left, after breakfast the following day the decision would be made. Anthony was leaving in any event and then it was going to be a case of heading to St. Tropez or staying at home. If Nathan came with us, I didn’t much care for the outcome. Joseph hadn’t said if he planned to keep Nathan on for much longer. If he didn’t then I was sure that I would follow Nathan rather than Joseph. I didn’t owe Joseph anything, whereas I loved Nathan.

That night our love making was especially amorous and protracted; perhaps we both felt the need and the threat of a possible separation. Afterwards I said, “If Joseph plans to take me but not you then I shall decline and stay with you but we’d have to leave here.”

“Yes, I know, and I have a flat where we can live but I’m dreaming of the wide open spaces, the wild horses and the cowboys ...”

“Soon I won’t need the cast and I could travel.”

“I’ve got all of the pictures that you have drawn of us; we can sell them. I have a friend and I’ve shown them to him. He is convinced we can sell them for a lot of money.”

“Perhaps I should ask for the pictures back that I drew for Anthony.”

“Weren’t they a sort of gift?”

“Perhaps they were. I don’t see why he should profit from them though; he got paid well if what you heard was half the truth.”

“Yes, I agree. Leave that for a moment.”

There was a knock at the door and Nathan answered it. It was Jacob.

“Jacob!” I cried, for I hadn’t seen that much of him and I demanded a hug and for the first time, he returned it.

“Archie ... Nathan ... listen to what I am going to say very carefully, don’t say a word and don’t ask any questions.”

His voice was strange, like he was speaking a language he wasn’t familiar with.

“Do not listen to the tape that Anthony gave you today. I can’t explain the reason very easily, at least not yet, just don’t listen to it.”

He stopped to check our comprehension and I just shook and nodded my head alternately.

“Good. Tonight, Nathan, pack up your stuff and Archie’s few things. Please do not forget his birth certificate or his passport or the wallet. Leave the pencil box behind ... have your bags packed and be ready to leave at dawn ...”

He stopped again and I just looked imploringly into his face but he couldn’t explain, though the effort was costing him much grief.

“Be ready to leave and when I call in the morning, there can be no delay so be waiting at dawn. Do not listen to the tape and leave the pencil box behind ... is that all clear?”

We both nodded furiously and he left.

“Shit!” I whispered.

“Something is wrong, very wrong and I think Jacob is helping us to avoid something so we’d best do as he says. Where’s the tape?”

“Uhm, on the dresser and the pencil box is in the dresser drawer; I haven’t even opened it yet.”

Nathan put the tape in the drawer and closed it firmly.

“Now let’s pack.”

I didn’t have anything, no real things. I only had borrowed clothes, and few of those, which I wore when I went outside.

“Don’t worry, I have enough for us both. Sounds like it would better to travel light. You’ll have enough to manage with the cast and the crutches, so perhaps we should be grateful.”

Nathan packed and filled his smart suitcase which he left by the door and the essentials plus my few things, he put in his rucksack.

“I’ll be ready at dawn,” he said, “I don’t imagine I’ll fall asleep now!”

“Me neither. I just kept thinking about what he said. He must be acting without Joseph’s knowledge because it is inconceivable that he wouldn’t say goodbye if he knew we were leaving; and leaving at dawn before the others are awake?”

“Yes, a flit, which suggests we are in danger and my only question is, why is Jacob helping us when he is so loyal to Joseph?”

“Perhaps Joseph doesn’t know what is going on and Jacob thinks it is better that he remains in the dark.”

“Then I fear for Joseph more than I fear for us.”

“Where do you think he’ll take us?”

“I don’t know but perhaps we should ask him to take us to the airport.”

“I’m afraid.”

“We have to trust Jacob.”

“If we go to the airport we won’t have time to sell the pictures before we leave and I don’t have any money.”

“I have some but you have the gold coin that Jacob gave you. Isn’t it odd that he gave you that gift?”

“Like he knew all along?”

“Or something.”

We stopped questioning ourselves and rested; sleep was not an option. For the largest part of the wait, we just lay together trying to keep relaxed. For my part, it was easier knowing we would be together; the danger was no less for it but I felt stronger.

The hour before dawn, we got ready and checked everything. Then we waited and it wasn’t long before there was a tap on the door and Jacob was standing there.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” we replied and we left the annex and, with some silent cursing, I got into the car, stretched out along the back seat. Nathan sat in the front. We left and I cried because I hadn’t seen Joseph to say goodbye.

“Where do you want me to take you?” asked Jacob.

“Uhm, right; we thought you had the plan … the airport,” said Nathan.

“You need to get away from Anthony and the farther the better.”

“What about you?” I asked, “Aren’t you in danger too?”

“If I wasn’t, I am now, so I’m not going back.”

“What about Joseph?”

“He is more than capable of looking after himself,” Jacob replied, and there was an undercurrent of real fear in that tone.

We drove and within an hour we were at the airport.

“Jacob, come with us,” I begged.

“I am tempted but I wonder if splitting up wouldn’t be the best thing for now. I’ll say that I’ll meet you; don’t worry, I’ll find you. But if you never see me again, don’t worry, it might be for the best.”

We left the car in the car park and he left the keys in the ignition.

“I’m trusting it is stolen within the next thirty minutes; that will cover our trail for the while but not for long.”

We entered the main hall and approached the ticket desks.

“I’ll leave you here. Take this, Archie, you’ll know why.”

He handed me a smart leather portfolio. It was stuffed full of the pictures I had drawn for Anthony. Nathan put it in his rucksack.

“Thank you,” I said, not really sure what to say next.

“I’ll find you, don’t worry; just go!”

We hugged and he kissed me on the cheek, part friend and part lover.

He grabbed a flight to Geneva and was hurried through security because the flight had already been called.

Nathan approached the desk.

“Two tickets to Houston, please.”

“Certainly, sir ...”

He paid with his credit card.

“Just enough but we have the coin and the pictures.”

We had time, about an hour before our flight. We went through security and thank goodness Nathan could prove that he was a nurse else they weren’t going to let me travel alone. We shopped for a few things for the flight and finally we were called.

“I hope we see Jacob again,” I said.

“Yeah, me too.”

We boarded and were upgraded to first class due to the fact that I couldn’t easily sit with the leg brace.

“Nice result, buddy.”

“I like it when you say that.”

Once in the air, we knew we couldn’t be harmed or stopped so we both relaxed and for my part, I just wanted to sleep now.

“Let’s play one game of chess and then you can doze,” he said.

I thrashed him.

“Go to sleep,” he said brusquely with a grin on his face.

“I had a very good teacher,” I said as I pulled the blanket up under my chin and turned my eyes inward where, for the next six hours, I feasted on the picture of us laying naked under a star filled sky.

Epilogue and the end of part one

Camping was not an option for me, least not for a while, so we hired a car and bedded down in a motel just outside of Houston. Nathan took the coin into the city and when he returned he was quiet and looked shocked.

“What happened; was there a problem?”

He still said nothing and just sat down on the chair by the desk under the window.

“I hope we do meet Jacob again.”

“Why, was it a forgery?” I asked.

He turned and smiled.

“No, it wasn’t a forgery ...” and he took an envelope out of his jacket pocket and handed it to me. I took it from him and opened it.

“Jesus Christ! How much is in here?”

“Ten thousand dollars.”

“Fucking Hell!”

Clearly Jacob knew something and he’d acted to protect us. But the gift had been given to me weeks before we left so either he’d known something all along or he was uncommonly generous, and both were probably just as true.

We stayed a few weeks. I needed to get stronger if going out into the wide open spaces was a realistic option. I worked out and only the thought of lying naked under the star filled sky kept me going at times. No, Nathan kept me going; he never shouted and he never said I’d done too little even when I’d done too little. During that time, he headed into the city to check out the prospects of selling the pictures. I was uneasy about it because they were very personal but more than that, I never actually thought of them as good enough. When I’d sold any in the past, it had been to someone on the street and most of the time, I considered it to have been an act of charity on their part.

“There’s a dealer and he’s interested in staging an exhibition but you’d need to go along, to kind of authenticate them. He bought one for a thousand dollars as an act of good faith.”

“A thousand dollars!” I cried.

“Oh yeah and he didn’t have a problem, believe you me.”

“I don’t know about an exhibition. Weren’t we trying to keep a low profile?”

“We were, not that we know why.”

“I know; we live in shadows yet we can’t name our fear, except what we surmise from the way Jacob acted. I wish he had said something. The thing about the tape is the most intriguing. It can only mean that Anthony was trying to somehow brainwash me or plant something in my head … but why?”

“Or what? The last tape must have been the one. Nothing bad has happened, so maybe the rest were genuine ... like those language tapes you can use when you’re asleep. Perhaps he was just getting you ready for the ‘wham’ ...”

“But why me?”

“Because you were close to Joseph.”

“Joseph employed him. If Anthony was a danger to me or us then why didn’t Jacob act sooner? Or maybe Anthony was somehow controlling them both.”

“And Jacob broke free?”

“Seems that way. No, Jacob found something out, hence the need for haste at the end. But he gave you the gift weeks before, like he knew. Perhaps he just wasn’t sure.”

“I wish we knew what happened … I wish he’d come.”

“He will if he can. So ... the exhibition?”

“Not yet; I feel the need to move on. I’m stronger now and the thousand dollars will pay for the kit we need.”

“Okay, there is no urgency and I hate to see them go; they mean a lot to me too. Not necessarily the ones you drew for Anthony.”

“Which one did you sell?”

“The tree.”

“The least detailed and one of the last. You know what, ask the dealer how much he’d give for all the ones that I drew for him, keep the ones I drew for you.”

“Okay, I will tomorrow and I’ll get the kit. I agree we need to move on. Maybe Jacob is looking for us out there in the wide open spaces.”

Nathan went back to the dealer and sold all of the ones I had drawn for Anthony. I was pleased to be rid of them. The thirty thousand dollars was a meaningless number in many ways but essential to our survival. We kitted out, good quality and sturdy gear that would last a few seasons. Our only remaining question, transport?

“Buy an SUV and dump the hire car back,” I suggested.

“How will we get insurance?”

“Do we care?” I offered.

“It sounds like we’re planning to go off grid.”

“We are, at least until we know there is no danger or we know what danger we face.”

We agreed to dump the hire car but we drove it back to Lake Charles and handed it in there at the airport. As luck would have it, someone in the car park was selling their pick-up, a reasonable Ford F150, nothing flash or expensive. Nathan bought it and as soon as he had the all-important pink slip, we were off. Getting as far away as possible from where we dropped off the car, and Houston, seemed good policy. We drove for days, putting a few hundred miles between us and our last verifiable whereabouts.

I just hoped Jacob wasn’t trying to follow that trail because now he’d have lost sight of us. We headed north, undecided about heading into Santa Fe but more certain about heading towards the Comanche National Grasslands.

“We’ll know when we’re there,” I said, “it’ll feel right.”

Nathan drove and we headed for the grasslands and the chance to get lost in the canyons for a while. We struck lucky and found a private campsite and found the owner to be none too fussy and largely absent. Something like peace descended on our fire.

“Not too many cowboys here,” I noted.

“No, are you disappointed?”

“No, all I ever wanted was to be with you.”

We sat and talked until the fire died and we crawled into our tent and the luxury of a double sleeping bag.

“If he’s looking, Jacob will probably never find us,” I said.

“Nor anyone else and maybe that is how it should be.”

“And the questions?”

“Perhaps we should just forget about them. We’re here and the future is ours.”

“Won’t we always wonder?” I asked.

“For a while, then it will just fade. Maybe Anthony was trying to plant some kind of mind control in your head. Maybe he controls Joseph and-or Jacob; perhaps we don’t want to know.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to Joseph and I’ll be sorry if I don’t see Jacob again but I won’t be as sorry if that means that I can live out the rest of my life with you, wherever we go, in peace.”

“I’m sorry I ever taught you how to play chess!”

Mended

The sequel to ‘Broken’

By

Alp Mortal

Text Copyright© 2014 Alp Mortal

All Rights Reserved

Note on part 2

I’m dedicating this part of the story, 'Mended', to the nobility of fighting for a just cause.

All paths travelled be safe

Alp

Energy follows intention

Chapter One – A horse, a horse …

Our sojourn at the campsite lasted longer, much longer, than we planned but there was little point in moving until we knew where we were heading. Off grid gave us some peace of mind but the chances of Jacob finding us were very remote. The campsite owner was none too bothered, even when it was obvious that our visas must have run out. We paid our fees and he didn’t ask any questions.

In exercising our freedom, we did one of the things that we had both dreamed about. We went horse riding and it was fucking awesome; so much so that we bought the horses. Our camp resembled those scenes in the movies; two horses tethered and a camp fire, two guys leaning back on their saddles, drinking coffee from a can.

I’d got much stronger and the breaks were becoming a distant memory and only the scars, where the pins had been fixed through the bone, a reminder of any kind. No, Nathan was a constant reminder, a good one, the best one. Living as we did, our money was holding up and we still had most of the thirty thousand dollars which we had sold the pictures for in Houston. I really wish we hadn’t sold Jacob’s coin but we didn’t know what was going to happen then. Then as now, I cherished the wallet he gave me for my ‘twenty-first’ birthday; my first birthday on 29th February, six or so months ago.

I was organising the contents which was something I did often to remind myself of him and the entire episode that led us to leave Joseph’s at dawn to avoid some kind of danger and to remove ourselves from Anthony’s clutches. Jesus, I wish we knew that Jacob was safe.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Nathan.

“Jacob and where he is; I pray he is safe. I wonder if he ever tried to find us … is trying to find us ...”

“Do you want to leave and find him?”

“I don’t know; really, I don’t. I’d spend the rest of my life with you here, gladly. I just wish we knew that he was safe and to a degree why we had to leave but ... I’m happy ... what about you?”

“I guess I wonder less, but of course I do think about him and the whole ‘dawn flit’ thing and what the fuck Anthony was up to ... I’m happy – happier - than at any time I can remember ...”

“I love you, Nathan.”

“I love you too, Archie.”

“It’s warm tonight and the sky is clear ...”

“And?” a smile lighting up his face.

“I just wondered ...” a smile lighting up mine.

“Playing chess under the stars; how romantic.”

“It’s warm tonight and the sky is clear ...”

“Yes, it is ...” and his voice was like heavy incense, rich and smoky; it had the ‘sound’ of warm and fresh earth, if such a thing has a sound.

“Please hold me.”

And before the words had died, he was with me, sitting astride me as I sat propped up against the saddle. He was blocking the fire and it created an aura around him; an angel in an aura of red light. It reminded me of one of the pictures I’d drawn of us. He bent down and with his fingertips under my chin, he lifted my face to meet his lips. He stopped just before they touched.

“I love you.”

And he kissed me before I could respond so I kissed back my reply as articulately as possible! He had both his hands in my hair, which I never cut; our tongues danced like snakes. I had to break off.

“Jesus!” I gasped.

He didn’t say anything and started to undo the buttons of my shirt. Where the skin was revealed he kissed, hot kisses, like tongues of fire. His hands pushed the shirt from my shoulders and I slipped my arms out of the sleeves. Once released, I slipped my arms around his torso, remembering the first time I saw him standing in the bedroom come school room at Joseph’s in just his underwear whilst Anthony explained anatomy, knowing nothing of love then. I kissed his chest, the superb chest that in the shadow was like the mountains but it yielded and the skin was soft not hard like the flinty shale.

“Nathan,” I breathed out.

He moved back a little and kissed down my chest and moved further to keep on going down, across my abdomen to the waistband of the jeans that were belted with a heavy leather belt which had a huge brass buckle fashioned like a horse’s head. Only when his hands were on it, did he look into my eyes; his were smouldering.

“I need you.”

I responded by reaching for his hand and after I’d kissed his fingertips, I sucked the fingers, one by one. They tasted of the oil that we treated the saddles with, kind of like olive oil only stronger. With one hand, he started to undo the belt. I stopped my sucking to help out. I needed him just as much as he needed me. Within a minute, we’d shed the boots, the jeans and underwear and then crashed like a tree onto the rugs we had laid out, wrapped in each other and the kiss was like poetry. The kiss was how our love had started; they drove us wild and nuclear war could’ve broken out around us and we’d be none the wiser. We had our own fusion going on very nicely!

“Lean over the saddle,” he demanded.

I crawled over and leaned over it, kneeling behind it with the back edge pressing into my stomach and I spread my legs and pushed my arse up, resting my hands on the seat.

“Fuck, Archie!” he cried, frantic with lust and save the second to lube himself with the oil, he plunged in and screamed. Once deep, he stopped for a second to position himself and he reached through under my arms to grab the pommel. With each thrust the saddle rocked a little. He rode me like he rode Nacoma, steadily building to a gallop that out-paced the wind. Riding had given us strong muscles and I clenched as he drove in, releasing my grip as he pulled back.

“Ar ... chie ...” a near silent scream and I sensed he was crying.

The fuck was taking us so high, soaring like eagles. His thrust was no longer a brutal slamming; we moved in union, riding at break-neck speed across the grasslands.

“FUCK!”

He erupted but unlike so often when the release signals an end, it heralded a beginning; a fuck without end, without limits; a fuck expanding; a fuck filling all of our senses, our consciousness.

When I came back to Earth, he was sprawled out, semi-comatose, glistening with sweat, heaving.

“Nathan,” I said quietly.

He was sobbing, an arm across his eyes.

“Nathan,” I repeated.

Within a heartbeat he was around me, kissing me frantically and then we sank, melting into each other and into the ground.

“You were amazing,” I said, smiling.

“I don’t know what happened. It was nothing like I’ve ever felt before; we were riding, soaring, diving ...”

“Perhaps it’s being here; the Spirits possessed us.”

“Whatever it was, it was mind blowing.”

“Do you want a drink?”

“Sure ... thanks.”

I warmed the coffee and poured a drop of rum into it, handing him the can. I sat across from him and rolled a cigarette.

“After breakfast, I’d like to ride to the river ...”

“Yeah ... let’s do that.”

After a few minutes, I said, “We should think about the future, even if all we do is plan what to do when Fall comes ...”

“Back to civilisation?”

“Unless you want to camp in the rains; and the winters get cold Gus said.”

“Yeah, but we have weeks yet.”

“I know, so let’s make the most of them.”

“And the horses?”

“I want to take them with us. Gus’s idea of getting the trailer was a good one and the pick-up will pull it easy.”

“Where to then?”

“A cabin up in the mountains.”

“Anywhere, as long as I’m with you.”

Chapter Two – Jacob’s puzzle

In the morning just after dawn, we rode to the river; a ride of just over an hour. We bathed and got the horses in to wash them off; they loved it. Whilst they rolled round to dry off, we brewed up.

“I have a picture forming.”

“It’s been awhile.”

“Yes, I know. I think it has to do with last night.”

Nathan went off to fish and I got out my sketch pad and pencil. Just like always, I closed my eyes and turned inward to see the picture. I never watch the pencil or the page. When I stayed with Joseph, I drew for him and for Nathan. Joseph’s pictures were strange tapestries of images; the skins of fierce beasts blending into the patterns of tree bark, faces reflected in crystal globes, limbs in grotesque arrangements, flames that looked like tongues, reptilian eyes, nebulae. The pictures for Nathan were always drawn after we’d made love and they were always of us or the gods in the throes of their passion. We’d kept all of those and sold the ones that Jacob had returned to us on the day of our flight. Since then, my pictures were different, more elemental; Nathan as the wind, the earth, the fire and the water; our sex represented by the trees, the rocks, the ripples on the surface of the lake.

I never really know how long the picture takes when I’m in that place. This one took two hours and Nathan was back and filleting the trout by the time I shook myself back into consciousness.

“Hey, partner.”

“Hi,” I smiled.

“You were gone.”

I looked down at the pad to see the result.

“Christ!”

“Let me see ...”

I held out the pad so he could see and he took it from my hand.

We were a herd of wild horses. Holding the picture a little away from your eyes you could see the horses clearly, move it closer and we emerged.

“This is outstanding,” was his assessment.

I needed to rest because the process is tiring and this one especially so. After dozing for half an hour, I just sat and in such moments, I habitually took out the wallet that Jacob had given me. It had little compartments that I imagine you could pop a credit card into. There were many of them and he’d put other things into them; a perpetual calendar, a list of international dialling codes, conversion tables, similar useful things that a traveller might need. In one pocket there was a puzzle, no bigger than a credit card. It was the kind that is made up of tiles set into a grid with one tile missing which allows you to move the other tiles around to put them into their correct position and when they are, a picture emerges. I’d never done it. However, it didn’t have a picture to make from the tiles; there were words, written in a very old looking script, like it had been written with a quill pen. I always assumed it was a Shakespearian quote like, ‘all that glistens is not gold, often have you heard that told’ which would figure as he had put a gold coin in the coin purse which had been gold and had netted us ten thousand dollars; pretty much saving our lives.

I was fiddling with it and whereas I usually abandon such things, like the miniature Rubik’s cube that Nathan has attached to the key ring for the truck, this time I persevered.

“What you doing?” asked Nathan as he skewered the trout onto the sticks for toasting for lunch.

“Jacob’s puzzle. There’s a quote to make from these tiles ... I think it’s a quote anyway. It’s not Shakespeare, which is what I thought.”

“What does it say?”

“Follow Lewis and Clark and meet the weary traveller at the tower.”

“That sounds like an instruction.”

“Yeah, but not from Jacob ... d’ya think?”

“If it is, then when?”

“I have no idea. I don’t know anything about Lewis and Clark ... who were they?”

“All I know is that they were navigators and they travelled across the country to the Pacific Coast somewhere.”

“It’s more than six months since we left Jacob at the airport.”

“Maybe Gus will know more about them.”

We ate the fish and rode back slowly to the campsite, thoughtful and quiet but certainly not unhappy. Gus was nowhere to be found of course, so the history of Lewis and Clark got put to one side and we cleaned the campsite and sorted the riding gear.

“We should head for the ocean and ride the horses on the beach,” I offered.

“Not exactly keeping a low profile.”

“You mean the fact that the visas ran out nearly four months ago?”

“Yeah.”

“We have no insurance for the truck either.”

“No.”

“If we somehow meet up with Jacob, I have a feeling things will work out.”

“Or get decidedly more complicated and possibly dangerous.”

“I don’t think Anthony or Joseph is looking for us, not now.”

“He said ‘get as far away from Anthony as possible’ ...”

“Aren’t we strong enough to deal with him?” I asked.

“We don’t know what he is capable of.”

“Jacob knew more than he could say at the time. If we meet then he’ll know how safe we are ... I don’t think Anthony poses a threat.”

“I wonder what the fuck he was up to …”

“And what did Joseph know about any of it ... those are the two unanswered questions.”

“I got why Jacob said not to listen to the tape that night. We’ve said all along that it was probably a brain-washing or mind-control thing but why did he say not to take the pencil case?”

“I never opened it. Maybe there was something else in the box.”

“We’re opening up the box now. We hoped it would all fade and we’d never have to think about it.”

“We don’t have to.”

“I wouldn’t if it wasn’t for the puzzle.”

“We’ll ask Gus what he knows and see if it’s worth pursuing. I’m guessing they reached the ocean on a particular date. If that date is ahead of us then maybe we should go and see whether Jacob turns up. But if the date is behind us, then what?”

“If it’s behind us then we should let it all go but if it’s ahead then we should be there. If someone does turn up then I just hope it’s Jacob and not Anthony, or Joseph for that matter.”

“I’ve always seen Joseph as innocent in all of this.”

“Perhaps he is, but he knew Anthony and they had been friends for years.”

“Yes, and that is worrying. How did Joseph recruit you?”

“I am – was - friends with the doctor who checked up on you. He had the contact with Joseph, not me.”

“Joseph helped Jacob when he was young, gave him the job; Joseph was very generous ...”

“Things change.”

We parked all of that and fed the horses and went to find Gus, seeing as his truck was back in the yard.

Chapter Three – Decisions

“Hey, fellas.”

“Hey, Gus ... how’s your history?”

“Why?”

“What do you know about Lewis and Clark?”

“Je’ ... let me see ... you boys planning to follow in their footsteps? I thought everyone wanted to drive the 66 these days ...”

“Not our scene.”

“Come into the house.”

He led us in and rummaged for a book from the pile in the lounge, which looked like it was holding up the wall.

“The trail didn’t pass any ways near here.”

“We might go to the ocean. They ended up there, didn’t they?” asked Nathan.

“They did ... in 1805 ... the 18th of November ...”

“Are there any monuments to their journey?”

“Astoria ... that I know. There’s a tower; climbed to the top once ... you fellas gonna ride there?”

“Probably not all the way, Gus; we want to see the ocean. We’ll take the horses in the trailer if Michael can sort one out.”

“When you thinking of leaving?”

“Before the bad weather certainly.”

“Two months before the weather turns wet ... if you change your minds then you’re welcome to pitch up in the barn.”

“Hey thanks!” We sang in unison.

“Don’t mention it.”

We left Gus and headed back to the site.

“18th of November ... roughly three months from now,” I ventured.

“It’s a date.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah; if he doesn’t show it won’t have been such a bad thing to move on, at least for a while.”

“And I really hope he does because I need some answers.”

That seemed settled and taking the horses was still the plan if Michael could get us a trailer. It would also be something like a year since the accident that had resulted in me staying with Joseph and meeting Nathan for the first time.

“If he doesn’t show then, you know, riding back from the end point to the start point of the trail would be really cool ...” offered Nathan.

“I’d do that with you.”

He smiled, looking down; he was never more beautiful than when he tried to dodge his emotions.

“What?” I asked.

“I never thought I’d meet anyone who I knew that I would spend the rest of my life with. That just seemed too remote a possibility, a dream ...”

“I can’t believe that you think that person is me. I never thought I’d be with anyone. Life on the streets wasn’t all that bad; well, sometimes it was. But mostly I just existed in a bubble; I couldn’t ever imagine that anyone would want me.”

“I want you; I did from the beginning; that pale thin broken twig ...”

“Thanks to you, I’m here.”

“You would have recovered.”

“I wouldn’t like to rate what my chances would have been with Anthony if you hadn’t been there.”

“I never got an inkling of anything wrong all that time, not until Jacob came that night and told us we had to leave and get away from him.”

“Neither did I.”

Later, over the coffee ...

“So, when do we leave to get there by the 18th of November?” I asked.

“Depends how we go; we could drive it in about a week.”

“Let’s take a little time; stopping awhile, riding the horses ...”

“A month then.”

“Sounds about right.”

That was the decision. Two more months at the site and then we’d leave and head for Astoria to arrive on the 18th of November and in my heart, I hoped beyond all hope that Jacob showed and we got the answers we needed. We needed to move on in some way.

Chapter Four – A marrying of minds

It wasn’t a stretch of the truth to say that I had never expected to be with anyone. I was born on the streets, at least being on the streets is all I can remember, until Joseph knocked me down and I was taken in by him to recover from my injuries. That’s where I met Nathan; he was the nurse who Joseph employed to care for me.

I rarely spoke to people; they scared me and I didn’t have any schooling so I didn’t really understand what they asked me. When I got to Joseph’s, I didn’t know a tenth of the language that I know now. I didn’t really know anything except how to survive. Nimble fingers attached to a skinny arm find their way into a pocket very easily! I can draw these amazing pictures, and I don’t know how it started but the results are outstanding and apparently they are worth a lot of money. The dealer in Houston paid a fortune for the ones I drew for Joseph and Anthony. We haven’t sold the ones I drew of us, me and Nathan; they’re too personal and the picture always comes into my mind after we’ve made love.

I love Nathan. I didn’t recognise it as love at first because I hadn’t experienced love before. He showed me love; it started with a kiss. He loves me; I know it as plain as the nose on his face and he has a very straight nose, mine’s a bit smudgy.

We escaped from Anthony’s clutches and fled Joseph’s house with Jacob’s help. We don’t know why we had to leave like that; why I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to Joseph, why Jacob didn’t go back after he dropped us at the airport, why he gave me a valuable gold coin and why he left me a clue that might lead us to the place and the time where we’ll be reunited. And as the time is ahead of us, we’ve agreed to go and see what happens but I’m afraid of what might happen. What if one of us is hurt or worse?

We were sitting around the fire after seeing Gus and working out when we should leave.

“Nathan; what if one of us gets hurt or is killed or we lose each other ...?”

“Nothing bad is going to happen.”

“I know we don’t think it will but I don’t know what I would do if I lost you ...”

For a change I wasn’t being hyper-emotional but uncommonly matter of fact.

“If we meet Jacob at the tower, I don’t think it puts us in any danger and we might get some answers. I don’t think he would have left you the clue unless he planned to tell us what the hell was - or is - going on ...”

“I agree with that but what if Nacoma throws you tomorrow; what would I do?”

“We have the money, plenty of it ...”

“But if you were hurt, or died, they might not let me be with you.”

He paused; our situation was very ‘un-real’. We didn’t have visas; they had run out months ago. We just had passports and birth certificates and a stack of money from the sale of the coin and the pictures. The truck wasn’t insured because we didn’t have an address and we wanted to stay outside of the system in case Anthony or Joseph was hunting for us.

“I ...”

He faltered, probably because the emotional baggage was stacking up.

“... I think we need to ... to agree what we would do if, God forbid, one of us is hurt badly or ... is killed.”

The words brought us closer together and I lay back on him as he leaned back on one of the saddles, his arms draped around my shoulders, his hands resting on my chest.

“People get married.”

He shifted position and moved his hands and one was against my cheek now, stroking it very gently.

“People get married; do you want to get married?”

“Yes ...”

“How would we do it?”

“I’m not sure. In Anthony’s lessons on religion, tradition and custom there were lots of ways but if we have something then if you were badly injured and in the hospital, they would have to agree to let me be with you.”

As naïve as that sounded, I couldn’t contemplate being removed from his side.

He pulled me closer.

“... because if I couldn’t be with you, I’d go crazy.”

“Well, let’s work out how we do it and let’s work hard at staying out of the hospital in the first place.”

His tone had lightened and I could sense he was smiling. I turned onto my side so that I could press my cheek against his chest and listen to his heart beat which is very strong and just about as reassuring a thing as I can think of.

“Nathan ...”

“Yeah ...”

“I love you.”

“I love you with all my heart, Archie; nothing else matters.”

“You used to have a job and a house.”

He chuckled.

“I did; and if you said I could have them back and be safe from Anthony and have all the answers to our questions, I wouldn’t want them if it meant I couldn’t be with you every second of the rest of my life.”

“Was it a nice house?”

He laughed out loud. I hadn’t intended to make the joke; actually I was curious but he thought it was a joke and he laughed and that is always what I want to see and hear, his laughter.

“We could go back there and get normal lives.”

“Perhaps we should but what about the wide open spaces and the horses and the cowboys?”

“Haven’t you had enough of that yet?”

“I haven’t seen a proper cowboy.”

“I thought I was doing a pretty good job with Nacoma.”

“He loves you, I can see it.”

“I know. I don’t want to let him go, so we have to stay; the flat isn’t big enough.”

I laughed.

“And don’t forget Ayasha.”

“It means ‘little one’ ...”

“I remember one of Anthony’s lessons and pictures of the prehistoric paintings of the horses in the caves.”

“What else do you remember?”

The tone had gotten very seductive.

“He didn’t teach me any of those things ... you did.”

“I think some revision is called for.”

“Did you forget how to do it?”

“I don’t think so but we’d better make sure.”

Nathan’s body had been mesmerising at the beginning; it was the first naked body I had seen. When Anthony had asked him to get undressed as part of the anatomy lesson and Nathan was standing there in just his underpants I knew, without knowing anything, that he was perfect, special and beautiful.

His body is sculpted but he doesn’t preen and strut like some peacock. He’s agile and lithe and sometimes too powerful for me; his ‘force’ is extremely potent. He’s very strong, unlike me, and even after months of good food and daily exercise, I’m still more of a twig than a branch whereas he’s the whole tree, from root to crown. He has a wonderful cock, not too long but fat and the head is like a chestnut and it glistens because he leaks when he gets excited; like now, so it’ll be leaking and he gets very hard quickly. He’s gentle though; he’s never rough, never aggressive, and never thoughtless.

I had been lying on one side with my head against his chest so I levered myself up and kneeled astride his legs so that I could see his face.

“Is your cock getting hard?” I asked, looking beneath my eyebrows, smirking.

“Yes,” and the voice was thick in his throat, “but I want you to fuck me ...”

He fucks me more often than I fuck him.

“Kiss me first, like the first time.”

“Take off your shirt ...”

I pulled it off and found his hands on my chest, his fingertips just pressed lightly against my nipples and I shuddered.

“... are you cold?”

“No ...”

I leant in and began to explore the territory around his lips with my own, nibbling away at first and he went to open his mouth.

“Don’t open your mouth yet, I want your lips first.”

I continued, like I was nibbling a cob of sweetcorn, and his lips tasted buttery … soft and buttery. Then I placed the tip of my tongue on his lips and slid it across, first one way then the other, between them. He was struggling not to open them and he shifted and his hands moved from my chest to either side of my waist and the pressure of his grip increased. I ground down into his lap to feel the hard lump.

“You’re hard ... you can open your lips just a little now.”

He did and smiled. I licked between his lips, feeling his warm breath on my tongue. I pushed a little further so I could rub the underside of my tongue, just the tip, over the edge of his bottom teeth and I felt the tip of his begin to slide forward. The tips touched and I found my hands travelling to his nipples, gripping them between my thumb and the side of my index finger, gripping and rubbing. He had to pull back.

“Fuck ... Archie ...”

“Did I remember how to do it?”

He pulled me in to start the kiss; the kiss is everything to me. Sure, when we fuck, our cocks are buried inside of each other but the tongue is so much more sensitive and agile. And kissing isn’t just foreplay; it’s a whole Universe of taste and feeling, sometimes hot and sometimes cool, soft and yielding or hard and probing. Sucking it, having it sucked, biting it or having it bitten and we lose ourselves in the kiss and have no idea where we are or what our hands are doing, though usually his are in my crazy mop of hair and mine are playing with his nipples or his earlobes which sends him high. His hands were buried between us in our groins but the heavy jeans were not giving him the access he wanted. Because we wore the jeans all of the time, they had moulded to our shapes and my denim clad mound was very prominent; I was extremely hard. He kneaded it through the fabric and was getting frantic.

“Shit I need that!”

“I’m not gonna take them off; loosen your belt and undo the buttons.”

I moved to allow him space and he tugged the belt free of the buckle and undid the buttons.

“Turn over,” I added.

He turned within the confines of my legs that were astride him. I pushed the shirt up his back, allowing myself the ecstasy of the feeling of my hands sliding over his skin; his hot, smooth skin, like the saddle after we’ve been riding.

“Thrust your arse up and rest on your elbows,” I demanded.

“Did Anthony give you lessons in mind control?”

I chuckled as I reached for the oil, placing the bottle within reach. I gripped the back of his jeans and pulled them down a little, enough to expose the upper half of his buttocks. Leaning over I kissed his spine, a series of kisses, working down until I reached the top of his crevasse. I worked my tongue just into the start of the canyon; it tasted of sweat.

“Please do that; it’s unbelievably good when you do that ...”

Nathan had shown me the basics of making love but I’d explored everything since. I dragged the jeans down over his arse and pushed them down into a crumpled heap around his knees. I just kissed it at first, so smooth and hot and rock hard from riding. The angle of entry was not exactly right for getting my tongue deep but the tip just made contact with the softest ring around his hole.

“Archie, please ...”

I could smell leather and the oil which we treated the saddles with, the detergent we used to wash our clothes and sweat. It made for a kind of herbal tea infusion but unlike most herbal teas, this tasted as good as it smelled. I levered myself back to regroup and breathe normally and whilst I did, I picked up the bottle of oil and poured a tiny amount into the palm of one hand and then rubbed my hands together to warm it a little. I pushed up from the base of his spine to the top on either side of the groove, the tips of my fingers digging in a little; he contorted under their influence. Back and forth, wide sweeps of his whole back, some concentrated kneading of the shoulders and then lower to the dimples at the base and back into the crevasse, smoothing the oil down and deep into the ‘snake pit’ as he called it, that forgotten land between your balls and your bum.

I was still in my jeans and painfully hard from where my penis was locked down in heavy duty denim. I couldn’t restrain myself any longer so I undid my button fly and hooked out my penis; I’m longer than Nathan but not as thick. It was a quick job to lube up because my hands were covered with the oil but he needed to be eased open a little first and two fingers delved into the crevasse to find ‘Grand Central Station’ as he liked to phrase it.

“There’s one due in soon.”

“Archie ... fuck me please!” The pleading was almost pitiful.

Resting my hands on his lower back, I guided myself in and deliberately slow, finding the platform instantly but I dithered before I stepped on-board!

I put a hand underneath him and grabbed his pommel; Jesus, he was so hard and dripping wet!

“Fuck Nath, you’re so fucking hard and wet.”

He loves it when I get crude; the cruder the better. At the start I didn’t even know what the name for my penis was.

As I pushed forward, the fabric of my jeans and the buckle of my belt came into contact with his skin. The buckle was cool and he gasped; a quick little intake of breath which he blew out slowly and as he did, he relaxed and I sank in until I couldn’t go any further. I just held myself to experience the amazing heat and the massage his muscles gave me. I rubbed his cock to spread his pre-cum over it and around his balls which had risen up into a crinkly mass like a giant walnut. Leaning forward, I rested my torso on his back and reached around him with both arms to hug him like a bear and then I started to thrust, accentuating the movement, smooth movements with a kick at the end. I had my cheek to his back and I could hear his heart beating faster and his breath rushing in and out of his lungs like some great mythical beast. At times, I let my cock withdraw completely to feel the relative coolness of the air before plunging back in to re-experience the heat and the momentary contraction of his muscles.

“Archie ...”

I hugged tighter and thrust deeper. His hips had been immobile but now they started to meet me on the inward journey. Grabbing his cock in one hand, I let his movement push and pull his slick member through my hand, squeezing the head gently as it passed through the middle of my fist.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he stuttered out.

I changed my hand position to cup the end of his cock with my palm and just kneaded it until his hips signalled that a release was imminent. I stopped moving and let him dictate the thrust. Before the cries started, I felt the warm liquid ooze through my fingers and then the agonised yelps began like hiccups and ended like a wolf howl and I was sure Gus was going to come out to investigate.

Though he was orgasming, I was still some way off. I let go of his cock and smeared my palm full of cum over his abdomen. His hips had slowed down and I was in danger of missing the crucial point of my own surge so I thrust again and re-captured it, drove it on by bringing my hand to my face to breathe in his essence and lick my palm. My load came out in throbs, my balls felt like they were being crushed in a vice. I had no voice until the last gut wrenching spasm ejected the final drop.

“FUCK!”

At the end I was arched back and holding onto his hips to stop myself from falling backwards. It kept my cock firmly lodged inside him until I slumped forward and then it slipped out smoothly with the sound of a stick being pulled out of the mud. We kind of imploded and ended up in an untidy heap of limbs and clothes but before the lights went out, we found each other’s lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Chapter Five – Gus has a bright idea

Not uncommonly, the following morning, I began a picture and even by my own standards this one was the most detailed that I could remember and as a consequence, I was out of it for three hours. When I came to, Nathan was back and just watching me from the other side of the small fire which had coffee brewing on it.

“Welcome back; I swear you left your body.”

I smiled.

“What do you think?” I asked as I handed over the pad.

He began to cry.

“What?” I asked gently.

“This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen ...”

I’d drawn a Comanche headdress, like the one Gus had, in near photographic quality and every feather, upon very close inspection, revealed a different image of us, not just making love but also riding, swimming and fishing.

“It’s like a diary,” I offered.

“It’s a fucking masterpiece ...”

“I’m gonna ask Gus how the Comanche got married; maybe he’ll perform the ceremony.”

“I don’t think they were that elaborate; very simple exchanges in fact.”

“I don’t care. I just have to know that I’ve given myself to you and only you.”

“Do you mean that? You never went with anyone else.”

“I know, and I never want to. You are everything I could ever, ever imagine having ... and I don’t think anyone could love me more than you do.”

The kiss alleviated the moment as it was in danger of precipitating the rains.

“Let’s go and see him,” Nathan suggested after several minutes.

We walked over to the house hand-in-hand; Gus knew the score and he didn’t mind that we were together.

“Gus!” we called out.

He appeared not long afterwards.

“Hey fellas; what’s doin’?”

“Gus, how did the Comanche get married?” I asked.

“Come in.”

We all automatically sat down at the table and helped ourselves to the coffee.

“... well, traditionally, a young man would approach the young woman’s father and offer gifts; horses, rope, powder, that kind of stuff, and if the father was satisfied with the value of the goods, he would allow the young man to take his daughter away. There was very little formality compared to the way things are now and she didn’t have a choice ...”

“What if she didn’t like him?” I asked.

“She might run away to another village with the man of her choice but then her ‘husband’ would probably pursue them and kill them both ... Why did you want to know?”

I suddenly felt awkward so Nathan answered the question.

“We wanted to pledge ourselves to each other and no other.”

“We’re worried too that if one of us gets hurt, the hospital might not let us stay with each other and if one of us should die then we’d have no say in how things were handled,” I added.

He studied our faces intently for about a minute and Gus had eyes that could bore holes in granite.

“Well, the Comanche Indian had nothing like that. They were warriors, looking for war. Status and respect were earned on the battlefield and by the horses which you owned. The ritual at someone’s death was very important but if you’ve said the words to each other, then that should be enough ...”

“The hospital probably won’t think so, Gus.”

“If you get that far; without visas and health insurance then I don’t think the rest is gonna help you too much. You boys are off grid but if you’re planning to go to Astoria then you’ll have a hard job keeping a low profile, especially with the horses and a truck with Louisiana plates ...”

I guess I must have looked depressed.

“What say you that I drive you to Astoria? My truck is bigger and, well, how shall I put it, I can smooth the way, so to speak ...”

“You’d really do that for us?” and I must have sounded like a five year old.

“I fancy seeing the ocean again ... When you leaving?”

“Last week of October,” replied Nathan.

“On the night of the full moon, the Comanche Moon they call it; warriors would ride into Mexico in the light of the full moon to steal horses ...”

“But who would look after this place?”

“Benjamin can come over.”

Benjamin was Gus’s nephew.

“We’ll pay the expenses,” Nathan offered and he was dead right to do so.

“Now, we’ll see-”

“No, we’ll pay for the expenses.”

Thirty seconds of silent negotiations ended in our favour.

“Leave your truck here; I’ll put it in the barn. You’ll need it when you come back.”

We just smiled, not knowing if we would or if we could but a bolthole was worth a lot to us.

“Thanks, Gus,’” we chimed in together.

“But that don’t sort you guys out with your pledging ... let me think about that.”

“Oh, Gus, this is for you.”

And I handed him the picture from the morning. He took it and stared at it for a good long time. We guessed it opened up a lot of memories for him, mostly good ones judging by the tears which were standing in his eyes. We left him to it to head out and discuss the turn of events.

“Let’s ride,” ventured Nathan.

“Good idea.”

We rode out; the horses never needed any encouragement. They’re plains horses and bred from Comanche stock. Gus had put us in touch with Michael when we’d floated the idea and if there’s one thing a Comanche knows, it’s horses - and none better than the Mustang. A hack over the plains does wonders for the brain … and the libido, I should add. Especially when the object of your desire is shirtless, unashamedly revelling in the utter joy and complete abandon of the moment. Nathan is an accomplished rider. Where I trot, he gallops but he has Nacoma and the stallion demands confidence whereas I have Ayasha and she’s a little older and I think a little shy actually, not skittish but wary; we’re all well matched. We stopped to let them drink.

“We can’t let these go; we have to take them.”

“Then Gus’s idea is the best one ... I wonder what he means by ‘smoothing the way’?” asked Nathan.

“He’ll know where we can stop and exercise them safely and he’s probably got contacts all over this area ...”

“Are we sure we’re up for this?”

“We have to see if Jacob shows. If he doesn’t, then we’ll come back and winter over then head off in the Spring.”

“Okay; and if Jacob shows?”

“He’ll answer our questions and we’ll decide then ... it’s easy for me to say that I don’t want to go back because I have nothing to go back to but you do … or did.”

“The money won’t last forever.”

“Unless I sell more of the pictures.”

“Yeah, we could do that but we’re still aliens and at risk all the time.”

“The Comanche never had healthcare or insurance ...”

“No, and they usually died young.”

“We’ll never die.”

Nathan just smiled; what do you say to that?

Chapter Six – Preparations on all levels

We didn’t have a clue what Gus might come up with for the pledging ceremony. Personally, I just wanted Nathan to know that I had chosen him, and only him, for the rest of my life and I would do everything in my power to protect him and love him.

We were in the tent, tired from riding, just chilling out which habitually meant lying together in the sleeping bag, kind of lying on our sides. Usually Nathan is behind me with one arm under me, curled around my stomach and the other over me, both hands jammed down the front of my boxers, where his hands just cover everything, not necessarily fondling me, well, not all the time and his cock is pressed into my backside, his chin over one shoulder. I have one arm up and my hand curled around the back of his neck and the other lying across my chest, on top of his arms, head turned slightly so that I can steal a kiss whenever I want.

“We should see Michael and get the trailer and then we can get the horses used to it,” I offered.

“Good plan ... and Gus’s truck is more powerful so it won’t have a problem towing.”

“I wonder why he offered to take us; I mean the real reason.”

“He’s Comanche and they never stayed in one place that long; always itching for the next battle.”

“Our battle is not his battle though.”

“He doesn’t know that we have one and I wonder what we should actually tell him, now that he’s coming along.”

“He won’t be in any danger.”

“No, but we should be honest, as honest as we can afford to be. I think he’ll appreciate it.”

“Okay.”

I snuggled and pushed back against the mountain, my warm and virile mountain. It was construed as an invitation to probe so a hand slipped round from the front of my boxers and started to push them down from the back. The saddle oil is never far away and within a minute, I felt his glorious fat cock enter my body. It was a chilled out fuck.

Michael came over with the trailer and it suited the job just fine so we paid him and then spent a few days practising driving the truck with the trailer hitched just to get used to it and then we made a couple of short trips with the horses to make sure they didn’t get stressed.

“It’s a seventeen hundred mile trip, fellas, and these horses need a lot of exercise. Don’t plan on covering more than two hundred miles a day and that’s without stop overs to let them run and we don’t want to be driving all of the time; a month is the minimum … full moon to full moon.

“Sure, Gus … and we’d like to see Lawton first.”

“Should run down there next week; be a kind of trial run.”

Lawton is the county seat of the Comanche County. It’s where the museums are and where the Comanche Nation is headquartered.

Preparations ate the days and we planned to camp out as much as possible so the kit needed to be sorted and it took a week to set the route and mark up all the stopping over points; where we could buy food, where Gus had friends and family, where we could stop and it wasn’t just a drive from A to B. Much of the immediate vicinity was full of Comanche history, mostly the places where battles had been fought. The horses were getting used to the trailer and almost daily, we’d load up and drive out, practise manoeuvres and unload.

We told Gus a little of the story and why it was important that we tried to meet Jacob on the 18th.

“If he don’t show then you know you’re welcome to come back and stay for as long as you want.”

“We will, Gus, at least until the Spring.”

One evening, not too long before we were due to leave, we were invited to have dinner with Gus at the house and his invitation had been edged with an antique quality that wasn’t lost on either of us.

“He’s planning something.”

We’d spent the day with Benjamin; he’s Gus’s nephew and a qualified veterinarian. He showed us all the basics for caring for the horses and we’d learned a lot already. After a run and a wash, we headed in to the smells of the stew, no longer bison but good beef, vegetables and beans, dried fruits and nuts and some disgusting sounding tripe that was actually delicious. We both skipped the curdled milk speciality.

We ate and listened intently to Gus recount tribal legends, like the creation myth that I never tired of and how they believed that the Great Spirit collected swirls of dust from the four directions of the wind to create the Comanche people and how a bad demon was created and tormented the people until the Great Spirit cast it into the pit but it took refuge in the fangs and stings of the poisonous creatures and sought to harm the people.

“You’re not Comanche and if you asked me to adopt you into the tribe, your backsides would be red from the whipping I’d give them. Folks ask to be adopted into the tribe; I feel for some of them because they’re lost but most people think it’s just cool. I know you respect our history. You have some kind of connection with the horses and horses are a big part of our lives, so I think you have some affinity ...”

We were enrapt. He sounded like the Great Spirit and he looked different, like thirty or more years had dropped from his shoulders and his brow.

“These are Comanche knives; they belonged to my grandfather and I want you to take them.”

These weren’t modern reproductions; these were hand-forged with buffalo horn handles in a hand-sewn sheath that had some delicate bead decoration.

“But Gus … these are family ...”

“Yes, they are.”

We read the sub-text right and concluded that this was the nearest thing to being adopted we could get and the fact that we were both orphans wasn’t lost on us or on Gus, who had a remarkable memory for such details that could have been disclosed months before and had never been alluded to since.

“Gus, they’re beautiful,” we sang with hearts so full.

“There’s one other thing. Comanche decorated their bodies with paint, it was a personal thing; no two designs were the same. It’s up to you but I’d like you to think about it.”

“Do you have a design, Gus?” I asked.

He stood up and lifted his shirt and despite his advancing years, his body was still pretty solid. He had an amazingly simple but breathtakingly beautiful pattern of feathers over his torso and back.

“They’re tattooed?” I queried.

“Yes, they are.”

He grew six inches taller in our minds and Nathan was spellbound.

“I’ll show you how to make the paints from the clay and the juice of certain berries; you decide if you decorate yourselves. Sounds to me that this meeting with Jacob is like going into battle ... as far as the pledge - and I know the TV always shows the Indian and the cowboy becoming sworn blood brothers and cutting their thumbs; it’s myth, it rarely happened but if you want to pledge yourselves to each other then maybe if you exchange the knives then you’ll feel something of the bond but I have to say you should already. Your deeds say it and in those deeds will it be remembered.”

It signalled an end to the evening and we left in silence with so many thoughts.

“I’m really pleased I gave him the picture now.”

“It was like you knew.”

“Do you want to exchange the knives?”

“Yes; though he’s right ... we are pledged and I’d die for you.”

That hit me square in the stomach.

“Nathan ...” was all I could muster.

Not that night but shortly afterwards, we lit a fire and exchanged our knives and said very simply, ‘I will protect you’; it was enough. Fuck all the stupid rules! I’d find a way to be with him if I had to.

“What about the body paint?” I asked on one of the last days before we left.

“It’s a little crazy but if you want to, I will too.”

“I’d like to, it’s personal.”

We learned how to mix the paints from Gus, and set up in the barn one evening and we experimented. Drawing the pictures like I did was no help to me because I don’t control that process; I don’t even watch the pencil or the paper. I have to be turned inwards to see the picture that I draw.

“Turn inwards, maybe you’ll see something; use your fingers as the pencil.”

Nathan was standing in front of me, bare-chested and I turned my eyes inward to see the picture, if there was one. It was different. Usually I see the picture as a static thing, not a moving image but this time I saw flashes of movement as if the picture was being shown to me through an aperture, which itself was moving. I don’t think the picture moved. It appeared like tropical birds and the rainforest, slanting this way and that, lizards and snakes, the hooves of bison and the flared nostrils of our beloved Mustang. I only had green and red paints and Nathan was holding the pots in his hands in front of him.

“Archie!”

His cry brought me out of what he described as a maelstrom, a maelstrom of art. When I turned my eyes out, I was disorientated and I could barely focus on his eyes but they held mine and I calmed down.

“Jesus, Archie, you were so gone and crazed.”

His upper body was covered in a kaleidoscope of colour and shapes and somehow all those elements had made their way into the design; leaves that grew into feathers that ended in eyes and bared teeth or muscular flanks that melted into pools of water that contained fish that looked like knives. I just smiled.

“I hope it doesn’t rub off too quick,” he added.

“Your turn.”

“It won’t look like this.”

“So ... I don’t care what it look likes; it’s you on me.”

Nathan wasn’t especially artistic and at first he couldn’t see anything and admitted that he was too nervous.

“Close your eyes,” I suggested, “just move your hands.”

He coated his fingers and closed his eyes and I stepped forward so that his fingertips touched my chest. He flinched and smiled nervously. In the end, it looked to me like one of the horses in full flight; mane and tail streaming in the wind.

“It’s Nacoma.”

“I thought of him.”

“It’s perfect.”

Gus had been standing and watching without us knowing.

“We’re ready,” he said and we started a little, “we’re leaving tomorrow as the moon rises.”

Chapter Seven – Smoothing the way

This isn’t a travel log and I’m going to refrain from describing seventeen hundred miles of dirt, sweat and grime, which is what it amounted to for the most part. That isn’t to say we didn’t see some very cool stuff and one thing will forever remain in my memory and it was the cowboys.

We were cutting across into Idaho, north of Salt Lake City, in the area of Logan, and heading to a ranch owned by a friend in the Sawtooth National Forest where we planned to stay for a couple of nights. We stopped at a pretty beat up old service station to refuel and as we did, another truck pulled in. It was a truck much like ours but the back was open with a kind of cage in which there were two Mustangs and in the cab were three young men.

“Oh my God ... Archie ... real cowboys!” Nathan whispered excitedly.

I looked and the three guys got out and three demi-gods of the plains stood before us. They came over because they could see we were hauling horses too and within seconds, they were shaking our hands and Gus was introducing us and they wanted to see the horses, so we got them out.

Like so much that happened, it wasn’t deliberate or calculated. Nathan was holding Nacoma by the reins and he reared his head and lifted Nathan’s arms way above his head and in so doing, it pulled his shirt up and out of his jeans and the design painted on his torso was revealed for a brief moment and they all saw it. They knew Gus to be Comanche and it was like mythology or history came to life; the war chief and his braves on a reconnoitre.

These guys were more feral than the horses in the back of the truck but neither coarse nor crude, just wild horses in denim with bodies sculpted by hard labour. They were fascinated by the accents, the designs, and clearly loved the horses. They said they daren’t get the horses out of the trailer that they were hauling. These beasts were completely wild and unbroken and I said to Gus they looked like the swirls of dust which the Great Spirit created the people from. He just gave me that look of ten thousand year old weathered granite.

“We’re heading to Sawtooth,” he told them.

They were too and we left in convoy.

A night and a day and a night in the company of true horse people and they respected Nathan’s skill with Nacoma and the manager offered him work if he wanted it. Gus was in demand to recount tales of the ‘old days’ which he happily did around the fire. I found myself on the edge of the group but not unhappy.

A young ‘hand’ came over and questioned me on the design I’d painted on Nathan’s chest and I told him about the art I did. So much for keeping a low profile, I thought to myself.

“Would you draw me a design for a tattoo that I want to get?” he asked. His name was Samuel.

“Sure,” I replied nervously.

I dug out the pencil and the pad and found a quiet spot where I could sit and work. He asked if he could watch.

It was very early morning on the day we were leaving and Gus and Nathan were sorting out the trailer. I began as always and closed my eyes and turned them in to see the picture, if there was one. An hour later, I re-surfaced and presented him with the picture.

“Jesus man, your hand moved so fast I couldn’t see it at times.”

“Do you like it?”

It was a landscape, seen from high above, like an eagle soaring over the Sawtooth range and as you looked more closely the face of the eagle appeared.

“This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen ...”

I smiled, strangely nervous; he exuded an energy, a sexual energy that was so pure you could taste it on your tongue.

“Are you with Nathan?” he asked

“We’re pledged,” I replied, though the phrase under different circumstances would have sounded odd at best or contrived and clichéd at worst.

“I would pledge myself to you if you were free.”

He didn’t wait for a reply but wondered off to show his friends the design I had drawn for him. It elicited more attention than I was ready for and I wasn’t unhappy when we left soon afterwards.

“You’re quiet, Archie ... you okay?” Nathan asked a bit later.

“I’m fine. I drew a design for one of the hands ... he wanted a tattoo. It was a bit tiring.”

I knew Nathan knew there was more to it than that and only later did he question me more closely about it.

“Did he ask you to go with him?”

“No; he asked if we were together and I said we were ‘pledged’ and he said he would have pledged himself to me if I had been free.”

I think he was surprised.

“How did you feel?”

“Scared; I’m not used to the attention ...”

“Did you like him?”

“He was different to the others ... he asked me to draw him a design and I was happy to do it and it made me happy that he liked it but I didn’t want to go with him.”

“I’m sorry. It probably sounds like I’m drilling you or mistrust you.”

“I’m pledged to you, Nathan ... forever; that won’t ever change.”

“I know but I never saw anyone react that way around you ... I suppose I got scared too.”

“You don’t have to be scared that you’ll lose me that way ... you never would.”

“I believe you.”

“We saw real cowboys,” I said, lighting up because it had been one of the things we’d talked about at the very start.

“Yes, we did ...”

It wasn’t easy to fulfil our needs as we travelled with Gus. Sometimes we snatched a fumble if we rode the horses out to exercise them. I guess our abstinence was taking its toll.

“He offered you a job ...”

“Yeah, unbelievably ...”

“You’re great with the horses.”

“I know but I can’t think about that until after we’ve seen this through and I’d work for Gus before I considered working for anyone else.”

“I love you, Nathan.”

“I love you too.”

It seemed to me that love was like the wild Mustang; sometimes it reared its head and demanded a freer rein.

Our way was smoothed and I thought to myself that Gus must be the Great Spirit because more than once the police would trawl by as we were parked up and it was like we were invisible. They saw what he wanted them to see and we were safe inside his aura.

Despite the hundreds and hundreds of miles, the distance between us and Astoria shrank and pretty soon we were a mere handful of days away from the rendezvous. The purpose of the trip hit us both and it needed to be discussed. We were lying just outside Portland and Gus agreed to take the horses to a livery and give us a night alone so we could make the plan. I think he knew we needed some space and to be fair, he probably did too.

“I’ll come by at eleven tomorrow and then we’ll drive to Svensen where we’ll stay tomorrow night and then you’ll be ready for the meeting the day after ...”

We waved him goodbye and found the sanctuary of the motel but not before we’d piled into IKEA and treated ourselves to the buffet, Swedish style!

“One more day,” I ventured.

“One more day ... this was exactly the right thing to do, Archie.”

“I agree ... I’ve only just realised how excited I am at the prospect of actually seeing Jacob.”

“He may not show.”

“I know, but if he’s there then I’ll be so happy and I don’t care what he says in some ways, just seeing him alive will be enough.”

“What time do we actually aim to get to the tower?”

“Sunrise.”

“And how long are we going to wait?”

“If he doesn’t show by noon, then we should see how we feel but I think we’ll know by then what to do.”

“Agreed.”

“He didn’t find us and neither did Anthony, if he was looking. It’s been nine months and I don’t think Anthony is after us.”

“He wouldn’t have had a clue where to start looking unless he’d kept tabs on Jacob.”

“He would needed to have found him first.”

“If he shows - I mean if Anthony shows - what do we do?”

“Confront him. We’re strong, Nathan; he can’t hurt us.”

“I’ll kill him if he takes a step towards you.”

“He won’t; he’ll see how things are. He won’t show. I just hope Jacob does so we know what the hell was going on.”

That quelled the anxiety for the moment; it was more like morbid curiosity than anxiety, to be fair. We showered and re-applied the designs to our skins because we wanted them to be fresh and Nathan was toying with the idea of getting his tattooed permanently.

We were naked in the bathroom of the motel room and cleaning up afterwards. Nathan was brushing my hair and arranging it like the Comanche braves did, parted down the middle and tied with thongs at the side; it was very long now. He started kissing my neck very softly, rubbing his fingertips up and down my arms which sent shivers through me to the core and made my nipples very hard.

“Nathan ...” I breathed, closing my eyes to concentrate on the sensation.

He was standing behind me and pulled me in, his arms crossed over my chest. I’d added designs to his forearms, and with those against my chest, it looked like a 3D image of a coyote hiding in the sagebrush.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered into my ear and I smiled broadly because I knew he would be smiling too but I didn’t open my eyes. In fact, as he entered me from behind, I turned my eyes inward, something I’d never done before and the Great Spirit created us from the swirling dust from the four winds and fought with the demon to cast it into the pit. Nathan’s spasms coincided with the beast spitting it’s venom into the eyes of the Great Spirit that roared like a tornado and the demon was cast down again, broken and spewing its blood that drained into the Earth, and all the fires in all the mountains rose up and the flesh of the demon was burned to ash and the Great Spirit was baptised in the fire and its sight was renewed.

Chapter Eight – The Tower

We headed at a gentle pace over to Svensen and exercised the horses in Big Creek County Park before arriving at the stables. Once they were bedded down, we headed out to eat and Gus was the first to broach the subject of the following day’s agenda.

“What time you boys wanna be at the tower?”

“Sunrise, Gus, and we’ll wait until noon. If he doesn’t show by then, we’re both agreed that we want to head back with you.”

“And Nathan, you’ll work alongside Benjamin?”

“Yes, despite the offer from Auden, I’d prefer to be with you.”

Gus nodded his head.

“What will you do, Archie?”

“Study ... and sell my pictures.”

It seemed from the question that Gus didn’t think he would show or maybe he just didn’t want to contemplate our decisions if Jacob did.

“I’ll be waiting for you to call. No point taking the horses up there, you can’t get them out; we’ll be down in Shively Park ...”

There wasn’t anything else to discuss and once we’d checked the horses, we all turned in early because we were going to be up early. Not that it mattered because neither Nathan nor I could sleep and we just lay together watching the moon shadows.

It took an hour to get ready and set off and a further hour to drive and settle Gus with the horses in Shively and then we headed to the tower to be set just before sunrise. We parked up and sipped a coffee before surveying the area, not really knowing at that point what we should do, other than wait.

The tower, which in fact was a column, was set upon a plaza which was six hundred feet above the level of the Columbia River. It was surrounded by a grass tract and around that was woodland, an island in the greenery. The column was one hundred and twenty-five feet high and there were one hundred and sixty-four steps inside to ascend to the viewing platform.

The mural on the outside depicted events from the early history of Oregon State including the arrival of Lewis and Clark in 1805 on this day.

It was deserted, needless to say, and the tower was locked and the gift shop in the car park was closed, being only just after seven o’clock.

Shortly afterwards, a car drew up and parked near the visitor centre and an old guy got out and the first thing he did was unlock the door at the base of the column.

“Do you want to climb to the top?” asked Nathan.

“You bet!”

The old guy smiled and obviously thought we were hyper-keen tourists. Our feet trod quietly on the iron stairs; the thick rubber soles of the Dublin’s squeaked a little. By the time we climbed out at the top, it was sunrise and the views were magnificent … but sightseeing and taking snaps weren’t really on our minds; neither of us had brought the camera up. Looking down there was still just the old guy’s car in the car park and the truck. I got out the little puzzle which had set us on this journey.

“... ’Follow Lewis and Clark and meet the weary traveller at the tower’ ...” I recounted.

“We’re here ...”

“I just don’t know if he’s coming ... I think it’s in the balance.”

“Let’s go back down ‘cos I’m getting cold.”

We walked round the platform one more time and then headed for the doorway to take the stairs back down.

As we exited from the stairwell and strode out onto the plaza, we heard the voice we’d prayed we’d never hear again.

“Bored with the view already?” it said, the owner of which was just out of sight, being round the curve of the tower. It had been nine months or thereabouts but the voice was unmistakable, “... I really wish you’d listened to that last tape, Archie ...”

Chapter Nine – Not all Comanche die young

Anthony moved up behind us.

“Move slowly to the truck and get in. Don’t do anything stupid; I have a gun and I will use it.”

Nathan got the prod in the back to send us on our way. He carefully shielded me as we strode across the plaza to where we had parked the truck.

“Do nothing and say nothing, Archie,” he whispered over Nathan’s shoulder and as we got to the last twenty steps or so, “I should have taken Joseph’s bet; he said you would be here today and I doubted it ...”

We didn’t say anything.

“Jacob paid a heavy price for his error of judgement.”

I started to crumple and Nathan turned.

“You’re lying,” he said and I just couldn’t keep the tears back despite Herculean effort but I managed to put one foot in front of the other.

“Convenient for me that he gave you the wallet; it wasn’t difficult to pop the puzzle in there during one of our many lessons together, Archie.”

This was a new development but he could have seen the puzzle himself and solved it. It didn’t follow that he had put it in there; if he hadn’t, then Jacob might still be coming. I still said nothing and we reached the edge of the plaza and stepped onto the tarmac of the car park.

“Get in and buckle up.”

“Why should we cooperate with you?” asked Nathan.

“Because if you don’t, I’ll kill you both right here.”

“You’re going to kill us anyway.”

“Yes, that’s true but not before you’ve done what I needed you to do in the beginning.”

“I think we’ll stay here, Anthony, if it’s all the same to you.”

“No, you have to do what I need you to do. If you do what I want, then I’ll spare Jacob’s life.”

I started at the sound of his name and Nathan turned back.

“You’re bluffing. You have nothing, just the gun ... don’t let him fuck with your head, Archie.”

I tried to smile.

“What about the guy at the gift shop?”

“What about him? I’ll kill him if I have to.”

“I never took you for a cold-blooded killer, Anthony, I have to say.”

“Please be quiet, Nathan ... now get in the truck.”

We opened the driver’s door and scooted in and Anthony got in the back seat.

“Place the key in the ignition and start the engine.”

Nathan complied.

“Good, now drive out of the complex and stop when I tell you to.”

I just sat looking out of the window, trying to control the shaking and my only glimmer of hope was that Jacob was still coming and would somehow save us.

“Stop here, turn off the engine.”

Again Nathan complied and it seemed utterly hopeless unless Jacob showed up but Anthony had a gun and someone was going to get hurt.

“What now?” asked Nathan.

“Patience, Nathan … so quick to look death in the eye; enjoy these last few moments.”

“We won’t cooperate.”

“I’ll kill Jacob and Joseph if you don’t.”

“No, you won’t. Joseph is more powerful than you and you don’t know where Jacob is ... you saw the puzzle in the wallet and solved it before we left Joseph’s. You’re hoping Jacob doesn’t show just as much as we hope he does.”

“Fucking shut up, Nathan!”

“How are you going to make Archie do what you want?”

“I’ll kill you if he doesn’t.”

“Then you’d best kill me now because I don’t want him to do whatever it is you’ve got planned.”

“He’ll do it to save you.”

“No he won’t; we’ve already agreed on that.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Try it then.”

“Archie, turn on the stereo system and you’ll find a CD in the slot; it’s the last recording. Press ‘play’ and sit back and relax for the next hour ... if you don’t, I’m going to put a bullet in Nathan’s head and then one in yours.”

I only had one thought; I couldn’t sit by and let Anthony take Nathan away from me without a fight.

“I’m sorry, Nathan, I’m going to do as he says.”

Despite shaking like a leaf, I managed to switch on the player and press the button and within seconds, I could hear the sweet and heavy tones of the voice which had invaded my nights all those months ago as I’d listened to all of Anthony’s tapes which were part of my ‘lessons’.

“Just close your eyes, Archie.”

I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before now; I closed my eyes and turned them inward; the picture invaded my mind like it always did and in the absence of my pencil and paper, I sketched it on my palm with the index finger of my drawing hand. The voice was obliterated. If only Nathan realised what I was doing. The hour was soon up and Nathan shook me gently to bring me back to the land of the living.

“Good ... start the car, Nathan, and take the road down to Shively Park.”

I kind of jolted, knowing that Gus was there. Christ how I prayed that he would somehow rescue us but we were hours from the deadline of noon and he wasn’t expecting us back until then unless we had met Jacob. Nathan drove slowly and steadily.

“Does Joseph know what you’re doing, Anthony?” he asked calmly.

“Joseph has used my services many times in the past. How does an orphan get to be as wealthy as him unless they have some keen advantage over the competition?”

“When did you meet him?”

“We met on the streets. He saved my life and I’ve improved his.”

“How?”

“Mind control. Infiltrate a business rival’s organisation, plant our ‘seeds’ and wait for the harvest.”

“How is Archie going to help you then?”

“You don’t really expect me to tell you, do you?”

“It doesn’t matter now, does it? You’ll kill us both once he’s done what you want him to do.”

“If Archie does exactly what I want him to do, then neither of you will be harmed.”

Silence descended and we were just minutes from the park and the road which looped around one corner that allowed vehicle access - the one we had used to drop off the trailer with Gus.

“Pull in by that trailer, Nathan, and stop the engine. Take out the key and hand it back to me then get out of the car and close the door. Walk away, don’t turn back.”

Nathan pulled in by the trailer but Gus and the horses were nowhere to be seen. He stopped and applied the handbrake, turned off the ignition and withdrew the key, passing it over his shoulder to Anthony who took it from him. He released his seatbelt and turned to me.

“Do what he wants, Archie and you’ll be safe.”

I couldn’t look and just nodded, shaking tears from my eyes in the process.

“Get out, Nathan. Close the door and walk away.”

We both knew that he was going to get a bullet in his back as soon as he hit the tree line.

He had his hand on the door lock release lever and had started to pull it when the glass of the rear window was smashed and a sound like a coconut being split could be heard but that was drowned out by the blood curdling scream which lasted for two or three seconds and then silence, peppered by the tinkle of glass and heavy breathing.

Chapter Ten – Requiem

“Thanks, Gus ...”

Nathan had spoken; I was immobilised.

“Comanche died young and bravely; our enemies died less bravely.”

“Is he dead?”

“Reckon so; best we haul this out and dump it else the blood will stain the seat and carpet.”

Nathan got out and I was aware of the movement behind me and the rocking of the truck as Anthony’s body was pulled out and they dragged it into the scrub and hurried back.

“Nathan ... Nathan ... NATHAN!”

I barely had time to throw myself out of the truck and onto the ground where I puked up my guts. Within seconds, Nathan was over me and hauling me to my feet and crushing me to his body.

“It’s over ... shush ... all done now.”

By degrees, I regained something like composure and turned to seek out Gus’s face.

“You killed him ...”

“Yes, I did.”

I tore myself away from Nathan and flew into his embrace, knowing that he was, without doubt, the closet thing I’d have to a father in this life.

“Let’s get out of here,” Gus urged.

Nathan hopped back into the cab, first retrieving the keys from the rear passenger foot well and he backed up to hook the trailer on.

“I can’t hear the horses, Gus,” I said.

He turned and blew out the sharpest and clearest whistle, just once. Two minutes later, the horses appeared, being led by a man, who at that distance was indistinguishable.

“Who ...?”

He and the horses moved closer, but my view was partly obscured by the trailer as Nathan swung round. I felt my feet wanting to move in that direction. Nacoma’s neighing drowned out the sound of the voices at the rear of the trailer.

“C’mon, Archie,” Gus said softly.

I finally regained control of muscles and brain waves and headed to the back of the trailer.

“NO!”

But the Great Spirit couldn’t protect me from any more shocks and I just fell, into the pit with the demon.

Chapter Eleven – Peoples of the Four Winds

My protection from the effects of the CD which Anthony had played in the truck was untried and untested. Turning inwards and concentrating on the picture to obliterate the sound of the voice had worked, least I thought it had, and in my conscious normal brain I knew nothing had changed, nothing had been tampered with. The shock, or more accurately, the succession of shocks that had culminated in the discovery of who was holding the horses had catapulted me back into the place where I sought out the picture; I guess as some kind of protective mechanism, my sanctuary in the darkest hours. The picture that awaited me was very different to anything I had experienced before.

I was in the pit. I was suspended in the air in the middle of the cavern and there were four young Comanche braves on horses like Nacoma in each of the four corners. From the pommel of their saddles, extended ropes that were wound around my wrists and ankles. I was held in this state of suspended animation by the force being exerted by the horses and riders as they tried to leave the pit by their own separate ways. If I pulled on one alone, the other three reared, and the pain bit into my flesh like fangs and ragged talons. It was all I could do to keep the tension equal between them but I couldn’t move.

“He was going to sacrifice himself for me.”

I found the strength to pull the four ropes towards me and the horses had no power to resist it.

“I would have saved him if I had needed to; if there had been a way, I would have done whatever needed to have been done.”

The ropes strained but again the horses moved closer and their hooves slipped under the loose stones as they raged against the power that was irresistible.

“I love him and he loves me.”

I could taste the sweat of the horses as they strained against the ropes; the riders whipped them but they made no counter-progress.

“I am pledged to him and he is pledged to me, forever.”

The horses were pulled to me, inescapable energy pulled them closer and closer and the cries of the braves were as blood-curdling as Anthony’s had been in the back of the cab.

“Let the four winds unite and bring forth the Nation of the Comanche and let it be strong.”

The four riders and their mounts disappeared into my chest and I woke up.

Chapter Twelve – Surprises not shocks

I was lying in a clean, white draped bed and I recognised the style of the beams across the ceiling as those in Gus’s house. I couldn’t move yet; I was still pinned beneath the energy that I had drawn into my chest. Gus walked in and saw me awake and he smiled but he pressed a finger to his lips and I smiled. He kissed my forehead and left the room again. I heard the sound of footsteps approaching the room and closed my eyes.

“Where is it, Gus?”

“On the bedside table ...”

I felt the presence draw closer; the energy, the scent of horses and the tack room, his sweat and sex. I couldn’t help myself and I opened my eyes slowly.

“Oh Jesus, he’s awake ... GUYS!”

“Hey Nath ...” I croaked.

‘Oh my God, you’re back. It’s been such ... what the fuck happened?”

“Shock reflex, you won’t believe where I was.”

“You won’t believe how long you were there.”

But before he could explain that comment, Gus and Jacob entered the room.

“Jacob!” I managed to cry out hoarsely.

“Archie ... I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault ... it was just the shock, it was too much.”

“You’re back with us, praise be to the gods.”

“How long have I been out of it?” and I scanned the faces and no one seemed eager to tell me, “C’mon, how long?”

“Today’s your birthday,” replied Nathan quietly, eventually.

I did the mental arithmetic.

“Three and half months!”

“Give or take a day, it’s the 28th today.”

I must have looked like I was about to descend into the pit all over again, so Gus ushered out Jacob and himself and left me with Nathan.

“I don’t believe it; it felt like seconds, minutes.”

“We thought you were dead for a while; you were so cold and your heartbeat was so faint; I couldn’t see your skin against the sheet because it was so white.”

“I was fighting the four winds.”

“Oh yeah, you were doing that and some!”

“I can’t believe we’re all here. Jacob ... he came like the message said.”

“He met Gus in the park. He was camping and Gus struck up conversation with him and when he heard the accent he knew it had to be him.”

“How did Gus know that Anthony was in the car?”

“It’s what mobile phones are for and predictive text.”

“You texted Gus whilst you were in the cab?”

“Whilst the CD was playing. It drowned out the noise of the keypad; it was in my pocket so I had to do it blind.”

“Fuck! And he killed him.”

“With his axe, straight across the back of the head, smashed it just like an eggshell.”

“Where’s the body?”

“Still in the park or eaten; we don’t know anything about that.”

“And Joseph?”

“Jacob can tell you.”

“Is he staying?”

“Yes; who do you think has been looking after you for the last three and half months?”

“I thought you had.”

“Jacob did days and I did nights.”

“and Gus?”

“Is Comanche; what did you expect?”

“And now?”

“Later … just rest.”

“I just want to-”

“Shush ... later.”

He kissed me on the lips and the fire spread out like the tongues of flame in the sagebrush caught by the breeze and I felt it infuse my entire body.

“You’ve got you colour back.”

“We’ve got each other back.”

I was suddenly tired and I did sleep for a bit and when I woke up, Jacob was sat by the bed, holding my hand.

“Jacob,” I smiled.

He kissed me on the cheek, part lover and part friend.

“Archie, my prayers were answered.”

“But you came like the puzzle said.”

“I thought I’d been so careful, I had no idea that Anthony had seen it. I’ve wished that you’d never solved it but I’m glad now.”

“Me too ... what about Joseph?”

Jacob looked down for a moment.

“I’m going to tell you some things, Archie, which aren’t very pleasant but I think you should know the truth.”

I just looked at him.

“Joseph is a kind and generous man but he’s a ruthless tyrant as well. He and Anthony worked for years together, amassing their wealth through the mind control games that Anthony had perfected. When Joseph rescued me, he recruited me into their dealings … I have done some terrible things ...”

His voice was breaking.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s as may be ...”

“What was he planning to do with me?”

“I don’t want to recall that just now. It may be better that you never know.”

“Does Nathan know?”

“No, I haven’t told him either. I don’t think I will tell you, far better you don’t know; it’s over.”

“So what now?”

“That’s for you to decide; Gus has invited us all to stay.”

“But we don’t have visas or anything.”

“We have everything we need. See it as Joseph’s debt repaid in full. You, me and Nathan are free.”

“Are you staying?”

“Yes, I’m looking after the house and Gus. He’s getting too old though he won’t ever admit to that.”

“I have to speak to Nathan.”

“Of course and you must do what you think is right and best for you both but you can stay and we have money ... there’s plenty of time for that and you have to fully recover.”

“Again!”

“I’m here and Nathan is here, it won’t take too long to have you back on your feet and in the saddle.”

“Thank you, Jacob; you saved us.”

“My naivety almost cost you your lives again.”

“Anthony was evil; it took all of us to stand up to him in the end.”

“I’m glad he’s dead; I never thought I would say those words about anyone.”

“I’d like to speak to Nathan.”

“Okay.”

He left and Nathan appeared immediately.

“He told me ... do you want to stay?”

“Yes, if you do. I want to work alongside Benjamin and we can stay, legally.”

“Yes, I know and Jacob is staying.”

“What do you really want to do?”

“I want to stay.”

“Good, Gus will be very happy.”

“What about Anthony’s death; shouldn’t we come clean?”

“We discussed it. But if you’d heard what he made Jacob do then you’d agree that having his skull crushed was too good for him. The debt is paid, Archie.”

I’d done dishonest things in the past, and although Gus had dealt the fatal blow, we were all accomplices and I just wondered if ultimately that would poison our minds.

“Lie down with me, Nathan.”

He did and he didn’t leave my side that night and in the morning, we went out to find the others hand-in-hand.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Epilogue and the end of part 2

“Where’s Archie?” gasped Nathan, breathless from having run from the stables.

“In the studio,” replied Jacob.

“Archie ... ARCHIE!”

I popped my head round the door but I knew what was happening, “... she’s gone into labour ...”

We both ran back to the stables to witness Ayasha give birth to twins, twin black stallion foals; it had never happened in anyone’s memory.

Gus hobbled over to see them, beaming despite the pain.

“Nocona and Quan ...”

It was still his right; we didn’t mind, we both saw the future, twin black arrows streaking across the plains.

“Gus, it’s cold; come back to the house.”

“Don’t fuss me, Jacob!”

Despite that, he reached out for the proffered arm and hobbled back; only Jacob could get away with fussing him.

Nathan and I wandered back a bit later, after Ayasha and the foals were settled and Benjamin had been to check up on them.

“We should sleep in the stable tonight.”

“Yes, Nathan,” I replied slyly.

“For the horses’ sake.”

“Of course, Nathan.”

“Come here.”

“I’m not running.”

“My body art needs repairing.”

“Of course it does, Nathan.”

“I’ll have it tattooed in the Spring ...”

“You say that every time ... I repainted it yesterday so we both know that you just want an excuse for me to touch you.”

“It got smudged ... anyway, is any excuse needed?”

“No!”

“Let me kiss you.”

“Like the first time.”

“You said that it felt like the Universe had been re-created on your lips.”

“It does feel like that. Though I try, I can never capture the beauty in the picture that comes after, it’s beyond my skill.”

“Then it must be a rare beauty indeed.”

“It is and you are.”

Demon Rider

The third part of ‘Brave’

By

Alp Mortal

Text Copyright© 2014 Alp Mortal

All Rights Reserved

Note on part 3

I’m dedicating this story to Liz for her unstinting support and unflinching use of Post-its®.

All paths travelled be safe

Alp

Energy follows intention

Chapter One

“I fucking hate you, you piece of shit, fucking untie me ... UNTIE ME you cunt ... Nathan, untie me, fucking cunt, fucking motherfucking cunt ... NATHAN!”

Impassive, impregnable, immovable and unemotional; all of the things that Nathan never was but he has to be now.

This continuous stream of foul insults can last for hours. I’m on the edge of reason, teetering on the brink and I don’t think I can withstand another onslaught. The cracks are widening and I can see the abyss and the monster that waits. It whispers to me, urging me to lie to Nathan so that he’ll untie me and I can escape and then I can get on with the task in hand. If he didn’t love me so much, I’m sure I’d have succeeded by now. I’ll go quiet, he always relaxes a little then and I might be able to get under his defences.

“Please don’t do this.”

“Fucking shut up, Archie. Once I’ve done it then I’ll give you back your brain and your precious Nathan.”

“Please go away, you don’t exist, you shouldn’t be here, we dealt with you, Anthony.”

“Stupid weak fucking prick, did you think the last tape was it, the WHAM and all those others that you so dutifully listened to were just to help you learn your tables and algebra, IDIOT!”

“Stop shouting or I’ll go to the place.”

“Go there, you’re getting weaker, it doesn’t last so long anymore does it, soon it won’t work at all ...”

“Great Spirit, please join me to cast out the demon ... Great Spirit, please join me to cast out the demon ... Nathan, help me, I can’t do it alone, he’s getting stronger and stronger ...”

“Just concentrate, Archie, seek out the place, ignore him, he doesn’t exist.”

“I love you, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault; we didn’t know ... concentrate.”

“I’m trying.”

I break into pitiful sobs because I’m so tired. Nathan advances and puts his cheek against mine, it’s a mistake.

“Ouch!”

“Ha! That’ll teach you.”

I’ve bitten Nathan on the cheek and drawn blood.

“Nathan, I can’t get there, he’s blocking my way. Please kill me, do it please ... please do it, you promised if it came to this you would, if you love me then kill me, put your hands around my throat and squeeze ... NATHAN!”

“Fetch Gus ...”

Jacob’s Ordeal 1

“Did you understand everything I said, Jacob; are my instructions clear?”

“Y-E-S”

“Good; in thirty minutes you will wake up and you will not remember this conversation. Tomorrow, at nine o’clock in the morning, you will deliver the package as instructed.”

Anthony left, leaving Jacob in the high backed chair by the fire, apparently asleep.

“Did he accept the control?”

“Yes, I think he did, Joseph. Tomorrow will tell us otherwise.”

Promptly at nine the following morning, Jacob walked into the smart lobby of an office building in the business district and strode confidently up to the reception desk.

“Good morning; my name is Dominion Franks and I have an appointment with Steven Baker.”

“Good morning, Mr Franks, that’s fine. Please sign in and take the elevator to the seventh floor. Angelica will be waiting for you.”

“Thank you.”

Jacob ascended in the elevator and exited into the smaller reception area to be met by Steven’s secretary. Pleasantries exchanged and a coffee ordered, Jacob waited to be seen by the CEO of the company in which Joseph was a key shareholder.

“Mr Franks, please come in,” said Steven.

Jacob spent fifteen minutes with Steven, after which, he descended to the main lobby, signed out of the visitors’ book and left to go back to Joseph’s apartment, using the subway. When he entered the apartment, he heard the television and the voices of Joseph and Anthony.

“Jacob, come through,” called out Joseph, “... how did it go?” he added once Jacob had appeared in the room.

“Fine, the package was delivered.”

“Excellent! You might want to watch this breaking news report ...”

The TV was never turned off but usually it displayed stock market data and financial news updates. The reporter was stood in front of the office building that Jacob had visited that morning and had left barely an hour ago. There were ambulances and police cars drawn up outside and people milling about.

“Steven Baker, CEO of the ‘365 Corporation’, was shot dead by police as he tried to shoot his way out of the building ... he shot seven employees and two visitors before police brought him down in the lobby ...”

“Mission accomplished.”

Anthony spoke the words and they acted like a trigger to bring Joseph into the ‘here and now’ as he called it.

“What happened?” Jacob asked, pointing at the TV screen.

“Stephen Baker went on a killing spree. He was shot dead by police but not before he killed nine innocent bystanders ...”

“That’s terrible ...”

“Yes, it is, tragic in fact. I’m going to propose that Simon De Lange is given day-to-day control whilst Stephen’s successor is found.”

“What about your investment, Joseph?” Jacob asked.

Joseph looked over his shoulder at another screen and squinted for a second.

“Has just increased in value by three hundred and eighty percent ...”

“That’s marvellous news, Joseph.”

“Yes, it is ...”

Chapter Two

“Gus!”

“Hey there, Archie.”

“Please help me ... Nathan can’t do it and I understand why but you understand; please just do it, quick ...”

The old Comanche warrior stepped forward but even though his joints were playing up, his eyesight wasn’t failing him and just as he stepped within striking distance, he saw the subtle change in Archie’s demeanour and stopped in his tracks.

“NO! NOT FAIR!” the demon screamed.

“Please go away, please ...” and Archie’s voice was beginning to sound thin and reedy.

“Shut up, you stupid fuck!”

Gus turned to Nathan.

“It’s breaking through the wall and I don’t think anything we do now is going to help much ... Nathan, he might be right.”

“NO! He has to fight this and he has to survive. I will not murder him.”

Jacob arrived, just back from town.

“I heard the shout,” directed at no one in particular.

“Ah, Jacob,” and the voice was silky and gentle.

“Hello, Archie.”

“Jacob, I want to talk to you alone. Can you send the others away please?”

Jacob glanced at the others, not that it was necessary since he had no intention of sending them away.

“Why don’t you want the others to hear what you’re going to tell me?”

“They are CUNTS and SHIT EATERS ... FUCKING LET ME GO!”

Archie slumped, for real this time, and the trio left and headed to the house. Nathan checked on the horses en route and then the men convened around the kitchen table.

“Jacob, do you still feel it’s the only way?” asked Nathan.

“It is the only sure-fire way but there is no guarantee that he will help.”

“But do we ask?”

“If we do then all is revealed and we, but you in particular, will be in his sights.”

“If we don’t do something then Archie will die, I’m sure of it. I think he’ll kill himself if he gets the chance and in any event, we can’t keep him tied up and locked up forever ...”

“Gus, what do you think?”

“What have we got to lose? Joseph can’t send Anthony to fight us.”

“No, true, Joseph is strong but not stronger than us three together and we would have to be together.”

“That’s easy ... call him, Jacob, and ask him what he wants to release Archie.”

“Be prepared to pay up; he won’t offer twice … if he offers once.”

“Call him, Jacob; we’ll give him anything.”

“If you’re sure, Nathan; after this there will be no going back.”

“I’m sure.”

Jacob took a second to compose himself and then he drew out a phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. One last check around the table and interpreting the silence as their final decision, he dialled and placed the handset to his ear.

“Joseph ... yes, that is what we want ... I’ll have to consult with the others first but you have a provisional ‘yes’ ... one month ... not good ... yes, it has broken through; today in fact ... he has requested it but we have said no ... Nathan disagrees, vehemently! ... I’ll call tomorrow at the same time with our final answer ... goodnight, Joseph.”

“What does he want?”

Jacob placed the phone back in his pocket.

“My mind, body and soul for Archie’s.”

“No way!”

“Nathan, if we don’t, Archie won’t survive now that the ‘legate’ has broken through. We will soon lose him completely and Joseph won’t be able to help then in any event.”

“But Jacob, you can’t go back to that.”

“Joseph will be lenient, of that I am sure.”

“Did he suggest we give in to Archie’s demands?”

“Yes and I said that you disagreed; he just chuckled. I think he finds the image of you two ‘retro’ Comanche braves quite amusing.”

“How will it work?”

“Joseph has the command words and he’ll exchange them for me.”

“How will we know that it’s worked and the demon has gone for good?”

“Archie will know, just like I did.”

“But Jacob, we can’t just trade you for Archie.”

“We don’t have a choice.”

“Will he come?”

“He’ll have to, to put me under and then escort me back.”

“Perhaps we can work out a way of-”

“Nathan, don’t even think it.”

“I have to talk to Archie.”

“Be quick; soon he won’t be able to get through at all.”

Nathan quit the table and left Jacob and Gus to stare at each other across it.

“Jacob, this is the way I see it ...”

Nathan wandered across the yard and into the stable where Archie was ‘housed’. He needed to tend to him anyway; no doubt he had soiled himself again, almost certainly pissed himself. The soiling was getting less of a problem as he ate less.

“Nathan!”

“Archie ...”

“He’s gone for a second, please hold me.”

Without hesitation he went to him and hugged as best he could, grabbing a kiss but keeping his tongue out of Archie’s mouth.

“I didn’t mess myself today,” Archie reported triumphantly once they had broken off the embrace.

“Excellent; do you need to wee?”

“No, I’m good ...”

“Archie ...”

“Yes, Nath.”

“Joseph will release you but only in exchange for Jacob agreeing to go back under the influence and return to him.”

“No!”

“Unfortunately, that’s the only deal on the table.”

“He can’t go back. I’d rather die than let him suffer any more.”

“He knows that too.”

“Won’t Joseph take something else?”

“Joseph doesn’t want anything except Jacob.”

“Please don’t agree to it yet ... I can try harder ...”

“Twenty-four hours, then the deals off.”

“Shit! You downloaded those mantras off of the Internet; I’ll work on those again ...”

“Arch, it won’t do any good, now that the ‘demon’ has broken through ...”

“I’ll try harder ... for Jacob’s sake.”

“Okay, we’ll try again in the morning. Do you want to go to sleep now?”

“Yes, before he comes back. It’s always better if I go off before he comes back. Then I can get to the chamber and the four warriors will keep him at bay until the morning.”

Swiftly Nathan administered the injection and within ten seconds, Archie slumped and his head fell to his chest. Nathan untied him and like so many days before, he bathed him and dried him and put him in clean clothes before lowering him onto the cot. Once he’d undressed himself, he got in beside him and held him tightly, trying to recall all the beautiful moments that they had shared both in and out of bed.

“... Great Spirit, kindred spirit

Awaken the dead, the brave, the noble and the true

To ride out across the plains

The enemy is near and threatens our children

Bring the four winds and I will bring the four horses and

Together we will ride and crush our foes under our hooves and

Keep the children safe.”

Nathan had composed this poem, or ‘mantra’ as he thought of it as, not long after Archie had started to need to be restrained. They had worked on it together and at that time, Archie had chanted it to send himself off to sleep; it had worked then; it still sent Nathan off to sleep though.

At three in the morning, he was woken by the jolts. It signalled that the battle had commenced in earnest and the ‘demon’ was thrashing about in there, trying to get free of the four winds; some hope. Still, a jolt every few seconds wasn’t going to aid his restful sleep much but he comforted himself with the thought that however bad it got for him, it was a hundred times worse for Archie. He hugged tighter and pressed his lips to the back of Archie’s neck, getting hard in the process. He pushed his cock between Archie’s thighs and just let it rest there. It didn’t stop the tears from running down his face.

Chapter Three

Before Archie woke, Nathan had him back in the chair and restrained then he went off to get breakfast for them both.

“How was he?”

“Restless, but not too bad.”

“Once Gus is up and about, we’ll talk.”

“Okay; I’m gonna have breakfast now before Archie wakes up, then I’ll try to get something inside him; he’s lost eight kilos already.”

“At this rate, he’ll be dead before another month is up.”

“Yeah, I know ...”

Nathan took breakfast back to the stable and set himself up at the table in front of Archie, who was still out for the count and peaceful at last. As he scooped the eggs into his mouth, he recalled how things had started. He did so often, just in case he’d missed a vital clue, anything that might help turn this around and save Archie and now Jacob.

Nothing bad had happened after Anthony had been despatched by Gus. They’d gotten back to the ranch and Archie had finally woken up from his ordeal. The twin foals had been born and in actual fact, everything seemed to be going right, perfect in fact. Gus’s arthritis started to get bad with the colder, damper weather but Jacob looked after him. Nathan and Archie were busy with minor repairs and looking after the horses. One morning, Archie had been working in the yard and Michael had come over to check on the foals. They’d spoken at length as Nathan worked and watched from the barn. He couldn’t be sure but at one point he sensed that Archie reacted in a particular way to something Michael had said. There had been a kind of spasm, a shudder but nothing untoward had happened immediately afterwards and he’d forgotten about it. Even now, Michael couldn’t recall anything he had said that might have constituted a trigger.

Nathan had noticed something the next time they’d made love. Archie was unusually rough, where he was never rough; enthusiastic he was but never rough. It must have registered on Nathan’s face because Archie questioned it and it led to their very first argument. Nathan had written that off to bad timing but a seed of something started to grow in his brain and he began to see other signs and every time it was always because Archie was unusually rough or angry.

Archie had realised something himself when he became heavy handed with the foals and Michael had cautioned him and it triggered an ‘episode’; an outburst of the foulest language and cruellest insults. Archie had realised what he’d done and had then panicked. He’d jumped on Ayasha and ridden off and only Nathan could catch him. When he did, he heard the ‘voice’ for the first time; the viperous tongue that flicked in and out with the fangs poised for the lunge, all behind the feigned smile, which the eyes betrayed.

The ‘episodes’ had escalated and when Archie had started to physically threaten them, something had to be done. It culminated one evening when during a kiss, Nathan felt Archie clamp down and knew he was going to attempt to bite off his tongue. There was an internal struggle, and thankfully there was, because it gave Nathan time to get his fingers into Archie’s mouth and extricate himself. Then everything changed.

Now he was a prisoner, tied up unless he was drugged. The ‘demon’, as he called it, refused food or drinks, gave vent to the foulest possible language and at any opportunity would lash out. In one particular case, the ‘demon’ had made Archie bite down on his own tongue and then spew the blood over Nathan as he tried to force the mouth guard in; he said he was ‘anointing himself’.

Of course this was very upsetting for everyone, not least for Archie himself, who, even if he’d been ‘out of it’ during the episode, was made to remember it by the legate afterwards. Nathan had never heard anything so cruel or calculating. It reminded him constantly of Anthony and the sound of his voice at the tower that day.

In periods during which Archie was able to maintain control, they worked on mental exercises to expel the beast; mantras, visioning, drawing and drumming with Gus’s help. It helped to a degree, particularly at the start, and the most effective of these was the drawing which required Archie to turn inward to focus on the picture. Nathan knew when even that defence was beginning to breakdown, when the resulting sketches became increasingly violent in their subjects and often they depicted torture and death.

When Archie began to plead to be ‘put out of his misery’, Nathan had begun to despair and then Jacob had stepped in and suggested that they contact Joseph.

They had, more than a month ago now, and Jacob had spoken to him. At that time, Joseph merely confirmed that the process had obviously been started by a trigger word and when asked if he would give them the ‘cleansing’ word, he’d just laughed and hung up the phone.

“Anthony was his prize asset. He won’t forgive you for killing him, despite the initial trouble after we fled. Joseph survived that and I think he’ll relish extracting the most out of this,” Jacob said.

“When his car hit Archie and he took him in to look after him, was that an act of kindness or ...”

“Recruitment ... if I remember correctly, my leg was broken in three places and the knee joint was smashed.”

“Are there any more like you and Archie?”

“Perhaps; maybe before my time. Some are probably still walking around completely oblivious to the bomb ticking away inside their head.”

“Jesus! For what?”

“Money and power, Nathan, it corrupts and it has corrupted Joseph completely; no, not completely but as good as.”

Chapter Four

“Hey!”

“Morning ...”

“Can you eat?”

“Yeah.”

Quickly Nathan got the food and forked as much as possible into his mouth as he could. Archie barely chewed and within a minute or two, the eggs were gone and he managed to get some bread down and some juice.

“Shit! I need to go; keep the coffee warm.”

Archie turned in and Nathan went back to the table. If Archie didn’t go to his ‘place’, the one where he found the pictures, as soon as he’d eaten, the legate would make him throw up and the effort of feeding him was wasted. Archie couldn’t draw now, not on paper, so he drew in another place within his mind and it formed a barrier, a wall through which the legate could not easily pass. That had held but it was weakening now. Today’s effort might buy some time so that they could work on some other things.

An hour later and Archie was back and despite feeling exhausted he didn’t allow himself to fall asleep and quickly polished off whatever food was left, drank two cups of coffee and smoked a cigarette, all done whilst tied to the chair. Nathan didn’t release him from the chair unless he was drugged.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, buddy, you don’t need to thank me.”

“Shall we work on the mantras?”

“Yeah and Jacob wants to speak to you.”

“Best he does that first ... can I have another cigarette before you go?”

“Sure”

They sat quietly whilst Archie smoked a cigarette and then Nathan fetched Jacob, leaving them to it, taking the opportunity to ride Nacoma out with Ayasha following. The foals were in the pen still getting used to their legs.

“Archie ...”

“Hello, Jacob.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay at the moment; I got some breakfast down and had two coffees and two cigarettes.”

“Do you want another?”

“Yeah!”

Whilst he poured the coffee and lit the tab, Jacob said, “I called Joseph ...”

“I know; Nathan said but you can’t, Jacob. You can’t sacrifice yourself for me ... we shouldn’t give up.”

Jacob turned and walked towards Archie, eyes trained on the patient, searching for any sign that the beast had sneaked in.

“It wouldn’t be a sacrifice, Archie. Joseph will be lenient ... he isn’t as strong as he used to be.”

“But you wouldn’t be free.”

“Freer than you are now.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You wouldn’t but if we don’t do something, I’m going to lose you.”

“Perhaps Joseph will take something else.”

“He values nothing as highly as he values that which he can control.”

“If he were here, we could talk to him.”

“Perhaps if he saw the state you’re in it might re-awaken some compassion. The loss of Anthony was a terrible blow to him and I don’t think he will forgive that so easily.”

“What if I just do the thing he wants me to do? Then perhaps he’d let me go.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy for you to do it. But would you be so happy when you remembered it, because you would, eventually.”

“You survived.”

“I did or I should say, I am, but the nightmares never go away, Archie.”

“They can’t be as bad as this.”

“No, probably not but if you killed someone, would you be able to live with yourself?”

“How do you live with yourself?”

“Uneasily ...”

“Maybe if we knew what it was he wanted me to do; perhaps it doesn’t involve killing anyone.”

“Perhaps it doesn’t. When I call him tonight, I’ll ask. If he tells me, then we’ll discuss it again.”

“Okay ...”

The word didn’t quite get formed correctly and Jacob knew that the beast was back and before Archie could say anything else, he left quickly, not wishing to hear that voice.

He met Nathan in the yard.

“Okay?”

“It’s back.”

“Shit! We didn’t do any work this morning.”

Jacob recounted the conversation he’d had with Archie and they agreed a time to meet up later with Gus. Nathan returned to the stable.

“Nathan!”

The voice was almost childlike in its innocence and openness.

“Don’t try that on me.”

“But Nathan ...”

“Anthony, FUCK YOURSELF!”

The little part of Archie that had to remain on the side-line and watch just crumpled in a heap.

For the most part that day, Archie was left alone. It was better for everyone, especially Archie, if he didn’t get upset. If he did, it drained his scant reserves and only fed the beast.

At the appointed time, Jacob called Joseph again and asked the question. His face didn’t betray the responses he received and the others just looked on, implacable but expectant.

“He is coming at the end of week. At that time, he will offer Archie the choice; do the job he was being primed to do or exchange him for me.”

“Did he give any clue?”

“None.”

“So we wait.”

“It’s all we can do.”

Gus had said nothing up to this point.

“Can anyone be put under his control or does it have to be you or Archie?”

“I don’t know, Gus, but I can guess why you’re asking ...”

“Nathan, I’m old. Don’t let me die of a heart attack ... let me fight.”

“Gus, please! Let’s just wait until Joseph is here and then we’ll decide.”

And that was the agreement and it was as if the beast knew its master was coming, for the week was quiet and uneventful and Archie had a chance to recover some strength.

The day before Joseph arrived, Nathan went to see Archie to tell him what was going on. They had tried to keep him in the dark as much as possible; keeping the beast starved of information usually worked to a degree.

“Joseph will be here tomorrow.”

“Good ...”

“Nothing has been agreed, Archie.”

“When he sees me he’ll change his mind and let me go, of that I’m sure.”

“I can’t say I feel that confident, Arch. I’m sure he’ll take Jacob in your place ...”

“I don’t want Jacob to sacrifice himself for me.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“Then maybe I should just do as he asks and then we’ll all be safe.”

“Kill someone?”

“I might not have to.”

“But if you did?”

“We’d all be safe.”

“Let’s just see ...”

“Can I see the horses today?”

Nathan was just as good as Jacob at picking up on the subtle signs that the beast was back, “Maybe tomorrow after breakfast, Archie.”

“FUCK YOU, YOU MOTHER FUCKING CUNT ... YOU FUCKING QUEER PIECE OF SHIT ... YOU’RE A FUCKING COCK SUCKING BASTARD AND I HATE YOU.”

“See you later ...”

“NATHAN ... Nathan ... Nat’ ... please don’t leave me alone.”

It broke his heart every time.

Jacob’s Ordeal 2

“Who are you?”

The child had appeared from its bedroom and was standing by the door just as Jacob was about to descend the stairs.

“I’m the doctor; I just gave your daddy his medicine.”

“Is he sick?”

“It was a vitamin jab.”

“I take mine every day with my juice at breakfast.”

“Good boy, now go back to bed.”

“Daddy always gets me some milk and then tucks me in.”

“Okay; what if I get you some milk?”

“Okay; but you have to tuck me as well.”

“I promise.”

Jacob wandered down and fetched a glass of milk from the fridge and then returned with it.

“Hop into bed and drink this, then I’ll tuck you in.”

The child clambered back into bed and sat up, extending his hands to accept the beaker from Jacob. Jacob sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for the child to drain the cup.

“Good boy; you’ll grow big and strong. Lie down and I’ll tuck you in.”

“You have such a kind face, like an angel.”

“Thank you, I guess that makes you one of my cherubs.”

“Will you come again?”

“If your daddy needs another shot, then I’ll come again.”

“I had a shot when I fell and hurt myself on the rusty metal.”

“I expect you were brave.”

“I was, and I got a sticker.”

“It’s time to go to sleep now.”

“Okay. When mummy comes tomorrow to pick me up, I’m going to tell her all about you.”

“You know, I think I should give you a vitamin shot too. Then you won’t have to take any tomorrow at breakfast.”

“And I’ll have had a shot just like daddy and we’ll both get stickers.”

“Yes, I have some in my bag. Okay, this won’t hurt.”

“Ouch!”

“Sorry ... right, close your eyes and count to ten.”

He reached ‘six’ by the time Jacob was by the door and then fell silent.

“Goodnight, little man.”

An hour later at the apartment, Jacob walked in and found Joseph huddled over his desk with Anthony.

“Ah, the good doctor returns!”

“There was a witness that had to be dealt with.”

“And were they?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent!”

“Mission accomplished.”

“Jacob ... take a few days off and head down to the beach house.”

“Thank you, Joseph.”

“Not at all, we all need a break from the city from time to time.”

“What about the dinner with Franz?”

“He cancelled, feeling under the weather.”

“What a pity; it would have been a good opportunity to dissuade him from pulling out of the Hamburg deal.”

“We don’t need to worry about that anymore.”

“Goodnight, Joseph ... Anthony ...”

“Goodnight, Jacob.”

Chapter Five

“What time is he arriving?” asked Gus at breakfast the following day.

“Two o’clock,” replied Jacob.

“I’m taking the horses out. The waiting is unbearable and I can’t even go near Archie.”

“The beast senses that its time may be coming to an end,” offered Jacob.

The time came round soon enough and at two o’clock, a brand new rented Sebring pulled into the yard. Joseph stepped out and Jacob was very surprised to see that he was alone.

“Jacob!”

“Hello, Joseph.”

“Nathan ... good to see you.”

“Hello, Joseph, you too.”

“And you must be Gus.”

“That I am. Pleased to meet you ... why don’t we all go into the house?”

They trooped in and it was surreal; on the one hand, a gathering of old friends but on the other, the clash of mortal enemies in some respects.

“Where is Archie?” asked Joseph, “I’d like to see him as soon as possible.”

Gus and Jacob threw a quick glance at Nathan, inviting him to disclose the situation.

“In the stable-”

Joseph burst out laughing.

“ ... he’s safer out there ... as are we,” Nathan added.

“Yes,” and Joseph’s tone changed within a nanosecond, “I imagine you’re right ... take me to him.”

Gus stayed behind as Jacob and Nathan escorted Joseph to the stable. The atmosphere was so tense that the horses were spooked.

“Archie!” Joseph cried out as he entered, as if he were welcoming back a long lost and very dear friend. Archie had his head on his chest, feigning sleep. It was a posture that the others had seen many times. But within an instant, he whipped his head up and smiled, the viper’s smile.

“Joseph ...” and the name slipped out of his mouth and slithered across the floor.

“Am I talking to Archie or you, Anthony?”

The sound of the name made Nathan shiver and the beast just smiled more broadly, pushing forward its fangs just a little, until the tips were visible, each with a drop of poison hanging tantalisingly from the end.

“Archie sends his apologies, Joseph, but he’s feeling under the weather.”

“Ah, Anthony; so good to hear your voice again.”

“Are we leaving?”

“All in good time ... I just wanted to see you.”

“To make sure he was alive,” thought Nathan, “and if he had been dead, you’d be next, that we would all guarantee.”

“Shall we, gentlemen ... there are things to discuss and agree and of course, time is always of the essence.”

“JOSEPH!”

It was Archie.

“Archie ... how wonderful to hear your voice.”

“Joseph, please don’t take Jacob ... I ... I ... no, let me finish ... GO AWAY!”

“Gentlemen, time is running out ...”

They left Archie having his battle royal with Anthony. Nathan could barely keep it together and only Jacob’s reassuring hand on his arm stopped him from breaking down and almost certainly beating Joseph to death. They entered the house and found Gus. Seated around the table in the kitchen, the three men looked to Joseph to begin.

“You have my offer gentlemen; I take Archie or Jacob away with me.”

“Once the job is completed, Joseph, will they be able to return without the-”

“In Archie’s case, I will guarantee that as soon as he has performed the function that he was primed for, he will be released … cleansed. If Jacob comes, then probably not. Without Anthony my business is severely handicapped and Jacob would ‘fill the void’ so to speak ...”

“Does it have to be one of them?” asked Gus.

“Are you offering up yourself, Gus?”

“Does it have to be one of them?”

Joseph trained his eyes directly on Gus’s pupils but looked away pretty quickly and instead focused on Jacob who was looking down.

“No ... it doesn’t have to be Archie or Jacob ... it could be anyone, you or even Nathan for that matter.”

“If, and I ain’t saying I’m putting myself forward, but if I were to do it, could I come back?”

“Certainly and the same would be true of Nathan.”

“What is it that you want done, Joseph?” asked Nathan, “If we knew that, it would be easier to decide.”

“But if I tell you, then one of you might see fit to thwart the plan ...”

“We wouldn’t.”

“Let me think about that. Whoever it is would be gone for a week.”

“Does it involve killing anyone, Joseph?” asked Jacob.

“Why do you ask, Jacob?”

“If it does then I can’t let Archie, or anyone else, have that on his conscience. I’ll do it; one more won’t make a difference.”

“But if you come with me, Jacob, you won’t be coming back.”

“I know.”

“I’m going outside for a cigarette. When I come back in I will have made up my mind about telling you what it is that I want the person to do. I can’t be sure I’ll agree to tell you. Ten minutes ...”

Joseph stepped outside leaving the others at the table.

“What do we do, pick straws?” asked Gus.

“No ... I’ll do it; it’s easier for me,” suggested Jacob.

“But you’re the one that won’t come back, if it’s one of us, we would come back.”

“So he says, but you heard him say that his business is handicapped without Anthony. I would recommend that his word is treated very cautiously.”

“Fella’s, please let me do it. I’m the oldest and-”

“Gus! We’re all family and we don’t abandon family because they think they’re of no use anymore,” Nathan lobed in.

“But Nathan, I’m just itching to do something.”

“I know, Gus, but what if he’s lying about you coming back?”

“I’ll risk it; ‘cos if I don’t and Archie is lost to us, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“We all feel the same way, Gus,’” added in Jacob.

“So, take the willing volunteer.”

“Jesus!”

“I don’t know the man. The Great Spirit won’t abandon me.”

“No, but we’d be abandoning you!”

Joseph walked back in.

“Gentlemen, time is pressing on. I’ve decided that I can’t tell you what it is I want done, there’s just too much at risk ... so?”

“Take me,” answered Gus before anyone else had a chance.

“I will guarantee to let you come back, Gus … but the job itself is not without risk and I can’t hold your hand, so you have to accept that you might not come back.”

“I do ... let’s get going.”

“Joseph, please; can’t this all end?”

“Jacob, you know me better than anyone else. If I had any compassion, then the death of Anthony has ground it to dust; nothing is without consequence. You know how I work.”

“How will the exchange actually work, Joseph?”

“Yes, Nathan, good question. It works like this; obviously you won’t accept Gus being put under until Archie is out and I won’t accept Archie being released until Gus is under-”

“Joseph, just get on with it. If I’ve said I’ll do it then I’ll do it. Release Archie. I’m ready to go … Hell! Lock me in the car if it makes you feel better.”

Joseph settled his eyes on the old Comanche again and held his gaze for a fraction longer. He saw nothing that made him doubt the old man’s word.

“Fine ... Gus, get in the car ... Jacob ... Nathan ...”

“How will we know that he’s out?” asked Nathan.

“He’ll know, just like Jacob knew.”

“It’s fine, Nathan; he’ll know.”

“And will he be okay?”

“Nothing your expertise won’t soon bring right. He’ll be tired and quite possibly upset at all the nasty things he has said but he’ll be fine.”

They walked out and Gus headed straight for the car. Once he got in, Joseph locked the doors with the remote central locking key fob. They entered the stable and Archie was awake and ‘himself’.

“How does this actually work, Joseph?” asked Nathan.

“I’ll put him under and then I’ll say the words that will release him; Jacob can confirm with Archie that all is gone ... Can I suggest that you don’t let Archie see that Gus has volunteered until after we’ve left?”

“Why?”

“I think, Nathan, he’ll be upset enough when he finds out ... I’d like to avoid any dramatics if that is possible.”

“Fair enough.”

“Shall we then?”

They entered the stable.

“Please wait here by the door.”

Jacob and Nathan knew that Joseph didn’t want them to hear the command words and complied, just anxious to get the thing done. How the fuck they told Archie that Gus had gone was anyone’s guess.

“Archie, wakey-wakey!”

Joseph moved towards him whilst the other two men stayed by the door. Jacob just rested his hand on Nathan’s arm.

“It’ll be fine, Nathan; this is the best way.”

“I fucking hope you’re right; if Gus doesn’t come back, I vow-”

“Who are you?”

It was Archie. They quickly moved over and Joseph made a discrete exit as they began to untie the bonds, during which, Jacob was jabbering away and asking all sorts of weird and wonderful questions and the replies were no less sensible.

“He’s free, Nathan ... you’re free, Archie.”

“Who are you?”

Jacob’s Ordeal 3

“Cleopatra’s Needle …”

The words were a trigger and Anthony spoke them quietly so that no one else could hear. Jacob glazed over momentarily and then seemed to come back.

“Jacob?”

“Yes, Anthony.”

“Go to the bedroom, undress and lay down on the bed.”

“Of course, Anthony.”

He and Jacob were at a party. Jacob had chauffeured him in Joseph’s smart sedan. The assembled group were all business associates of Joseph’s, rich men getting richer on his advice and he on their patronage. ‘Star Gazer’ they called him, an oracle who revealed the secrets of a well-balanced and risk-averse portfolio of stocks that just kept on rising. Tonight was special, a celebration of another twelve months of triple digit investment returns.

Patrick had asked for something different by way of entertainment this time.

“What do you want, Patrick?”

“Someone willing.”

“Ah! Leave it to me.”

The smiles glittered like the chandelier above their heads.

The party was being held in the out of town obscene pile owned by a banker called Mizen Phelps.

“Gentlemen, your entertainment awaits you,” announced Anthony.

In groups, the men disappeared from the main salon and headed off for the bedroom where Jacob was lying on the bed. Quickly and expertly he was bound and then the fun started. Not just fucking, oh no, these men had appetites for the exotic and the downright sleazy. They fucked him, sometimes two at a time; rammed dildos up his arse until, even in his controlled state, he cried out and the blood flowed, staining the sheets and that merely drove them to perform even baser acts.

Satiated at last, they left the helpless Jacob to be cleaned up by a houseboy who was also under control that night. The boy helped him to the bathroom and put him into the shower where he carefully washed him. He dried him off and tended to the worse of the cuts.

“You’re still bleeding.”

“It’ll stop soon, thank you.”

“No problem.”

They conversed, but it was like they both existed in some tank filled with water in which they could breathe. It dulled the senses, made them languid and unresponsive, especially to pain. Their movements were slow and deliberate, their eyes unblinking and glazed over.

Having cleaned him up and treated his injuries the best way he could, the young boy escorted Jacob back to the party. Once delivered back, Anthony sidled over.

“Mission accomplished.”

“That wine is a little strong.”

“Are you fit to drive, Jacob?”

“Yes, I’m fine; I just need a coffee.”

“Fetch me one too would you?”

“Of course.”

The men eyed him surreptitiously, smirking and sharing lewd comments behind their hands. Jacob didn’t have a clue what had happened and that was the whole point of the entertainment; they’d raped him and he didn’t know it.

Later, back at home, he undressed for bed and gasped as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and saw the ‘damage’. He was just at the point of calling for Joseph when he had a sudden revelation. These injuries had not been there earlier, he could swear to that. This had happened at the party, so why couldn’t he remember any of it?

“What happened to you?”

“Ah, Anthony, I didn’t hear you ... I don’t know.”

“Did you fall and hit your head?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Perhaps we’ll drive over to the clinic tomorrow and get you checked out.”

“Yes, I think I should ... thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. By the way, there’s another of those language tapes for you to listen to tonight, it’s on your bedside table.”

“Thank you. Joseph is very happy with my progress.”

“Yes, he is, as am I ... goodnight, Jacob.”

“Goodnight.”

Chapter Six

“Archie?”

“Please don’t hurt me!”

The words were spoken quickly and it was as if the words themselves were his hands that rapidly moved up to protect his face. For the first time, Nathan truly understood something of Archie’s past.

“Archie! It’s Nathan and Jacob.”

“I didn’t steal anything; you can check my pockets.”

The eyes were wide and as innocent as those of the foals.

“Get Joseph!” cried Nathan, the anguish barely contained for Archie’s sake.

But it was too late; the car had already left. Just as Nathan surmised, Joseph hadn’t just cleansed Archie of the control; he’d cleansed him of everything that had happened from the second after the accident. It took superhuman control on Nathan’s part not to break down completely.

“We’re not going to hurt you; we’re here to help you.”

“Why?”

“Because ... you need help.”

“I survive.”

“We’d like to help.”

“I could draw you a picture. People tell me that they’re really good. Have you got a cigarette? I’ll draw you one for a cigarette.”

“Yes; why don’t you draw a picture, there’s some paper and some pencils in the house.”

“Where are we?”

“In the country.”

“Oh; great!”

Once Archie was settled, Nathan knew it would be about an hour before he surfaced.

“I don’t think I can cope with this, Jacob.”

“It could be temporary.”

“I think Joseph did it out of spite.”

“I tend to agree.”

“So what do we do?”

“We do what we did last time.”

“Jesus!”

“Don’t despair, he’s free ...”

“But he doesn’t remember I love him.”

“He’ll love you again.”

“What if he wants to leave?”

“Show him the horses.”

An hour later, Archie came through from the study and proudly handed over the picture in exchange for a cigarette.

“Wow! That’s really good.”

“Thanks!”

It was a picture not unlike one of the first that Nathan and Jacob had seen at Joseph’s in the early days after the accident.

“Would you like to see the horses?”

“The what?”

“The horses ... come on.”

The foals were in the paddock, skipping around.

“That one there is called ‘Nocona’ and that one is ‘Quan’ ...” pointed out Nathan, “They’re twins ...”

“I thought you said they were ‘horses’ ...”

“They are horses and they’re twins”

“I don’t know that word. I didn’t know ‘horses’ until you showed me.”

“How did you get here?”

Archie looked puzzled for a moment and was clearly thinking very hard.

“There was a man in a car and he ... was sliding on the ice and ... something happened. It hurt a lot ... then I think I went to sleep and then I woke up.”

“Do you know your name?”

“I don’t have a name.”

“We think your name is Archie,” interjected Jacob.

“I like that.”

“My name is Jacob and this is Nathan.”

“Who was that other man?”

“Joseph.”

“Was he the man in the car? They look a bit the same.”

“Yes ... that was the man in the car.”

“But there’s no ice here.”

“You were moved ... after the car hit you.”

“When?”

“Quite a while ago; you were hurt and we looked after you.”

“Thank you ... are you taking me back now?”

“No ... you can stay here with us.”

“But ... if ... oh, when I get tired I can’t think.”

“Why don’t you rest?”

“Yes ...”

Archie stumbled a little and Nathan reached out to hold his arm.

“I’ve got you ... you can lie down upstairs.”

“Is this your house?”

“No, it belongs to another man, Gus. He’s away but he’ll be back soon. I look after the horses and Jacob looks after Gus.”

“Did he get hurt?”

“No, he’s quite old.”

“How old are you?”

“Nearly twenty-seven.”

“I don’t know how old I am.”

“I’d say nearly twenty-three.”

“You’re very strong but I don’t weigh very much.”

“No, you need building up.”

“And you don’t mind if I stay here?”

“No, we’d like you to stay.”

“What would I do?”

“Help with the horses, help with Gus, draw pictures ...”

“Yeah, I could do that.”

“Here we are.”

“I don’t have any bed clothes.”

“I can lend you some.”

“Thanks!”

“Shall I help you to put them on?”

“No, I can do it.”

“Okay ... sleep and when you wake up, we can go and visit the horses again.”

“Okay.”

“Is there anything you need?”

“Uh, I don’t think so.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Nathan.”

“Sleep well, Archie.”

Nathan went back to Jacob in the kitchen and the pain was etched clearly on Nathan’s face.

“What if he never remembers?”

“Nathan, listen to me. Don’t wait for him to remember; he probably won’t. You’ll have to fall in love with him again and he with you ...”

“I don’t have to fall in love with him again but all that time, it’s just wiped out.”

“And you can do it all again.”

“What if he doesn’t fall in love with me?”

“He will if you give him all the same reasons to as last time; have faith. He may not remember anything but he’s still Archie; the one we met at the beginning. It’s a little easier in some respects.”

“Did you call Joseph?”

“Yes, and there was no answer but I’ll keep trying.”

“He must have done it on purpose. It didn’t happen to you when you came out from under his control, did it?”

“No, it didn’t. I’m really sorry but don’t despair.”

Easier said than done of course and he and Jacob still had Gus on their mind and maybe Joseph would do the same to him. A week is a very long time to wait for the return of a man you love very dearly and at no time did Joseph answer the telephone.

The week with Archie was actually very productive. He had an amazing capacity to learn; he always had. It just needed stimulation and Nathan and Jacob used many of Anthony’s techniques. The horses proved to be much more important than anyone could imagine. In tired and frustrated moments, Archie would go to see them and they kind of communed, all their heads huddled together like they were whispering some great and naughty secret that they didn’t want the adults to hear. It kept Archie relaxed and soon Nathan suggested that they go riding.

“Why not?” he suggested on the last day before Gus was due back.

“I’m scared; they run very fast.”

“Ayasha is a little slower.”

“Yes, I like her best.”

“Just sit on and get used to it, just in the paddock so she can’t run too far.”

“Okay ...”

Bizarrely, Archie saddled her up like he’d done it every day of his life.

“That’s right,” Nathan praised him.

Archie just beamed, praise had always been the key during the lessons with Anthony. After a pretty sedate canter around the paddock, Archie got off and stumbled into Nathan’s arms.

“Steady!”

Nathan had hold of him where he’d fallen against his chest.

“You’re much stronger than me. I was always thin ... my arms are like twigs.”

“Easier to slip into people’s pockets though!”

“Oh yeah, that was easy enough.”

“We can do some exercises to strengthen them if you want.”

“Please, yes ... if ...”

“If?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind; it’ll be fun.”

They put Ayasha back in the stables and were heading back to the house when Archie stopped them.

“Nathan ...”

“Yes, Archie?”

“I want to ask you something, but ...”

“What? You can ask me anything.”

It was apparent to Nathan that Archie was trying to phrase the question in a particular way.

“Nathan, when a man likes another man ... that’s okay, isn’t it?”

“Of course it’s okay. I like you and I like Jacob and Gus and Michael ...”

“Yeah and I like Jacob and Michael very much because they’re kind and they’re helping me ... what I mean is, if you like a man ... oh, what’s the word?”

“Do you mean if a man likes another man in the same way as, for example, Michael likes Jane?”

“Yes ... men and women go together but sometimes I saw two women together and sometimes two men ...”

“It’s absolutely okay for one man to like another man the way a man likes a woman or a woman likes another woman.”

Silent processing returned and they continued towards the house.

A little further and Archie stopped again.

“I like Michael and Jacob but ... I like you in a different way.”

“Do you mean that you like me in the same way as Michael likes Jane?”

The brief pause of maybe one and half seconds seemed to Nathan to stretch into eternity and back at half-speed.

“Yes ...”

“I like you that way too.”

“You do?”

“Yes ...”

“If ... no ... what about ... I mean ...”

“Archie, just relax and we’ll work it out.”

This seemed to lift the weight of a thousand moons from Archie’s shoulders … and a hundred thousand from Nathan’s.

“Michael kisses Jane and I wondered if we could try that.”

Nathan grinned and coloured a little.

“Of course; why don’t we try a bit later, when it’s quiet?”

“Yeah, I don’t think I could do it right now.”

Nathan just burst out laughing.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re so fucking beautiful and I-”

He clipped his tongue.

“And what?”

“And you make me really happy when I’m with you.”

This voyage of discovery was obviously going to be a little different to the first time and because of that, Nathan felt better, easier. No longer worried that he’d try to replicate the last year or so, because he knew he couldn’t. They had dinner, the three of them, and then Jacob, sensing something and just smiling, politely excused himself.

“Good night, Archie. With a bit of luck, Gus will be here tomorrow.”

“I’m really looking forward to meeting him … and you don’t think he’ll mind if I stay?”

“He’ll be fine about it.”

“Okay ... goodnight, Jacob.”

“Goodnight, Nathan; sweet dreams.”

“Good night, Jacob!”

The two were alone and just spent a few moments looking at each other over the table.

“Do you want to try soon?” Nathan asked.

“Yes, but not here, in case Jacob comes back down.”

“Well, in your room or mine then?”

“Yours ...”

“When you’re ready.”

“I’m just gonna have a cigarette outside and say goodnight to the twins.”

“Okay, I’ll be upstairs …”

“I might not be very good at it ...”

“We’ll practise.”

Twenty or so minutes later, Archie appeared at Nathan’s door.

“Hello ...” and the voice was so gentle it sounded like a mouse was asking to come in.

“Hey! Come in ...”

Archie stepped in and closed the door behind him.

“Do you still want to try it?” he asked.

“Yes, very much ...”

The atmosphere was electric. They moved closer, these two magnets and as they got closer, they moved more quickly until they were almost touching; poles together, not apart.

“Nathan ...”

“Just kiss me, Archie ...”

He let Archie dictate the moment and waited for him to move in. Their first kiss, all those months ago, had started everything. The feeling of Archie’s lips on his own was both familiar and yet totally new; the sensation heightened by the discovery on Archie’s part that he liked it, a lot! No instructions needed to be given; it just happened, like it always had, like it always should and like it always would. They broke off to assess progress.

“Wow!”

“Nathan ... I ... don’t know the words.”

“Don’t use words; let your heart, body and soul tell you what to do. It won’t be wrong, none of it will be wrong.”

“Can we get undressed?”

“Yeah, sure ... why?”

“I want to feel your skin against mine.”

“Help me get undressed then and I’ll help you.”

Even given their history of some pretty fantastic love making, Nathan had to admit to himself that having Archie undress him, whose hands were shaking so much he could barely co-ordinate his fingers to undo the buttons, was totally fucking awesome and better the second time around. Archie had got Nathan’s shirt off and, perhaps instinctively, moved forward and put his arms around Nathan and hugged.

“You smell of Nacoma.”

“You smell of the twins.”

“We talk about you ...”

“Really; what do you say?”

“It’s hard to explain; it doesn’t sound like the words that we use.”

“Are they good things, these things that they say?”

“Oh yes, only good things. There’s something special about your spirit, like you’ve been here before and maybe you were one of them.”

“Jesus!”

The potency of the image had the obvious effect and it was unusually impressive, despite the fact that it was encased in denim.

“Oh ...”

“Don’t worry; it’s quite normal; yours will do the same. Let me take these off.”

Nathan shed the jeans and the underwear and stood naked in front of Archie who was just wearing some shorts. Nathan stepped forward and his cock pressed into Archie’s groin and very soon he was hard too.

“I like how that feels,” Archie murmured.

“Touch it,” invited Nathan and at the same time he pushed the shorts down.

“Mine or yours?”

“Both!”

Archie let his hands fall from behind Nathan’s back and he very tentatively touched Nathan’s.

“It’s so hard and so hot!”

“What do you want to do?”

Archie blushed deeply.

“I want to put it in my mouth, but ...”

“But what?”

And Nathan’s voice was as gentle as any he’d ever used and all the while he stroked Archie’s back, circling lower.

“I’m afraid.”

“There isn’t anything to be afraid of ...”

Archie kissed his way down, nibbling on Nathan’s nipples en route which made Nathan groan.

“Fuck, Archie!”

When Archie looked up, Nathan saw a different light in those eyes. There was a growing confidence. If Joseph had taken all of Archie’s memories, he had left something behind. Archie reached his stomach and pressed his face into the hard contours and pulled Nathan closer. Archie’s hands were resting on his buttocks, with his fingertips tantalisingly poised on the edge of the crevice.

“Please take me ... Archie, please take me.”

No further words of reassurance or encouragement were required and Archie kissed the tip of his cock and then enveloped him.

“Oh my God ...” and the words got mashed.

Archie was in his own oblivion, tasting of this exotic fruit and salivating, the juices running down his chin. It did not ignite memories but it touched something very deep within his body and a connection was made. He sucked harder and felt Nathan buck a little, the hips unwinding like a clock spring but not smoothly, they juddered and spasmed.

“Archie, I’m gonna cum ...”

The hot seed entered his mouth and he knew he wanted it and sucked even harder to get it and as he sucked, he pulled in more tightly and dug his fingers into the crevice and like greedy roots they dove into the soft and yielding earth, that was just as greedy! Nathan was out of it, afloat, riding on energy waves. The sudden coolness of the air on his cockhead brought him to his senses and he looked down to see Archie still kneeling at his feet with the side of his face pressed against his groin.

“Archie ...”

He looked up and smiled. Nathan put his hands under his arms and lifted him up so he could kiss his mouth. They stumbled towards to bed and landed on it, shaking dust out of the rafters downstairs.

“I love you ...”

Archie didn’t respond immediately and when he did, it was to ask, “What is love?”

Nathan had half expected the question, not that the response was anything like prepared and the words just tumbled out.

“Love is the stuff that joins our hearts, bodies, minds and souls together. It makes us one, makes us happy and mad and drives us to do silly things and once you’ve got it, you can’t live without it ...”

“And you feel like this now?”

“Yes ... I feel this, for you and with you. It is the most powerful thing in the Universe.”

“I think you’d better suck mine.”

Raucous laughter and shrieks of ecstasy, soft murmurings and gut trembling moans kept Jacob awake until three o’clock in the morning.

“Thank fuck …”

Chapter Seven

The following morning, a little later than usual, Nathan came down and found Jacob at the kitchen table. When he saw Nathan, he just began to laugh softly to himself.

“More coffee, Jacob?”

“Yes, I think I’ll need it today. Something kept me awake last night ...”

“Animals?”

“Of a kind ...”

And Nathan blushed to his roots.

“Sorry ...”

“Don’t be ... how is he?”

“Sleeping after drawing a picture.”

“We need to talk about Gus and what happens when he gets back. One of us has to tell him about Archie before he sees him.”

“Agreed. I’ll keep Archie occupied.”

“Please ... too much information.”

“I meant that we’ll take the horses out.”

“Good idea.”

“How will we know if Gus is truly back without some control buried in his head?”

“He’ll know and I’ll use the same process that I used on Archie.”

“What was that?”

“I found the words one day whilst I was cleaning Joseph’s office. The words invoke a response and if the response is correct, then the control has been completely removed. It’s a failsafe. Joseph insisted on it being ‘constructed’ so that he could test me in case Anthony had lied and was plotting against him.”

“Jesus! Just thinking about those two makes my skin crawl.”

“So, I’ll test Gus and tell him about Archie.”

“If he comes back.”

“He’ll be back today, Nathan.”

After breakfast, Nathan and Archie went off on the horses. They took a pack with them so that they could stay out for lunch. Jacob had suggested that they get back at three o’clock. Jacob primed Michael and then they just had to wait. Jacob went around tidying up and getting the laundry together and in Nathan’s room, he found Archie’s picture from that morning.

“That’s ... perfection.”

When Archie and Nathan made love, the pictures which Archie drew afterwards were always very different to the ones he drew at any other time. Usually the ones post-coital were much more personal. The faces were identifiable even if the setting was allegorical. The others were almost always surreal and kaleidoscopic. All were amazing, especially when you realised that he never looked at the paper when he drew because he had to turn inward to see the picture.

The ones that Archie had drawn as part of the attempt to keep the demon at bay had been burned. Jacob couldn’t stand to be within five feet of them. So this picture, the first drawn for many weeks under normal circumstances, was more beautiful for that reason perhaps. Jacob hadn’t seen any of the ones Archie had drawn after making love to Nathan whilst staying at Joseph’s; he’d only seen the other ones, like the one Archie had drawn in exchange for the cigarette.

Even before he got nearer enough to make out the picture, he could see the quality, glowing like a hot star, like a diamond. From arm’s length it looked like a pretty but ordinary picture of the four horses, albeit, rendered in the most stunning detail. As he peered closer, he saw a completely different scene emerge from the shadows and the spaces between the horses and their legs, flanks, heads and manes. It was unmistakeably Archie and Nathan, dressed as the retro Comanche warriors, in the death throes of their passions.

“Holy shit! I don’t believe it ... he can’t have remembered ...”

But Jacob’s questioning was brought to an abrupt halt by the arrival of a car.

He looked out of the bedroom window and saw Gus get out and the driver unloaded some things from the trunk and Gus said goodbye and the guy left. Jacob rushed down.

“Gus!”

Jacob rushed out and unusually, flung himself at the old man, hugging him and just repeating, “Thank God ... thank God.”

Just as unusually for Gus, he returned the hug and said in his customary stoic manner, “It’s over.”

“I need to check that the control was removed.”

“No need ... he didn’t put me under.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty certain.”

“I’ll check anyway.”

Jacob knew the words by heart and spoke them slowly, with his eyes fixed on Gus’s. Gus made no response except to say, “I don’t have the answers.”

“What happened? No, later, come inside, because there’s something you need to know before you see Archie.”

“Is he okay?”

“Sort of ...”

Jacob explained and Gus actually cried at one point.

“It’ll be okay now,” Jacob reassured him.

“Do me a favour, Jacob, would you? Fetch the bags but leave the canvas one outside. I need to dispose of that myself.”

Jacob didn’t much like the tone which Gus used when he said that. He went and fetched the bags, none of which Gus had taken with him; he left the canvas one where it lay. It was just after one o’clock in the afternoon.

“They’ll be back at three.”

“You asked me what happened, Jacob, but I’ll tell everyone when we’re together, though Archie doesn’t need to know. He and I will talk in a day or so, and there’s something Archie and I need to do. I’ll check on the foals and wander over to see Michael ...”

“I’m so glad you’re back; I can’t tell you.”

“Everything’s going to be fine now.”

Gus headed off and Jacob baked a cake to give himself something to do and largely to take his mind off of the bags because he recognised some of them as Joseph’s.

Jacob’s Ordeal 4

“Jacob, you don’t look well.”

“I have a crushing headache.”

“Let me ask Anthony if it’s anything to do with the language tapes he gave you.”

“Thank you; I’m just going to lie down for a while.”

The apartment wasn’t that large and a corridor of barely ten feet linked Jacob’s bedroom with the main salon where Anthony was working, albeit, he was in the shower at this time. Jacob lay down and the throbbing and the flashing lights behind his eyes just made him feel sick. A little later, he decided to fetch some pain killers from the bathroom cabinet and as he moved towards the door, he heard Joseph ask Anthony about the headaches. For some reason, he stopped in his tracks and despite the pain, he listened.

“Anthony, we haven’t used anyone for this long before ...”

“Perhaps we should remove the base control and see how he is after that.”

“He has to deal with Phelps tomorrow.”

“If we push him, he may just break.”

“I can’t afford for that to happen.”

“Then let him rest for a while and I’ll see him a bit later.”

Jacob slipped back into his room and lay down again, feeling even sicker and now clammy. It was strange; this ‘revelation’ didn’t come as such a big surprise. Often he thought how strange it was that large gaps of a certain day or evening just seemed to be lost to him.

The incident at Phelps’s house came back to him with a sharp pain. The injuries had been explained away as the possible consequence of falling, maybe having blacked out. The anal bleeding hadn’t been explained and seemed to be overlooked by the doctor.

The thought which pinned him to the bed, more so than the migraine, was the chilling realisation that if he was being used by Anthony and Joseph ... what the fuck had they used him for?

Anthony called upon him later and spoke very softly, after which, he remembered nothing until he woke the following morning. The headache had gone and he felt strangely light, as if he’d lost twenty pounds in weight. Joseph knocked at his door and entered.

“Ah, you’re awake ... How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thank you.”

“I’ll bring you some tea.”

“No, no ... I’ll get up.”

“I insist; then we’ll discuss the agenda for today.”

“Phelps?”

“Quite so ...”

Joseph came back with the tea tray and sat down in the chair by the bed.

“Anthony has something for you to take to Phelps. When you’re ready, pop in and see him.”

“Okay.”

“Thai chicken soup …”

The words sounded strange, like a different language but strangely melodic. They left him feeling ‘empty’.

“I’m sorry, Joseph, you said something that I didn’t understand.”

“No, that’s fine. I was thinking out loud and what I might like for lunch today.”

“Oh.”

“When you’re ready, pop in to see Anthony and then we’ll discuss Phelps ...”

“Okay, I’ll just grab a shower.”

Joseph left and Jacob followed shortly afterwards. He started the shower but realised he needed his electric toothbrush which he’d left in the bedroom. He popped back to grab it whilst the water was getting hot.

“He’s completely clean, no trace ... so you think re-loading the control will work?”

“Yes, but there’s a risk that the procedure will invoke memories that we have supressed.”

“That would be-”

“Messy.”

“Try to avoid it then.”

“Yes, Joseph.”

Jacob retreated into the bathroom and sat on the toilet, rapidly processing the information which confirmed what he had heard the previous evening.

“He said I’m clean ... I must get out of here ... FUCK! ... my passport is in the wall safe ... keep calm ... get it and then go ... he can’t stop you.”

After a brief shower, Jacob dressed and headed out. He was in luck because Anthony was in the kitchen and the office was free. He marched up to the safe and began to dial the numbers. His hands were shaking and sweat was already pouring off of his forehead.

“What is it you need, Jacob?” asked Anthony.

“Oh, uhm; I wanted to check that my passport was up to date ...”

“Any particular reason?”

“In case Joseph decides to go to Europe.”

“I’m sure he would have mentioned it; and in any case, I think we renewed all the passports three months ago ... don’t you remember?”

Jacob had avoided looking at Anthony up to this point but now that the rouse was blown, he had no choice but to look round. As soon as he looked into Anthony’s eyes, Anthony said, “Medusa.”

Joseph walked in.

“Is something wrong?”

“Our little bird wanted to fly the nest ... I think the migraine interfered with something and he overheard our conversation, or part of it ...”

“Ah; is it time for us to find a successor?”

“It may be prudent, Joseph.”

“So what now?”

“I’ll prime him for Phelps and when he gets back maybe we have to revert to Plan B.”

“What about the memory suppression, can you test that it’s holding?”

“I will, yes, and if I detect that the wall is breaking down then I say we have no choice. He knows far too much to be wandering the streets without control.”

“The weather is turning; it’ll get icy soon.”

“Have you seen someone?”

“Yes, much younger and perhaps more easily manipulated.”

“Why do you say that?”

“From what I’ve gleaned, the young man is very eager to please and very trusting.”

“No challenge for me then!”

“You’ll have your sport, Anthony; never fear.”

Jacob was primed and left to see Phelps as planned. Once he’d mowed him down and reversed over him, he took the car to the wreckers and paid to watch it being crushed.

He got back to the apartment and Joseph and Anthony were having something to eat.

“Jacob ... how did it go?” asked Joseph.

“Very well ...”

“Anthony has a new set of tapes for you to listen to. Mandarin ... they say the future rises in the east.”

“Very good, Joseph.”

“Take a shower, you smell of gasoline, and then join us for a coffee.”

“Okay.”

“So you’re thinking of just holding him in stasis for a while then?”

“Yes, Anthony, whilst we assess the damage and the risk. In the meantime, I’ll get acquainted with the young man.”

“Try not to break him in so many places this time!”

Jacob lay down and plugged himself into the machine in order to start the lessons. He actually enjoyed learning new languages. The voice was so restful he immediately sank into the places that the voice described. Upon waking the following morning, he knew instantly that something had changed. He told Nathan it felt like he was in a prison cell. There was no door and only one small window, high up, which he could not reach easily. Nothing changed in the room and his life existed only in the room. Perhaps as a consequence of having his head fucked with for so long, but one day something did change. A ladder appeared against the wall and when he stepped up two or three rungs, he could see out of the window. Then he wished he hadn’t.

The memories of all the terrible and brutal things he’d done in Joseph’s service and all the terrible and dehumanising things that had been done to him, played out on the wall opposite his own as if someone was showing a film and using the wall as a projection screen.

The stream of memories never stopped; they played like an ‘A’ tape, over and over. If that wasn’t bad enough, watching the movie reel just filled his head with one lingering thought.

“There’s something inside your head and you don’t have a clue what the fuck it’s going to do next.”

When months later after they had moved to the house, he found the words that checked that the control was removed, an addition to the protocol that Joseph had insisted upon. He discovered that the ladder had disappeared and a key took its place, resting in the palm of his hand. He knew he didn’t have the means to remove the control, only the means to check that it had been removed; nevertheless, he had hope.

The ladder may have gone but the memories did not go away. He grew accustomed to those eventually. When the young man arrived, he felt anxious without obvious cause. He likened it to this; he had his hands around Anthony’s throat but as he squeezed, he felt the pressure around his own. The desire to kill Anthony was always held in check by his equal desire to live and be free. At first, his interaction with the young man who was immobilised in traction worried him. Then he grew to like the sound of the young man’s voice. He drew such astonishing pictures and often Jacob would be the first to see the pictures after they were drawn as he took in the breakfast tray. He would recall for eternity the morning that he saw the picture that smashed the walls of his room into a million pieces.

He knew Anthony suspected something and he trod very carefully; poised to act the second the opportunity presented itself.

Chapter Eight

The noise and bustle in the yard told Jacob that Archie and Nathan were back. He stepped out on to the porch and saw them together; chatting, laughing and touching and it just confirmed what he believed, that the horses and the power of love would heal Archie.

“Put the kettle on Jacob!” hollered out Nathan.

“Gus is back ...”

Jacob went back in and twenty minutes later the duo appeared.

“Where is he?” asked Nathan.

“Michael’s; he’ll be back soon.”

“Is he ...?”

“Perfectly fine.”

“Thank God!”

The footsteps on the wooden porch told them that Gus was back and as he entered, Nathan rushed over and they replayed the scene of earlier. Archie just stood quietly. Once Gus had extricated himself from Nathan’s crushing hug, he turned towards Archie.

“Hello Archie, I’m Gus ...”

“Hello ...” as soft as a mouse.

“This is my home and you’re welcome to stay for as long as you want ...”

“Thank you. I can help Jacob and Nathan ...”

“And me ...”

Something passed between them that the others felt but couldn’t quite gather in but then the moment was shattered by the arrival of Jane and the hubbub put paid to any further discussion.

“I’m quite tired so I’m going to go to bed if you don’t mind,” said Archie a little later after Jane had gone.

“Let me see you upstairs and settled,” offered Nathan.

Archie didn’t respond; he didn’t need to, except by holding out his hand which Nathan grasped and Archie towed them away and upstairs. Ten minutes later, Nathan re-appeared.

“Out like a light.”

“Good! He needs to get stronger.”

“Yes, he does, Jacob, because he and I need to do something and he’ll need all of his strength. So, before you boil over, shall I tell you what happened?”

“If you want to Gus, you don’t have to but I would be happier to know what happened and how things are left with Joseph.”

“He poses no threat to anyone anymore; but that’s jumping the gun.”

Over the next hour, Gus recounted the details of the week he had been away.

“So, everything of value is in those bags?” queried Jacob, seeking some kind of grip on reality.

“All I could find. It doesn’t compensate for what happened but it will as sure as hell help ...”

“Jesus! Gus, he could have killed you.”

“No, Nathan, there was never any fear of that in my mind. When he drove away from here that day with me in the car, he only had one thought on his mind and that was to get the job done.”

“It was his undoing in the end.”

“Well, you knew him better than anyone, Jacob. I’d say he’d gotten too confident and believed he could do anything; it blinded him to the near and present danger.”

“Are you sure he didn’t survive the impact?”

“As sure as anything I know. When you fellas are feelin’ strong, take a look in that canvas bag out front ...”

Jacob got up and Nathan followed him outside. Gus heard the retching and coughing and just nodded his head. It was some time before the pair returned and Nathan was as white as a sheet. Jacob was fairing a little better but then he’d seen a few more than Nathan.

“Fucking hell, Gus!”

“Not a pretty sight and if you don’t mind, I’m gonna dispose of that now. I certainly don’t want Archie to see it.”

Gus left them at the kitchen table. Nathan was still shaking and Jacob had to stand by the sink in case he threw up again.

“He fucking scalped him too!”

“No doubt before he dealt the fatal blow.”

“You think he was still alive; surely he was unconscious from the impact?”

“Did you see the eyes?”

“Don’t fucking remind me! How am I going to get that out of my head?”

“Hey ... is there any tea in the pot?”

“Archie!”

“That’s how,” whispered Jacob.

“You wanna help me and lead one of the foals over to Michael’s so he can check them over?”

“Yeah!”

“Whilst you and Nathan are gone, I’ll get dinner on.”

“Just an omelette, Jacob, thanks,” replied Nathan, looking green around his gills.

“Then I’ll need some herbs.”

“I’ll go, Jacob; just give me a minute, Nathan.”

Archie shot outside to fetch the herbs which had been Jacob’s ploy to get Nathan alone.

“Nathan, look very carefully at the drawing that Archie did this morning.”

“Shit! You saw it?”

“I was gathering up the laundry; I’m sorry. You didn’t used to leave them lying around.”

“No, sorry. What are you on about?”

“Just look very carefully and you will see something that, theoretically, shouldn’t be there.”

“Okay ...”

“No dill, Jacob; we’ll plant some more in the spring,” reported Archie as he rushed in, “shall we go then, Nathan?”

“Yeah, let’s go!”

They ate dinner without Gus who hadn’t returned.

“He and Michael went off,” Nathan confirmed, “Jane said that they would be back in the morning.”

“What’s in the bags then?” Archie asked.

“Shall we find out?” replied Jacob.

One bag contained a huge quantity of cash but the others mainly held folders containing something called ‘bearer bonds’ and share certificates.

“What is all this stuff?” asked Archie.

“The man who knocked you over, who was here the other day, left this for us to pay for your treatment and to say ‘sorry’,” replied Jacob, choosing his words carefully.

“Is he coming back?”

“Uh, no Archie, unfortunately he died, in a car accident.”

This was partly true. Within a mile or so of the house before Joseph had stopped the car to apply the control, Gus had grabbed the wheel and the car had careered off the road and into a tree. Joseph hadn’t been wearing his seat belt, forgotten as he beat his hasty retreat. He’d hit his head but he’d only been knocked out for a few minutes. Gus had dragged him out of the car, bound his hands and feet and when Joseph woke, he scalped him, after which, he cut off Joseph’s head. Gus had walked back and fetched Michael and they had disposed of the car and the body but not before Gus had stripped Joseph of all his personal items. Some paperwork, probably the rental agreement for the car, had revealed that he was living in Santa Fe. Presumably moving in for the ‘kill’, knowing Anthony couldn’t do anything for him now. Gus had ransacked the house and brought away anything he considered of value.

“Oh, he’s not a very good driver is he?”

Nathan smiled and then frowned.

“No, he wasn’t very good ...”

“So, what are you doing with all this paper?”

“We’ll take it to the bank and sell it.”

“Right; are we going to bed soon, Nathan?”

After spraying half the room with his beer, he managed, “Sure ... do you want to check on the foals and grab a puff whilst I clear up?”

“Okay.”

Archie left, scampering out like a child on their first important errand.

“Ask him about the picture, Nathan.”

“What am I looking for?”

“Look closely and you’ll see it.”

Nathan frowned but looking at the picture with Archie would be the ideal excuse to get up close and personal, though it didn’t look like excuses were going to be necessary anymore!

He went upstairs to brush his teeth before Archie got back and was sitting up in his bed looking at the picture when Archie came to the door.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes, of course ... it’s amazing ... really beautiful.”

“Do you still want to sleep together?”

“Yes, do you?”

“Yes.”

“Come in then.”

Archie came in and closed the door. He shed his clothes and slid under the blankets, pressing himself up close to Nathan immediately, who was still gazing at the picture.

“The detail is amazing, just look at the ... body art.”

“Gus has a tattoo; I saw a bit of it.”

“Yes, he does.”

“Nathan ...”

“Yeah?” But Archie didn’t reply and when Nathan turned to elicit the response, he saw the twinkle in Archie’s eye and the examination of the picture got deferred until later.

When they had first met and had begun to explore their bodies and sex, it was dominated by Archie’s fear and ignorance. That wasn’t the case this time. Archie was freer, more open, and less cautious. Nathan assumed something had been left behind, untouched by the cleansing of Archie’s mind. It wasn’t that. Joseph may have cleansed his mind of the memories but he couldn’t cleanse his heart, and that organ remembered how it had been.

Archie took the lead and it was as if Nathan was the virgin. They kissed and their lips held the imprint of all those past kisses, and re-awakened, burned like the element in the light bulb, illuminating everything. Fingertips remembered the touches and the caresses and one touch led to another like fire crackers being let off, a succession of ecstatic and mind numbing sensations that took them down to the sex pit. There the memories were etched onto the surface like a tattoo; a tracery of lines, drawn by the tip of a tongue. They fucked until they were exhausted, the sweat running off of their bodies and their hair damp with it. And each fuck rejuvenated the organs of their sex and each load was sweeter and like gods, they quenched their thirst on this ambrosia.

“I love you, Archie.”

“I love you too, Nathan.”

Just before he closed his eyes and relinquished himself to sleep, Nathan caught sight of the picture and in particular the rendering of the body art.

“Let’s see what materialises in tomorrow’s.”

Archie, already fast asleep, hugged him tighter.

Chapter Nine

Nathan left Archie in bed, sound asleep, with the pad and pencils within easy reach. He went down to apologise again to Jacob, for the ‘disturbance’.

“If this continues, we’ll build you a house of your own,” Jacob jibed.

“Well, we’ve got plenty of money.”

“Yes, we have. There was seven hundred thousand dollars in cash alone and I haven’t even looked at the amounts on the bonds, which are untraceable I might add.”

“So ... what’s doing?”

“I’m waiting for Gus to come back and he said that he and Archie needed to go off and do something.”

“Holy shit!”

“What?”

“The picture!”

“Did you see?”

“But how could he have remembered those designs?”

“You know what I think? I think the horses have held on to some of the memories. Since the cleansing took place he’s been spending a lot of time with them ...”

“He says they ‘commune’ ...”

“The horses would have seen the body art but as to remembering it and passing the details back, that’s ...”

“Miraculous.”

An hour and a half later, Gus re-appeared and Archie materialised in the kitchen.

“Archie, I wonder if you can do something for me?” asked Gus.

“Anything ...”

“Would you come out on the plains with me? Just for a couple of days ...”

“Sure ... are we camping?”

“Yeah, we’ll take the horses and camp by the river.”

“Gus, it’s getting a bit cold,” cautioned Jacob.

“We’ll be fine, Jacob.”

The look was a knowing one and invited no argument.

“When?” asked Archie.

“Tomorrow, after breakfast, but we need to sort out the gear and get the horses ready so let’s do that today.”

“Okay!”

The two of them headed off and left Nathan and Jacob in the kitchen.

“What’s he planning to do?”

“Search me, Nathan, but obviously we’re not meant to know too much.”

Nathan went back to the bedroom to retrieve the picture and ascertain if anything else had materialised, like the body art in the previous one. Jacob heard the scream and rushed upstairs. He found Nathan transfixed with fear by the bed, his gaze held by the picture that lay on it.

“Jesus, Nathan, what is it?”

All Nathan could do was point. Jacob advanced and when he saw the picture he too cried out.

“What the fuck?”

“The demon ...”

“It can’t be back, can it?”

“The control has been removed; this is something else.”

Gus appeared at the door and made his way slowly over.

“Yup, that’s what I need ... you guys don’t need to worry. When Archie gets back, everything will have been dealt with ...”

“What is it, Gus’?” Nathan pleaded.

“The demon rider, our enemy … and Archie needs to face it and deal with it.”

“How?”

“Can’t easily explain that.”

“Christ! Gus, we’ve only just got you both back,” sobbed Jacob.

“Nothing bad will happen to either of us and expect some changes ... good ones.” He left with the picture which he had rolled up tight. Nathan went to look for the guys after lunch as it appeared to him that they had been a very long time getting two packs ready. He found them in the barn and the sight, had it not been so touching, would have made him laugh, though nervously.

“You guys getting ready then?”

“Look, Nathan ...”

Archie was admiring his body art that Gus’ was applying. Nathan had tears in his eyes because with the art applied, it just made Archie seem so fragile, definitely too scrawny but somehow vital. The design was comprised of every traditional weapon known to the Comanche nation and even if he hadn’t intended it, Gus’s design screamed ‘protection’!

“Gus has his tattoo.”

“You did a ...”

But Nathan had to leave before he was betrayed by his emotions.

That night, Gus and Archie stayed away from the house and after a brief ‘goodbye’, they quartered themselves in the barn. Neither Jacob nor Nathan saw them leave on Ayasha and Nacoma the following morning.

“So we just wait?”

“Yes, Nathan, we wait and pray.”

Chapter Ten

As soon as Nathan went out to the stables to fetch the foals and take them to the paddock, they ran over to him and nuzzled, giving and not demanding reassurance, and he was in need of it. It was exceedingly rare for him not to sleep with Archie and his sleep of the previous night had been plagued by nightmares. He led the foals to the paddock and then returned to get coffee and to see Jacob.

“You look like shit ...”

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t sleep either.”

“What the hell do you think they’re doing?”

“Demon hunting.”

“Do you believe that; I mean, really?”

“I do, Nathan; the ‘legate’ was more than just a voice that Anthony had planted inside his head. There was real evil in there too; you remember the way it tricked him and abused him.”

“Only too well.”

“I also think that Joseph saw it and was afraid to take Archie in the end, hence his willingness to take Gus … and I am pretty sure that Gus would not have come back had he been put under; Gus somehow exerted a kind of control and that is why Joseph didn’t insist on taking me …”

There was nothing doing except to wait and as the horses were gone, Nathan stepped over to Michael’s to continue with his veterinary training alongside Benjamin. Jacob went through the bags and sorted out the paperwork. The share certificates were registered in Joseph’s name so he burned them. The cash was already tucked up in a box and locked away. He unlocked it and gazed upon it and wondered for a few moments how much of it he had earned for Joseph. He told himself there were better things to do so he sorted the bearer bonds and gasped at the rough tally.

“That’ll soften the blow of old age!”

Then he went to start cooking for the evening meal and the following day’s meals, when he assumed Gus and Archie would be back. As habit or need dictated, he went to his room a little later and lay down with the picture. It was the picture that had ended his ordeal and even if the value of the bonds had been a hundredfold more, it would be but a drop in the ocean of the value of this to him. The picture, like so many of Archie’s at that time, was astounding in its complexity and depth. Only now did he see the key in the mouth of the serpent.

“How could you have known?”

At lunchtime, he prepared the soup and took fresh bread out of the oven in time for Nathan’s return, and Michael joined them.

“Michael, if you can tell us, what is Gus doing with Archie?”

“It’s difficult to explain, Jacob; so much of it is incapable of being translated into words. Think of it as a journey, first and foremost, and a hunt. Gus hasn’t told me everything; he couldn’t in fact, because he doesn’t know himself. They pursue the enemy and when they have found it, they will kill it.”

“Why Archie though?”

“Gus and I have a theory. Anthony’s mind control programme tapped into something that was already there. When it was clear he could communicate with the horses, we knew he had a gift. He can enter the spirit world but in that place dwells the demon that waits to bite us.”

“You remember what he told us about fighting the four winds whilst he was in the coma?”

“And that was the point, Nathan. He has some affinity and from what you said, they held the demon at bay when he slept. But the Comanche make war, not peace.”

“So there is danger too?”

“Always, Jacob; but Gus is a warrior too.”

“But the demon is as strong as the Great Spirit.”

“There’s always a balance, Nathan, between the demon and the Spirit. The Great Spirit cast the demon into the bottomless pit but the demon took refuge in the fangs and the stings of the creatures that seek to harm us ceaselessly.”

“What do you think will happen?”

“Tomorrow is full moon. They will return and the demon will have been vanquished.”

“And what if the demon triumphs?”

“Then they will not return.”

Nathan wasn’t sure if asking what Gus was planning to do had been such a good idea now. He’d assumed the journey was metaphysical, an attempt to simply understand ‘what is there’. Now he understood there to be real danger and wondered if he oughtn’t to have asked Gus more first. Gus had said that there was nothing to worry about and only good changes would take place; he’d dealt with Anthony and Joseph hadn’t he?

The afternoon and the evening progressed but with a tension that couldn’t be ignored. Sitting at the kitchen table was as easy as being anywhere else. Jacob was the same; a cat on a hot tin roof.

“We shouldn’t worry; it saps our strength,” suggested Jacob.

“We should do something then.”

“What can we do that will help?”

“Do you mean us or them?”

“Either or both, something, but not this.”

“What if we lit a fire at the pit and tried the visioning thing that Gus was teaching us?”

“Okay, it feels better to be outside anyway.”

They went to the fire pit, an area set aside for fires and just chilling out. Within a few minutes, the fire was lit and they began the preparation; firstly a breathing exercise and then a song to harmonise their vibe. Just doing something was enough. From nowhere, Michael joined them and started drumming. Nothing much was said; it didn’t need to be, save prayers and mantras and songs, in fact anything that they could grab hold of. It created energy and they sent it to Archie and Gus and then it was just a matter of waiting it out.

Somewhere around three o’clock the following afternoon, there was a change in the weather and Michael came to the house. Jacob and Nathan were trying to read.

“It’s a sign ...”

The wind had picked up and swirled around, blown in from the four corners.

“What is that noise, thunder?”

“Come and see; if I’m right ...”

The men went out into the yard and the noise, like thunder, was getting nearer and louder. Just a dream was how Nathan described it later. Over the rise came the horses, at least a hundred, and at their head, Archie and Gus, riding like the wind.

“What the fuck?” cried out Nathan.

“I think we can safely say the demon was vanquished,” suggested Michael.

The thundering hooves became deafening and the power contained in that herd would have smashed through concrete. The group slowed down to a steady trot and then Gus halted and the herd too. Archie continued into the yard, riding Ayasha like she was an extension of him, or perhaps, he an extension of her. He stopped abruptly and swung himself off of the saddle and ran straight over to Nathan and into his outstretched arms.

“Nathan!”

If tears were words, they filled volumes and they were the best tears; a mixture of love and relief, victory and celebration.

“You did it!”

“We did it and Gus was supernatural!”

“It’s gone?”

“It’s never gone but hopefully it won’t be back for a very long time.”

“I’ve never been so happy to see you.”

“I can’t begin to tell you; I’m gonna have to write it down.”

Jacob was stood a little distance away, alone because Michael had gone over to see Gus and the horses. Archie turned to him.

“We chased the nightmares away, Jacob; they won’t plague you anymore.”

Jacob just stood and let it out and within a heartbeat, Archie and Nathan were at his side and they held him until the quaking, shuddering sobs had stopped.

“We brought you a gift ... Gus ...”

Gus moved forward and one of the horses followed him; a grey mare, whose coat was like milk.

“Her name is ‘Rosa’. She, like you, has had to bear unimaginable suffering and she needs someone to look after her.”

The horse stepped over and pressed her head to Jacob’s chest.

“I don’t believe it; I can ‘feel’ her ...”

The herd turned and moved off quickly, leaving the comrades and the three horses in the yard, happily dazed and speechless.

Perhaps an hour or two later, once the horses were settled, everyone was seated round the kitchen table. No one knew what to say. They felt incapable of framing a coherent question but it wasn’t necessary because they were together. Without any trace of awkwardness, Archie stood up and reached out for Nathan and towed him to their room. Within the confines of that space, they finally allowed themselves to breathe.

“I couldn’t bring my memories back; in the end I had to trade them for the strength I needed.”

“We’ll make them all over again.”

“Some we will, others I’m glad to lose.”

“Do you love me, Archie?”

“Yes ...”

“That’s all I need.”

Epilogue

“Is it finished?”

“Yes ... just!”

“What did you decide to call it?”

“I chose ‘Demon Vanquished’ ...”

“Do you want to ride out today?”

“Yes, to Gus’s place; it would have been his birthday today.”

“Let’s go then.”

Archie complained that these invitations to ride out were just an excuse for Nathan to get his hands on his body as he changed. They donned the traditional breechcloth and leggings and as the weather was warm, they left their feet and torsos bare.

“Re-tie my hair, can you?”

“Will you ever have it cut?”

“Never!”

They rode out on Nacoma and Ayasha and Jacob followed on Rosa, needing no reminder that it was a special day. Gus had died in his arms, not violently like his forefathers; peacefully, on the last day of spring in the year after the besting of the demon.

They buried him on the plains and scorched the earth with the design of his tattoo to mark the spot. On the first anniversary of his death, they returned and found a foal, born perhaps two hours before they had arrived. Jacob took it back, naming him ‘Ta-a’pah’, meaning ‘father of the day’, commonly the word used by the Comanche for ‘God’.

The Carter Seagrove Project

The Carter Seagrove Project is the creative space of authors Alp Mortal and Chambers Mars; it is a collaboration project open to everyone.

The Carter Seagrove Project also encompasses a book store within which, ultimately, all of the works of Alp Mortal, Chambers Mars and Carter Seagrove (Alp and Chambers’ joint writing pseudonym) will be available for downloading.

Indie means independence and independence is the freedom to exercise personal choice … join in the discussion here.

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Indie Dreamers

Table of Contents

Author's Note

Synopsis

Chapter One – At least I got a private room

Chapter Two – In roads

Chapter Three – New arrivals

Chapter Four – Anatomy

Chapter Five – Numbers and kisses

Chapter Six – My Christening and Birthday

Chapter Seven – The chair and liberty

Chapter Eight – Time to leave

Epilogue and the end of part one

Note on part 2

Chapter One – A horse, a horse …

Chapter Two – Jacob’s puzzle

Chapter Three – Decisions

Chapter Four – A marrying of minds

Chapter Five – Gus has a bright idea

Chapter Six – Preparations on all levels

Chapter Seven – Smoothing the way

Chapter Eight – The Tower

Chapter Nine – Not all Comanche die young

Chapter Ten – Requiem

Chapter Eleven – Peoples of the Four Winds

Chapter Twelve – Surprises not shocks

Epilogue and the end of part 2

Note on part 3

Chapter One

Jacob’s Ordeal 1

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Jacob’s Ordeal 2

Chapter Five

Jacob’s Ordeal 3

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Jacob’s Ordeal 4

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Epilogue

The Carter Seagrove Project